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How has the last decade been for you?

(30 Posts)
vinasol Tue 31-Dec-19 16:26:07

Has the last decade been good to you? Did you suffer many trials and tribulations?

Mines was a mixed bag. Marriage ended. Lost home. Stayed in homeless unit for a while until I found another home, which I love. Lost my father three years ago, but it was for the best in the end as he had dementia and was a poor soul. I still think about him often and miss him. Two of my sons got married and one has given me a beautiful wee grandson who will be one year old next month. Was finally able to reduce my hours at work. Met a wonderful man who I can't imagine living without. Met some wonderful people when I joined a walking group. Lost a few dear friends to cancer. Realised that I am very self sufficient and resilient. It has changed me, but for the better. I wonder what the next decade will hold.................

lemongrove Tue 31-Dec-19 16:37:06

The last ten years has been a real roller coaster, with more downs than ups in many ways ( too personal for a forum.)
However, the extended family is in an up phase at the moment, so something good.
There have been more things happening in the last ten years than in the previous forty years!
We celebrate our Golden Wedding Anniversary this year, which is quite exciting ( if we make it, DH says darkly)😁

annsixty Tue 31-Dec-19 16:43:01

Looking back, pretty grotty.
My H started with the memory problems which proved to be dementia.
The first 4/5 years were not easy but not too bad.
The last 5 were such hard work, I needed a new knee, my D’s marriage broke down, leading to two distraught children, not young, just old enough to really miss their father and family life, then their father moved abroad, another blow to them.
My H’s health deteriorated, a major stroke, then cancer from which he died in April.

I am now 82, not likely to see another full decade.
What a sob story, I hope you all make the most of every minute of the next decade, don’t waste anytime at all.
Most of all a Happy New Year.

KatyK Tue 31-Dec-19 16:59:58

Like most people, ups and downs. We retired, our lovely granddaughter started uni, we had some lovely holidays. We had our Golden wedding, my 70th. However, DH got cancer five years ago, all my hair fell out. DH's cancer may have returned. Not looking forward to 2020 because of this. I wish you all a happy and positive 2020.

DoraMarr Tue 31-Dec-19 17:01:53

I retired, moved house, stopped dyeing my hair, lost my father and one of my best friends, had cancer, saw two daughters married and the other two -son and daughter- buy their own houses, had five grandchildren and made a new life with lots of interests. So, quite positive really, on the whole.
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MiniMoon Tue 31-Dec-19 17:06:33

We too have had our ups and downs.
We both said goodbye to our parents.
DD gave us our two youngest grandsons.
DD and SiL became stay at home parents. DD began home educating her children who are all on the autism spectrum. Too high functioning for the local special school, but unmanageable for the local primary and middle schools!
DS and his partner took over the running of a local pub.
I retired from mental health nursing, and love retirement.
DH and I went on our first cruise, let's hope it's the first of many.
It's been quite eventful really.

merlotgran Tue 31-Dec-19 17:15:19

More downs than ups beginning with DH's stroke in 2010 but he recovered and his determination to keep his ill health at bay spurs me on through the dark times. I lost my mother but she was 96 and had had a good life and the least said about 2019 the better. In DD2's words, It can Sod Off!

Our seven DGCs are all doing well and their exciting and varied lives give us hope for the future. It's all about them now.

Who knows what the next decade will bring? Que Sera.

musicposy Tue 31-Dec-19 17:19:17

Ups and downs, like many.
Children grew up and left home which hasn’t always felt easy. I had a major illness 3 years ago from which I didn’t expect to survive (3weeks in hospital, a few months pretty much bed bound) and then DH had a stroke last spring. We are only mid 50s so it does worry me about the future.
On the positive side, my marriage is happier than it’s ever been and our finances are such that we are not living hand to mouth for the first time ever.
We are so grateful to still have all four parents but I write that with trepidation as they are all late 70s and 80s and not all in good health so I’m certain that the next decade is going to bring its share of difficulties and sadness.
On the plus side, the illnesses have taught me to value every day as a gift.
Happy new year to all.

BlueSapphire Tue 31-Dec-19 17:26:44

As someone said above, pretty grotty.
DH had a secondary spread of kidney cancer to his lung, and then had a stroke after major surgery to remove the affected area; he was never the same again.
My brother diagnosed with bowel cancer and kidney cancer at the same time. Luckily now in remission.
DH had a recurrence of his kidney cancer, which spread throughout his major organs, and died in 2018.
Hot water tank burst and was without heating and hot water for three weeks. Cloakroom cistern leaked all over the floor.

