Immortal

Did hear about one person who kept a conservatory salesman going for ages. Got him to agree that they could put one anywhere and then told him he was living in a first floor flat. With regards to the car accident I have various responses from mild hysteria ( Oh no! did I hurt anyone?), agreeing (I have had a few recently - was it the Porsche or the Mercedes?) and most recent going along with it until she asked the date and I said ‘tomorrow’.
We eventually got the BT call blockerphones which have been superb - but have started getting the calls on our mobiles. It may be a job but these people must know what they are doing.

I pretend to be either my sister (I don’t have one) or the new au pair who only knows one sentence in English “missis out, back later”. Keep repeating ......... they get fed up eventually.

Love it. They are so annoying but I do feel sorry for them they are earning a crust as we all do.
I ask the car accident callers to tell me all about it which flummickes them then I ask if I've managed to waste as much of their time as they have mine. They've stopped calling.

SueH49.
Same UK and cremations are becoming the norm and near where I live a large area of land where for many years was to be designated for future burials has been replaced with a housing estate.My late mother passed away unexpectedly but it was age that prevented her wish for medical science. I can't imagine AUS being an exception.

I had a cold caller so I pretended to be the 'cleaner' I went on a rant about how much work had been left for me to do, all the washing up, the ironing etc whilst the home owner had popped out for bread. I could hear the calling trying not to laugh and he said he would call back. I really enjoyed that one!

I'm very boring and usually let them say a couple of sentences and then politely tell them I am not interested say goodbye and put the phone down. I must try some of these conversations, it would brighten up the day.

However my OH is terrible for being drawn into long conversations and sometimes I'm hovering by him, listening in, as I'm always afraid he will succumb to their sales talk. It has happened with double glazing and a visit ensued Although I got rid of the salesman eventually it was months and months before they finally gave up on us, constantly phoning. Does anyone else have the same problem with their OH/DHs?

Excellent responses all round.
I will remember them for the next cold call.

Just as an aside: if you accidentally open the door to a cold caller, tell them you are just the house sitter. If they really push it, tell them the owners are away abroad, return unknown.
They very quickly lose interest and leave.

I just hang up if I don't know them. Life is too short to waste on these people.

I have to remember that one it's so good ?

Haha this is excellent! My husband usually tells them to eff off if they start being pushy. Me, I never answer my phone to an unknown caller!

Hahaha...That gave me a giggle

Last cold caller told me I had been injured in a car accident. Yes I said it was awful, a terminal accident and I died!

Brilliant! I got annoyed by a call from one of those claims people who call you randomly and start on about " our records show that you recently had a car accident . . ." (I don' t drive and don' t have a car.) I answered enthusiastically "Oh, yes, I did!" The girl asked for details and then I started on a long tale about how I was driving late at night on a dark country lane, and saw some huge lights blinding me that caused my accident, and then told her about these weird little green spotted alien creatures who had taken me onto their spaceship and asked me all sorts of questions and told me about their home planet, and then given me tea and scones. The girl on the phone actually let me go on for about 7 or 8 minutes (I became really imaginative!) before she ended the call.

Love it!
I did once ask a cold caller, if he was psychic and talk to people that had passed over to the other side when he wanted to speak to my mother.
His answer was that he would be happy to talk to her at anytime......
My mother had passed away 6 months previously

oh I love this thread! I don`t answer the phone , usually, unless I know who the caller is,, I don`t hear well on the phone...
but I think I may do so next time it rings, just to try some of these responses.

yes,SueH49... tell your mum, I totally agree with her,, we had the simplest, plainest cremation service for my dh,,, it still cost nearly £3,000. I hasten to add that cost was not the consideration,,, just don`t go along with all this malarky..
and flowers?? who , exactly are the flowers for? profit for the florist.. the dead person, certainly can`t enjoy them

my family know my views on flowers, so I get flowers from them now!! whilst I can enjoy them

That is the best, I love it. I always thought that cold calling was illegal. When they phone me and ask me things I always tell them that if they will answer the question first then I may answer too, soon gets rid of them. Saying that I also feel for them as it's only a job.

Brilliant. My husband specialises in these sort of conversations too

?? absolute classic !

Nicely done, VampireQueen, I assume you told Sarah your name, after you explained you are immortal...?‍♀️

Classic lol.

Just tell them you are not having a funeral. It's not compulsory and it is becoming more common here (Australia) to have the body cremated and then have a celebration of life which is really a big party.
My Mother has donated her body to medical science and thus we will not have a body to deal with. She is adamant that we are not to have a funeral but happy for us to throw a party on her demise.

Love it!! I always wish I could think that quickly. Once someone on the phone tried to get me to sign up for carpet cleaning. It would make the pile look good as new. I told her if they could find any pile on my old carpets they were welcome to try. She put the phone down.

??

I just say “oh, just a moment” and put the phone down. They’re never there when I go back - in ten minutes!

Brilliant vampirequeen and lemongrove.