Do you love your grandchildren as much or more than your own children?

I love my DGC more because they are children and therefore more vulnerable, they inspire deeper love than adult children do. Perhaps I'll love both the same when they are all adults. That's the only rational explanation I can give!

I wonder if any one else feels the same as I do. I had three daughters, all in their forties, married with various children. Whether its because I never had a son, but I much prefer my sons-in-law to my girls. They work hard share parenting and show me respect, never try to tell me what to do!

I'm with Grandma KT and Chewbacca. Friends told me I would love my GC more than my own, but I couldn't understand why that might be. My GD is adorable and I am amused to see characteristics of mine coming out in her already (she's nearly one), but she could never quite mean what my DD does to me, as she is not my child in the same way. I must admit I find it slightly odd when people say their grandchildren are their world, as ours is only one (albeit treasured) part of our lives.

Sophie’s choice. I love them exactly the same and worry about them equally. Altho grandparents are supposed to let the parents do the worrying I can’t help it. I have to say I think I get more joy from the grandchildren, probably cos I don’t get to see the worst bits and have time to enjoy the best.

I do love my (only) dd. Fiercely. But I struggle to like her sometimes. Or her choices....
I raised eldest dgd for 4 years. We have an amazing bond. I can't say I like her behaviour at the moment but I understand why she does what she does. And I do speak to her about it.
My youngest dgd is a different matter. I've had much less one on one contact. Of course I love her but we don't have the same bond. My loyalties definitely lye with my eldest dgd.

I love all my grandchildren - but not unconditionally! We’ll laugh and play around together most of the time but if I hear one of them really being rude to their mother, I simply intervene, put on my ‘stern’ face - look that grandchild straight in the eye and say “that’s enough, I will not have you being rude to my daughter like that - please say you are sorry now, and don’t let me hear you being rude to her again”. It certainly takes the ‘wind out of their sails’ and that instant change of tone in my voice and a stern look that they are not used to that seems to do the trick, and it certainly hasn’t affected my love for them - and they still seem to like me!

Unlike most who have posted I have a large family and a lot of grandchildren ranging in age from mid thirties down to 14mths plus greatgrandchildren too. I love them all but there are different types of love and I dont think I have adored anyone ever. I think while you can love people there are times when you don't like them. Especially adult GC who treat their parents with disrespect. But then others would say that is down to the parent who is my AC. On balance I would say my AC come before my GC.

It is Miss Adventure my daughter would even text me from
parents evenings to say how the children were doing in school,
but would still call to see me after it.

It's nice to have those memories, Annie, isn't it?

It was the same with my elder daughter, her children and me
Miss Adventure,

My mum and my daughter were very, very close, but it never bothered me.
I was always pleased to know they had each other to lean on, even if they did gang up on me sometimes.

Newmom101. I'm so so sorry. I had a mother who didn't particularly care for me or her grandchildren but I understand how painful that must be for you x

From the perspective of an ‘adult child’ I think it’s fine for grandparents to love their grandchildren more, provided you don’t make it obvious!

My mum has made it very clear that she loves my daughter more than me. When I told her I was pregnant she became obsessed with ‘her grandchild’. When I called her to tell her I’d given birth she didn’t ask how I was at all. Only ‘is the baby okay?’, ‘when can I see the baby’. The difference between her and my MIL who arrived with chocolates for me was quite upsetting. My mum even told my siblings off for buying me a present at the time as ‘it should be all about the baby’.

Some months later I was ill and DH had to call an ambulance for me as I lost consciousness. When he rang my parents to ask them to go with me to the hospital (as he was looking after 6 month old DD) my mum didn’t even ask how I was. She asked ‘shall I come and look after DD’ and got annoyed (and later complained to my siblings) as DH told her ‘no, I want you to look after YOUR daughter’. When she arrived at my home she stood downstairs waving at DD whilst my DH was repeating to her that I was upstairs, unconscious, being looked after by his sister.

There’s lots of other little things as well, but since having DD I have felt like an incubator for her. Just don’t let on that you love your grandchildren more, it’s definitely put a strain on my relationship with my mum.