But some really good times as well.
DD married her lovely fiance, and DH was well enough to walk her down the aisle.
Lots of joy from our two gorgeous DGDs.
Despite his ill health, DH and I managed several foreign holidays and fantastic cruises. And lots of outings and meals out.
Paid off the mortgage!
I had the amazing support of family, friends and neighbours after DH died.
But most of all I knew the love of a good man, and miss him so much every day.

Wonder what the 2020s have in store?

vinasol Tue 31-Dec-19 17:58:57

Lots of ups and downs for all of us. I sincerely hope that 2020 goes well for all of us. It doesn't have to be the beginning of a decade, but the beginning of a new year which I hope has lots to offer us. Good things mostly!

I hope those who are suffering ill health find some kind of comfort and respite in the coming year, and particularly those who care for them.

Also, what would we do without wonderful friends and family who help us through these difficult times, as we do them!

Septimia Tue 31-Dec-19 18:22:51

Up and down here, too.

Lots of good things - granddaughter, postgrad degree, retirement; and difficult things - FiL died, DS marriage ended, DH heart attack; more good - new DiL, DH and I keeping well.

But I guess that's life. If there weren't hard times, we wouldn't appreciate the good and if there weren't good times we couldn't cope with the bad.

MawB Tue 31-Dec-19 18:50:17

Best of times and worst of times here too.
Since 2009 Paw and I saw all 3 daughters married to lovely men and he could not have been a prouder FOB. He also saw the arrival of 4 out of our 5 grandchildren but sadly never knew youngest D was expecting her first.
The worst of times was the increasing frequency of his hospital admissions, seeing him fade and age before his time and ultimately to say Goodbye just two years ago.
Am I a stronger person for it? I doubt it, the 20 years after his transplant forced me to step up and now I just think of the loss of a gentle and principled man and how we were denied the privilege of growing old together.

Sar53 Tue 31-Dec-19 19:03:41

We have had ups and downs, probably more ups than downs. The worst time was in 2015 when DH was very ill, lost over 3 stones in weight and was finally diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He has been in remission since 2016 and has been told he would be very unlucky if it returned. He has also had both of his hips replaced for a second time.
The best time was that we got married in January this year after 11 years together. Also 9 of our 10 grandchildren have been born since 2009.

Sara65 Tue 31-Dec-19 19:05:04

Definitely the worst decade so far for various reasons, but reading some of your sad tales, I realise that we just have to get in with things. At least we’re all still together.

tanith Tue 31-Dec-19 19:08:10

Same here for me ups and downs, my son found love and they had two wonderful children. Both daughters split up with long term partners traumatic for them and their children. My GC grew up and produced 5 children of their own. 4 yrs ago my dear husband had a ruptured Aneurysm and only just survived only to be diagnosed with cancer a year later and we said goodbye to him 15 mths ago. He is missed by the whole family.

ginny Tue 31-Dec-19 19:26:42

Oh gosh! Such a mixture of good and bad.
DD1 divorced and ex caused so much upset . DGS coped well and is a credit to his mum. She met her lovely partner who helped her so much. He was very ill just over a year ago and she helped him through. Also having been out of the workplace for 8 years she has worked her way up and has a very good and responsible job.
Dd2 bought her first house, an independent young lady with a busy responsible job and a good social life.
Dd3 married and produced our second beautiful DGS. Sadly she has since had two late miscarriages.
We lost my Dad 6 years ago and my FIL 3 years ago, one close friend 6 years ago and another last year. Also lost 2 much loved family dogs last year.
Husband retired 2 years ago and there has been much adjustment to a new way of life.
We have enjoyed a number of wonderful holidays at home and abroad.
Some health issues but thankfully nothing too serious.
We try to look on the positive side of things and count our selves lucky in having a very close and loving family.

