This house eats things!

Evening all, and good wishes.

I'm getting really fed up with things going missing here!

A carefully drawn (by an expert) plan for the garden has been missing for years, been through every drawer, cupboard etc to no avail.

Various bits of paperwork are marked awol, just at the moment you need them, but tonight a tub of cocktail sticks/toothpicks have disappeared!

I know I put them upright in the top drawer, because we got fed up with them spreading themselves around in other places (the top and bottom of the container they were in obviously had "issues" and couldn't bear to stay with each other, so they kept parting and scattering their contents)

Some things that go missing are easily understood and accounted for, for example washing up sponges, metal pan scrubbers and rubber gloves will have been taken by Minnie, a cat who was obviously a scullery maid in a former life, and can usually be found scattered around the house "Oh do come in neighbour, kettles on, just ignore the sponge and scourer in the middle of the hall, no, it's not an art installation, nor am I a complete slut, it's the cat"

But as for some other stuff, I'm