I think it’s very hard these days to understand GC.
I raised my GC after my son died. Sometimes now she is 19 I don’t recognise her at times she has changed so much she did say to me a few times that her generation is messed up.
She can be a Greta Garbo and she can be a Shirley temple so
too. My dd and my ds were so great but they were a lot different. It’s a generation thing I think. One of my friends disliked her gd for years now they are devoted to one another.
Maybe it’s the teen thing.

Quite Jacq10 love that quote: You love your children but are in love with your grandchildren That's it exactly!

Just put this question to my DH. I thought he would hum and haw, but no, straightaway he said “Well, your children obviously” He loves the GC, but like me, our own children have a special place in our hearts.

This is interesting to read all the opinions.
I'm not a grandma however, I can tell you I loved mine like my mom. I was there to the bitter end and did everything I could for her. She loved my children (her great-grandchildren) too. We were all very close. I know she didn't have the same bond with her other grandchildren it great grandchildren. Possibly because they didn't spend the time with her that we did.
I know my mom favours one of my children over the other. Lord knows how she will react to the birth of my next in March!
My brother has always been her favourite. He is still childless.
I try to ensure I have no favourites, telling them both I love them equally. I'm fiercely protective of them (and all of my family), but they sometimes drive me crackers!
Love to them and my partner is a different kind of love, same again with my mom and late grandma. Yes, my children come first. I think for me they always will but any offspring they have are an extension of them, and will be loved in their own right.
I hope some of this makes sense. X

I love my own children more than my grandchildren if I’m honest. My own son and daughter will always have the main part of my heart, the GC, although I love all five of them, have the rest, along with DH of course! My love for them is one step removed, if that makes sense. (Not DH, that’s a different sort of love).

Wish they had a like button on this site, there are so many comments that I agree with, so I have to post a comment that is exactly the same as someone else, can’t understand why they don’t have the like button

Like many others. I have two children and each of them have one child. I love my daughter to distraction at times far more than I every have or perhaps every will my grandchildren.

I weep for her in times of her sorrow.
I smile for her in times of her joy.

We have been there for each other so much.

I do wonder if this is because there is a closeness of years between us (20).

Tedber, I could have written how you feel as I experience the very same with my daughter and eldest granddaughter !

Totally and completely loved each of my children from before they were even born. Loved being a Mum to them.
Never particularly wanted to be a grandmother........bad enough when my children picked their life partners, I felt pushed into second place in their affections. Then, of course, their children pushed me even further down the pecking order.
I was quite upset when my first adult child announced she was expecting, but twenty years and seven further g.children later, I am in a better place about this.
I know I fave birth to the best and most beautiful babies in the world. As all my g.children were very much planned and wanted by my daughters, I extend the love for my children to include their children - but never to anything like the same extent as the feelings I still have for my own children.
My sons wife decided she did not want children, and I must admit I do enjoy visiting them in a child-free atmosphere.
I have a pretty good relationship with all my g.children, a supportive and non-interfering g.mother. One, I had a great deal to do with in her earlier years,
Suppose I do love them, but not in anything like the absolute way I love my children.
Do not see anything wrong with that, surely that is the way it should be.

I love my four grandsons - but sometimes I don't particularly like them as they can be overwhelming especially when I am looking after all four! I love my two sons - I couldn't say if more than the GS - just differently and when they are young they are so cute and funny. My love of my life is my husband who is always there for me - friend, confidante and so much more.

I remember Lulu in an interview some time ago gave a quote "you love your children but are in love with your grandchildren". I can identify with this. I adore my DGS and we are very close. He is a kind caring boy and this comes through even in his school report. He is my only grandchild and likely to remain so.

My own mother caused mayhem in the family picking favourites amongst the grandchildren. She favoured my own eldest child and that of my sister and told everyone it was because she had so much to do with them when they arrived. So selfish. I would never dream of allowing myself to give the impression to a young child that they were not valued so highly as their siblings or cousins.