JuliaM Tue 31-Dec-19 19:31:53

Looking back, it’s not a decade that l would like to live through again, 2011, three of my 5 daughters got married, two years later, two of them were diagnosed with Cancer, both in their early 30s. My eldest daughter survived and is now thankfully still in remission, my middle daughter not so, she passed away from Breast Cancer two years later, aged just 36years. I have been put on antidepressants for life now, l am a wreck without them. My GP has been brilliant, but as the head of my family, l have to try and stay positive for the rest of my family’s sake.
My Dad is 91years old, and suffers from dementia, up until recently l was trying to care for him also, but have had to give up due to severe arthritis and poor mobility. My husband is 80, a lot older than me, and is now angry because l can no longer look after him and do the cooking and cleaning anymore. I have 12 Grandchildren, but rarely see them due to distance and busy working lives, two of them are severely Autistic. So a new decade and better health all round would be brilliant for my family, l would love a nice holiday, but l have too many pre-existing medical conditions to be able to get reasonably priced travel insurance to go anywhere with a Tour operator company, even in the U.K.

threexnanny Tue 31-Dec-19 19:45:56

Mixed like everyone else. All the GC arrived in those years but one was born with health problems and another was very premature. One of our AC has had major health problems. However, OH and I both retired and loving it. We've enjoyed some great holidays. Now still have reasonable health and look forward to more holidays, but am in no doubt that the next ten years will bring another mixed bag.

annsixty Tue 31-Dec-19 20:25:32

All these posts prove what I believe to be true, life is a mixed bag, just be really happy in the good times, hopefully we all have plenty of those.
They will give us happy memories and help to shore us up in the bad times.
Let us count our blessings.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 31-Dec-19 21:07:52

On the upside this decade has given us five of our GC, youngest DS marry the most wonderful girl
(Eldest sons married in the last decade) seen our DD finally see sense and lose "the idiot", and find her "Prince Charming"(she still has time to have our sixth GC before midnight)

On the downside, I have lost both of my parents and a step parent, along with some very dear friends.

I will toast absent friends and new arrivals at midnight and smile through tears 🥂

BlueSky Tue 31-Dec-19 21:09:54

My two sons and family both emigrated ( what on earth did we do wrong?) missed them and miss them badly but you do get used to it (well you have to). We did visit but such long haul journeys have now almost become too much for us. We both retired, we both had health scares, we said goodbye to my lovely mum in law, and you suddenly realise that now we are the older generation. So it has been a decade of great changes.

cornergran Tue 31-Dec-19 22:24:53

A time of transition for us and our family. A marriage, the end of another, births, deaths, three home moves, accidents, serious health issues, professional worries, stress, pressure, special birthdays and anniversaries, superb holidays, contented days. Heartening, joyous, exciting, difficult, sad, fearful, worrying, challenging and heartbreaking in equal measure. Exhausting overall.

Framilode Tue 31-Dec-19 22:36:26

Mixed for us too. We sold up in Spain and returned to the UK. Still not sure if it was the right thing. On the plus side we now have a holiday home there.

I lost my brother after a stroke. I have also lost a couple of good friends. Our two youngest grandchildren were born and also a great grandchild. One of them had complicated health problems that required several operations but is now resolved.

Luckily we are both still in good health but, as we are now in our mid seventies, who knows how long this will last. We need to make the most of it.

We have been very fortunate compared to many.

SalsaQueen Tue 31-Dec-19 23:13:05

The last 10 years had highs and lows:

My eldest son was 28, living 3 doors away from me, with his then-girlfriend. Son no. 2 was 25, still living at home but was seeing his older lady. I was 50, working about 45 hours a week, on split shifts, as a Care Worker. My husband was working 60 hours, most of it away from home. We had a mortgage and a couple of credit cards. Health-wise, things were good. MIL was around.

Now, the eldest son has 2 daughters (8 and 5, by a woman he got with after that one 10 years ago, but whom he's not with so doesn't live with his children). He has his girls regularly.
Son no. 2 lives alone, (they split up)but is happy to do so, has got a mortgage, a nice car, good job.
I only work mornings, M-F, in a different job. My husband works 8-4, M-F in a different job. The mortgage was paid off 4 years ago.
MIL no longer around- she was the last of our parents to die, 3 years ago.
Health-wise, everyone is fit and well still, although I'm at my fattest grin

All in all, not too bad, compared to some others.

Party4 Wed 01-Jan-20 00:06:06

We moved house downsizing in prep for retirement.House we now realise may have been a bad move and prob have difficulty selling.4 Grandkids born,3 parents died following severe illness needing special nursing and care.Cancer x 2.Retired on health grounds,state pension 64.7yrs not 60 as we all expected.DS2 seperated from wife,her decision, now hassle and stress assc. with access 2 sonsDH retired but he developed mental health issues requiring counselling and has isolated himself from all our past friends and family.Thank goodness I found this site as I now feel I have no one following retirement, moving district,family deaths etc.Better get a grip and be more positive to start 2020.