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Funny old Christmas

(31 Posts)
Luckygirl Thu 26-Dec-19 23:30:51

First Xmas since OH went into NH. Lovely moments with DDs and families; and moments of struggle when visiting OH and dealing with his paranoia. Two very different days from the Christmases I have been used to - but thank goodness for family.

Did not quite know how to divide up the time - felt I should be with OH, but he was asleep a lot of the time. NH was holding a party when I arrived and he had been got up and dressed to join in (he does not usually leave his room - his choice) but in the middle of it he told me they were all celebrating that fact that they were planning to kill him - so that put a damper on things a bit. What a sorry state to be in.

How did others with partners in homes divide up their time I wonder.

lemongrove Fri 27-Dec-19 22:25:02

That was a good idea Lucky because others should try and understand the ‘I was not always as you see me now’ point of view.
BradfordL How terrible for you and your children, you did the right thing, but with how heavy a heart I can only imagine.

Ginny42 Sat 28-Dec-19 20:47:18

What a lovely picture you paint of your DH Luckygirl. You must have been heartbroken to watch his reaction to the book, but you may never know what emotions it stirred in the inner recesses of his mind. He may have glimpsed his former self and his family and it's important for the carers to see him strong, clever and funny with the people he loved and who loved him. flowers

Madgran77 Sat 28-Dec-19 21:07:32

My father had PD. He was not on drugs but suffered great paranoia in the last year of his life. Hallucinations, attacking my mother convinced she was a danger. He believed my police officer brother was beating him up.

All we could do was keep offering reassurance over and over. Visiting was torture once he was in hospital.

It is so so hard. Luckygirl. You must do what is right for you not just for your husband, take care of yourself as well flowers

AllotmentLil Sat 28-Dec-19 21:15:31

Oh Lucky I am so sorry.
Your DD did a lovely thing by making that book for him and I completely understand your need to show the home care staff what he had been like. I felt the same about my DM.
The only thing I can say is that you could try not going everyday and see how you feel. It’s obviously not an easy journey for you and certainly not an easy time when you are there. I’m so glad you have family support but obviously you feel that you are his main contact with the world.
Sending you very best wishes. flowers

Harris27 Sat 28-Dec-19 21:28:15

This is the first Christmas without my mum. She had dementia and some of the things she said in the early days still haunt me. But it’s not them it’s the illness please keep reminding yourself of this. Sending you a virtual hug.