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New Year's Eve Melancholy

(146 Posts)
Lyndiloo Sun 29-Dec-19 03:42:16

Does anyone share my dread of New Year's Eve?

For everyone else it seems a joyful, positive time - looking forward to the year ahead and what happiness/success it might bring.

But for me, it's always a time of looking back, and feeling sad. Thinking of all those whom I've loved and have gone.

I put on a good show, of course - I wouldn't want to spoil all the excitement for everybody else. But inside, I'm crying.

inishowen Sun 29-Dec-19 10:43:45

I don't enjoy it at all. When we were young we went to all sorts of parties but I was putting on an act. I especially hate people hugging and kissing me! This year I want to stay home with hibs and watch The Crown.

grannygranby Sun 29-Dec-19 10:45:22

Thank you gransnetters you’ve all cheered me up. I guiltily felt alone in not liking NYE. Now I feel normal and can sneak off to bed to read about 11 hurrah. And actually I don’t like the idea of it turning to new decade...makes me feel old and much closer to death. 2020 though has a pretty ring but so futuristic. As a teenager I used to write and read science fiction stories and they were always set in the 2020’s!!! And everyone wore silver jump suits and travelled on flying scooters...way to go

Stella14 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:48:15

It has always made me feel uneasy. All of that false bonne ami, that borders on hysteria makes me feel uncomfortable and borderline upset. I found it very difficult when I was young since partying is obligatory. Now, thankfully, I mostly treat it like any other day. Netflix makes that easier, but there is still no escape from the fireworks and shouting at midnight!

Lupatria Sun 29-Dec-19 10:51:06

i like new year's eve. a friend and i get together and have a nice home cooked meal (her house or mine) and we then watch tv and chat until midnight.
we toast the new year and absent friends (my mother died on 1 january) and watch the fireworks on tv.
works for us - and has done for years.

Rufus2 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:52:40

Does anyone share my dread of New Year's Eve?
No way! Glad to wake up and find I'm still here! grin
We get two of them of course; OZ style and then we join in with yours whilst we sip our elevenses in the shade of the "ole lemon tree"
Count your blessings whilst ye may and enjoy! grin

Roses Sun 29-Dec-19 10:57:35

Not keen on new year,I will offer to babysit for my GC s but if not will be in bed at ten wishing the spring on its way

henetha Sun 29-Dec-19 10:58:33

For many years I baby-sat various grandchildren on new year's eve so that their parents could go out, but now all my grandchildren are more or less grown up I'm not needed any more. So I now feel redundant. I'll raise a glass and probably stay up for the fireworks.
Let's hope that 2020 is a better year for the world.

Grammaretto Sun 29-Dec-19 11:00:31

I understand your dread about it because there is such a build up of expectations, especially here in Scotland. I stopped going near Edinburgh on Hogmanay when it started to be a tickets only affair. This just emphasises, to my mind, the haves and the have nots.

I hope we'll just chill and be mellow with the aid of some champers (other brands will do) or a wee dram and if we meet anyone today who wants to come over for an hour or two, that's OK as long as they don't stay too late.

Bridgeit Sun 29-Dec-19 11:00:50

I believe It is a bit like a harvest, or even baking a cake, it is a way of looking at what went in , and what has come out , a time for reflection of all things that have passed throughout the year, what could/ should be changed , have we ourselves changed or altered are mindsets if not should we etc etc
A time to remember and be sad, a time to remember and be happy , a breathing space to brace ourselves for the year ahead, best wishes & a hope for Happy (ier ) New Year for all.

Bridgeit Sun 29-Dec-19 11:02:21

Ohhps , Our mindsets ,not are !

Bridgeit Sun 29-Dec-19 11:04:10

And a big virtual Hug for Lyndiloo .

harrigran Sun 29-Dec-19 11:08:27

DH and I usually see the New Year in and go to bed when the fireworks finish.
Hasn't been a great year and the future is uncertain.

Cid24 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:09:43

I ate the enforced jollity if it so ignore it completely and go to bed at my normal time of ten pm. I’ve been invited to a New Year’s Day lunch which will be nice , much nicer that NYE !
Self care- do what YOU want to do, not what people expect !

