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This house eats things!

(78 Posts)
phoenix Tue 11-Feb-20 19:31:47

Evening all, and good wishes.

I'm getting really fed up with things going missing here!

A carefully drawn (by an expert) plan for the garden has been missing for years, been through every drawer, cupboard etc to no avail.

Various bits of paperwork are marked awol, just at the moment you need them, but tonight a tub of cocktail sticks/toothpicks have disappeared!

I know I put them upright in the top drawer, because we got fed up with them spreading themselves around in other places (the top and bottom of the container they were in obviously had "issues" and couldn't bear to stay with each other, so they kept parting and scattering their contents)

Some things that go missing are easily understood and accounted for, for example washing up sponges, metal pan scrubbers and rubber gloves will have been taken by Minnie, a cat who was obviously a scullery maid in a former life, and can usually be found scattered around the house "Oh do come in neighbour, kettles on, just ignore the sponge and scourer in the middle of the hall, no, it's not an art installation, nor am I a complete slut, it's the cat"

But as for some other stuff, I'm confused

Callistemon Tue 11-Feb-20 19:41:44

No, it's not the house, it's The Borrowers.

Every house has a Clock family, Pod, Homily and Arriety.

You will never see them, but they're there.

Nortsat46 Tue 11-Feb-20 19:43:50

Phoenix our elderly cat Missy, has always collected things and left them in our hall as gifts. Her largesse includes men’s odd socks (not my partners), children’s T-shirt’s, a baby grow, crusty looking y fronts and women’s knickers.

Where and how she got these and dragged them over many high garden fences, I do not know.

Her most recent acquisition was a pair of my knickers (I must have dropped them by the washing basket, in our bedroom) and when we returned on New Years Eve, they were artfully displayed in the hall. They were definitely not artfully displayed there, when we went out ...

Callistemon Tue 11-Feb-20 19:44:41

Please be careful of the cats, it is thought that they may eat Borrowers, that could be why Egglatina disappeared.

phoenix Tue 11-Feb-20 19:45:09

Callistemon why on earth would The Borrowers want the garden plan?

Callistemon Tue 11-Feb-20 19:46:05

Their ways are mysterious phoenix

For a nice new carpet?

Callistemon Tue 11-Feb-20 19:46:58

Ah - the cocktail sticks!
Fencing for their new garden!!

phoenix Tue 11-Feb-20 19:57:10

If The Borrowers want a new carpet, they are welcome to take the tiny bit that is in the cupboard under the stairs, God knows why it's there, but hey ho! It's all of about a foot square confused

As for cats, Minnie is (I think) too small and timid to tackle a Borrower, and as Oliver Sprout seems to suffer from a moderate form of CBA, I doubt if he would stir his stumps either!

SueDonim Tue 11-Feb-20 20:02:03

Nortsat46, does Missy know Slinky Malinky? grin.

I bought some wool to make my dd a cardigan. It totally disappeared and I had to re-buy. Then we were to go away for a few days and my Dh discovered it - underneath a suitcase! I mean - Why? How? confused

nanaK54 Tue 11-Feb-20 20:04:12

Definitely Borrowers - your garden plan has been cut to size and is currently being used as wallpaper

Callistemon Tue 11-Feb-20 20:05:12

It wasn't the Borrowers knitting a new carpet then!!

I'm going now, honestly


Audun Tue 11-Feb-20 20:07:59

Socks? Pens? Scissors? Just bought a bag of tea lights as they were finished....nope, they reappeared in the food engagement ring turned up under a large stone in the garden seven years later when I fell over the stone, now I just trust to serendipity. 🤭

phoenix Tue 11-Feb-20 20:12:09

This may sound strange, maybe even unbelievable, but when first married to ex dh, we lived in Windsor Castle, George IV Lodge, Lancaster Tower (bottom floor of the left hand tower of you are looking up the Long Walk)

Things would go missing in the flat, little things like tweezers from the bathroom shelf. One day I stood in the middle of the flat and said "OK, give it back" 2 days later, the item reappeared.

Doodle Tue 11-Feb-20 20:19:17

Minnie having a 🎉😺?

Nannylovesshopping Tue 11-Feb-20 20:25:04

I’ve lost my milk pan...........

Nortsat46 Tue 11-Feb-20 20:26:29

SueDonim, Missy is also black and I now realise that Slinky Malinky is her cousin and they meet up for high jinks and tutorials on stealing ...

Words will be had ...


phoenix Tue 11-Feb-20 20:29:20

Doodle Minnie is such a fussy little baggage when it comes to food,that somehow I don't really see her preparing candles for a clandestine soiree with her chums!

phoenix Tue 11-Feb-20 20:30:31

Nannylovesshopping it's probably in the pan swallowing cupboard.

Chewbacca Tue 11-Feb-20 20:49:55

My house eats money. Constantly. And in huge quantities.

Alishka Tue 11-Feb-20 20:56:00

A friend moved one Saturday to a house in the middle of a grove and introduced herself to her new neighbours. She'd had a catflap installed in her front door. On the Sunday she let her cat out for the first time. Cat went exploring and returned dragging a beautifully cooked still hot leg of lambgrin
Friend never knew who'd lost their Sunday lunch!

elsieshufflebottom Tue 11-Feb-20 21:02:52

@Alishka I knew someone who had two Siamese cats, who worked together as burglars. Two pork chops once. Another day an unopened half defrosted bag of prawns, the two cats carrying a corner each!

Alishka Tue 11-Feb-20 21:08:42

elsie my friend's cat was a Siamese too! Loved that yours worked in cahootsgrin

SueDonim Tue 11-Feb-20 21:12:41

Bad cats, Nortsat! Tsk tsk! No Dreamies for them!

phoenix Tue 11-Feb-20 21:35:48

CANAPES *NOT candles! Damn auto correct!

AllotmentLil Tue 11-Feb-20 21:51:19

Our cat was found tucking into MiL’s Christmas turkey (cooked). She just laughed ...
Things go missing here too but I usually find them on a shelf too high for me to see - theBorrowers are tall here in Scotland!