Feeling empty and lost

Try not to think about 'meeting someone new' for a long(ish) while yet or you might find yourself jumping from the frying pan straight back into the fire,so to speak..id just work on rebuilding your life,as it is now,on your own,not wondering about meeting a new man, learn to love your self too,and embrace your chance of a new start,at least youve got your mum,so youre not entirely alone,like some are in your situation.As for your lovely dog,try ask your friend for 'visitation rights' so you dont miss it too much,and have you maybe discussed the possibility of having your dog bag if there ever comes a time you live alone again maybe?? In meantime at least you know its ok,& with someone you know& trust.In meantime,what about getting out& about to meet new FRIENDS,of both sexes,rather than new men? It may be you might naturally meet a new man in the course of things?or if not you'l gain confidence,have new experiences,and make a new support network for yourself? & broaden your horizons a bit.or how about a few evening classes to learn something new? Or maybe to help add a new skill to your bow to help in your career,? Thus working your way up from a basic wage? Or speak to your boss,see if theres a way to gain a promotion of any kind? take care,and let us know at Gransnet how you get on.good luck.

I didnt know theres 'gransnet groups'- how do you find those please?

I have been reading a lot about climate change and the contributing factors. Clothing is a huge contributor so I have decided to try to not buy anything new this year. Will also save a bit of money too!!

I have been reading a lot about climate change and the contributing factors. Clothing is a huge contributor so I have decided to try to not buy anything new this year. Will also save a bit of money too!!

Sending you hugs and

Remember all things must pass and it WILL get easier,

xx

Thanks I sint know how there is gransnet groups think they mean local but theres nothing where I am xx

Linda369? Wrong post!????

SANDY2020 if you go to the 'Meet Up' section of the Forum, you can start a thread asking if anyone would like to meet for coffee/lunch in your area. Make sure you put the area in the thread title. x

So sorry for the troubles you are going through. Like someone else mentioned, it's good that you were able to place your beloved pooch with someone you trust.

One of my daughters had a particularly painful breakup when she was young because she had put all her hopes and dreams into a relationship that was purely one sided. Today she's happy, they've been married for over twenty years and have two great teenagers. At that low time in her life, I gave her the same advice I'm about to give you:

Above all, don't ever let a man who doesn't love you enough, define who you are. Put yourself on a pedestal because you are unique and very special. He didn't deserve you, not the other way around. When the right person comes along, he will prove that he loves you because he will never try to bring you down off that pedestal. Remember that the man who truly deserves you is still out there and he will come to you, without even having to look for him.

When I first split from my ex after almost 19 years of marriage my first reaction was 'How will I cope on my own with 2 teenagers?' I looked at dating sites and thought I needed someone new but soon realised many of the men were only after one thing and as time went on I found I was stronger than I'd thought.

Once I got over the shock I knew I was better off without him. I still haven't found anyone else and have been single for many years now but I have plenty friends, good relationships with my grown up kids, despite them living at a distance, and a busy life.

I will be retiring in about 6 months and looking forward to the opportunities that will bring, including having time for all the activities I don't have time for at present. I do some volunteering which has brought some great friendships too. I won't say I never feel lonely, because I sometimes do, but most of the time I'm too busy to be lonely.

I'm no longer looking for a new partner as I don't need one to be fulfilled and happy. Of course if one came along that would be a lovely surprise, but he'd have to be very special for me to give up my independence now.

Be kind to yourself and believe in your ability to get through this. You are probably a lot stronger than you think.

Thanks all after been told today I'm going to slap you if you dont shut up I've booked a removal van and I'm going very soon I'm scared but I'm off the feeling of relief is magic!!!

Keep everyone posted, SANDY2020. They have been supportive and would like to know how you are coping.

Yes, do let us know when you are safely installed at your mum's place!

Hi Sandy. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but as others have said, at the moment it's hard for you to see the positives, however love yourself, don’t allow whats happened to define you.
Do permit yourself to grieve the loss of what you thought your future would be, and not being able to keep your dog.

Wishing you happiness, and good luck for the future and sending a big hug ?

Good luck and get out of there as soon as possible. You dont deserve to be spoken to like that. Nobody does.
Go to your Mums and start to heal but dont even think about another relationship yet. A very dear friend felt so unloved after her marriage broke up that she was forever looking for someone and went from one bad relationship to another fir several years. Learn to love yourself and realise that you are special first. I wish you lots of luck and we are all here for you when you need to vent or want advice.

I will thanks support us lovely and kind words much needed thanks all and especially kind people that have pm me I need to vent at the moment and someones who's been through this knows how I feel .its a sense of relief yet scared and only have few more weeks ,,, not months now ((is reasons complicated ones))dont judge please but got a date now and nearly sorted!!

Tena lady do a free dvd showing how to do pervic exercises and it was free got mine a while ago but I think they are still available.
Hope that helps and good luck it is a scary time.

Just focus on healing and learn to be you again before you were in a relationship. Don't focus on finding someone else. That will happen when the time is right. Be glad you still have your mum to turn too. Ask if you can visit and walk your dog. Maybe in time you might get your dog back once you are settled.

Thanks for PMS helping loads xx

It is stressful to make so many changes at once. Try to focus on one day at a time. You do have thinfs to look forward to still. You can build good relationship with your Mum, look forward to son coming home from uni to visit you, you can visit your dog in new home and take for a walk. You can make friends with people at worknand save for a holiday. Try to drawxa line under abusive relationship and enjoy looking after yourself. Don't rush into new relationship.

Make you you nlock this abusive ex from any social media accounds and change mobile number. You do not want to allow them to invade into your new life.

I'm sorry that you have to give your dog to someone else. Speak to your mum to see if she will allow you to keep it...

It's not nice feeling lonely, even if you will be with your mum. It may take time for you to get on your feet again and make friend. Try to keep busy.

You could try a website called meetup. (https://www.meetup.com/)

It is a network of groups all around the world. There will probably be a local group close to you. (https://www.meetup.com/cities/)
There you can put in your interest so that you can find groups of people who have the same interest - such as yoga, running, arts and crafts, theatre, walking, etc.

Someone might post a note in the group you are interested in, that she/he is organising an evening to go dancing, or a day to go for a walk. A calendar and time will be included - so you just turn up if you fancy going.

Or you might want to organise a meet up yourself, and therefore you would post something up saying that there is a film at the cinema that you are going to on such and such a day and at such and such a time; and that anyone can come along if they wish to do so.

I plucked up the courage to go to some of the local meet ups and made some lovely friends through a walking group, a dancing group, and an outdoor group.

Have a look at the website and see if it will help you to get out and about more.

Good luck! xx

What are people’s views on the Queen having a somewhat grinning, smiling Prince Andrew to church with her yesterday? A mistake or not?

Sorry wrong theead

You will meet someone who is right for you. The key is to get used to being on your own and enjoying it. I wasn’t married to a good man, got up the courage to leave him but then didn’t give myself time and married someone else who turned out to be exactly the same - a bully, narcissist, controlling etc. Now I feel I’m a failure. Two failed marriages before I see the light of day! I’m old now and I guess I’ll just have to enjoy being on my own. Good luck and don’t make the same mistake as I did. X