Witzend Sun 29-Dec-19 11:10:23

I’m so sorry it makes you feel sad. It does feel like a landmark in many ways - yet another year gone (esp. when you’re getting on a bit!). but if you can perhaps try to tell yourself that after all, it’s just another day...

I think a lot of people aren’t at all fussed about NYE and feel it’s an awful lot of hype that all too often turns into a bit of a let down. Or a lot of a let down! Plus going out anywhere is usually very expensive and crowded.

Sending all best wishes and ??.
I do hope you’ll feel better once it’s over.

rockgran Sun 29-Dec-19 11:11:24

I love the feeling of tidying up and starting afresh. A new diary and calendar as yet untouched (....apart from a few hospital appointments!) My sister finds it depressing but I've never thought so. 2020 will bring a significant birthday for me so I'm just glad to have (almost) made it!

Noreen3 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:15:30

I find it such a depressing time now that I'm widowed.I used to enjoy it when I was younger.I'll go out somewhere in the daytime so it's not such a long day. If I stay up late I get bored and feel so lonely,if I go to bed early I'm disturbed by fireworks.A couple of years ago some neighbours came out on their garden at 2 am,making a lot of noise and having a barbecue.Oh dear,I've turned into a grumpy old woman.

wicklowwinnie Sun 29-Dec-19 11:16:45

I no longer stay up till 12 o'clock. I always look forward to the new year, and next year, 2020, promises to be very exciting and interesting. We have freedom to look forward to. Happy New Year everyone. I enjoy your posts.

Jacktad1 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:22:24

I always hated New Year's eve since my parents died.
Then last year my son was almost killed in a car accident on NYE.We spent the night in A and E.
Fast forward a year, my son is alive but far from recovered physically and mentally (severe PTSD).
Won't be sorry to see the back of this year.

whywhywhy Sun 29-Dec-19 11:27:58

Yes, I agree Jacktadl. Good riddance 2019!!

Greenfinch Sun 29-Dec-19 11:36:15

Can you remember when New Years Day was not a public holiday ?Everyone just got up and carried on with their lives as usual.Much less fuss.

Urmstongran Sun 29-Dec-19 11:40:28

I’m not fussed either way. Last year we partied outside in a plaza in Malaga with friends, jigging about to a live band, enjoying cava and eating a grape on each bong of midnight. My cheeks looked like a hamster!

Other years? In bed before midnight perhaps, or enjoying a nice meal with friends and fireworks in their garden.

Either way, I’m happy. It’s only a day and I feel blessed to celebrate it - or not.

That said, I still well up singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ and can’t continue past the first verse because of my emotions ...
?

Scribbles Sun 29-Dec-19 11:48:29

I proposed to OH in the closing minutes of 1972 and he accepted so NYE is an anniversary and usually brings a reminiscent smile. That apart, it's just a date and I do understand the melancholy mood cited by the OP and others.

The overwhelming mood of retrospection mixed with expectation that is presented by the press and broadcasters at this time means that most of us will be caught up in reflection upon things past at some point. Yes, it's only a date and nothing really changes but it's hard not to be sucked into the zeitgeist.

I can't recall the last time we went out to celebrate NYE. There came a point when I realised I'd finally grown up and, as I loathe being hugged and kissed by strangers, I didn't actually have to! Very occasionally we've had friends round for supper and midnight toasts but these days I'm happiest going to bed with a good book on my Kindle. OH sometimes goes to our local pub, a quiet place full of sedate old codgers with no mass drunkenness or rowdy behaviour and he'll be home by 12:30am.

ReadyMeals Sun 29-Dec-19 11:50:29

No matter who I might have missed at xmas, or how isolated I might have felt on that day (there was a phase when neither child wanted to spend xmas with the boring old parents) I always perk up at new years eve as I know the whole thing is over for another year and life is going to get back to normal - including the d*mn TV and radio!!!

TyneAngel Sun 29-Dec-19 11:51:17

'Cheers to a New Year, and another chance to get it right' - Oprah Winfrey...….

Jaycee5 Sun 29-Dec-19 11:55:07

I don't like New Year's Eve. I put the TV on mute if anyone starts singing Auld Lang Syne on any show. I go to bed now and ignore it.