Do we mollycoddle our children today?

I remember dogs roaming the way cats do now. It was quite sweet they had packs: they always hung out with the same dog mates. Everyone knew the local dogs: which to avoid and which to pet. No need for doggy daycare etc you just fed em then opened the door and they walked themselves.

I also remember less dog fouling back then, perhaps dogs chose to be more descreet and bury it more when they live a bit wilder?

There was far less traffic and roads werent obscured on both sides with parked cars so that made it safer for animals and children

I remember when I was five, Myself and some other kids were picked up by an ambulance and taken ten miles to have our tonsils out (no parents with us). Apparently, the girl in the next bed woke up in the night wanting her mummy and I told her to be quiet and go back to sleep. Not very nice of me!
We were taken home by ambulance two days later.
Yes, too much molly coddling now!

I also remember less dog fouling back then

I can remember white dog poo on the pavements and in the park (all those unsupervised dogs!) notanan2! What was that all about?

A frined of mine has told me that when she was 6, more than once she travelled alone by train from London, to somewhere quite distant like Cheltenham.

Her father took her to the station and handed her over, luggage, ticket and child, to the guard, who would often keep her in the guard's cubby hole with him and when she reached her destination he would take her off the train and hand her to her waiting grandmother. The procedure was reversed on the way home.

She loved these journeys, because the guards would talk to her and tell her stories about the railway and admire her favourite doll.

Far from remembering less dog poo in my childhood, I can remember much, much more.

Walked to and from Infant and Junior Schools then Grammar School was two buses away, and we didn’t have a car. Remember walking to, crossing then waiting for first bus on the main Birmingham to Coventry Road at 7am as we started at 8.15am. I was a very small 11 year old and always walked alone. It has made me a very independent person too much so sometimes.

We were mollycoddled ,weren't allowed bike s because they were dangerous ,not allowed on swings ,had to stay within sight of the house .As a teenager my dad met me at the station with the dog right up until I got married at 21 .When my sister joined a folkband Dad and I would go to their gigs in local hotels .Just so he could keep an eye on her.We were innocent and naive .
I only found out as an adult that it was because dad had 4 sisters and he never saw any of them grow up,2 died before they were 5,one was hit on the head with a swing ,one had meningitis.The two surviving sisters were put into seperate childrens homes when their mother died at 42,they were around 100 miles apart .Dad did manage to keep in touch and after the war when he left the navy each sister and his brother stayed with us when they left the homes .If you know why parents are over protective its easier to nderstand .When I was wee I just thought they were too hard on us by not letting us go to things and places our friends went .I dont think I missed out by not wandering the streets maybe I did?

I never ever had a smack, Urmstongran even though some of my crimes were detected!

I didn't wander the streets, although I was allowed to walk to friends' houses. We did play out but had a green opposite where we played, later on were allowed to roam over the fields, sometimes on our own. Perhaps our parents were very trusting.

Your dad had his reasons to be over-protective of his girls, paddyanne although that is a good question, whether you missed out or not. Does it make us more or less independent or more nervous?

When I was 6 or 7 Mum used to see me across the road and I used to run the mile to school. My granny lived half way at the next batch of houses and looked out for me. Once a car stopped and said "Hello little girl" so I ran like the clappers to where gran could see me. Once when I was 10 I walked home via the nearly dried up riverbed with a friend to find my mum going frantic wondering where I was! I'd had a fantastic time.
When I was about 13 my friend and I used to go into town by ourselves to the cinema, and to any fairs that might have come to town. We roamed the countryside as well but we knew everyone in the village and if we saw someone we didn't know we would scarper pdq - there weren't many strangers around then. Now there are so many people you don't know about and with so many mums and dads having to be at work there aren't many homebodies to keep an eye open for you. I think we were more street wise but stranger danger is way worse than it was and local communities aren't as tightly knit.

I wouldn't say children today are molycoddled. The world isn't safe as it was. More cars, more people, less people looking out for one another, more awareness of potential dangers and more paedophiles, people on sex offenders registers.
I want my children to be safe, happy and loved and will do anything I can to keep them safe. I want my children to know they can come and talk to me about anything and not be frightened to do so.
Personally some of what occurred in previous generations sounds like neglect- be it intentional or not.

I was sent to Nursery school on a bus at the age of 3. I was put on the bus by my Grandfather and met at the other end by a teacher at the school. I didn't live with my mother until I was 7 and that was because she was expecting my brother. I was kept at home to look after him, while my mother did other things (she may have been working - I really don't know) This lasted until the School inspector came round - and then I had to go back to my Grandparents care. By this time I was expected to walk to school and home again at the end of the day (I had school dinners). My Grandmother found me work to do, if I wasn't "usefully occupied". I could read, knit or crochet, or play out provided grandma knew where I was and with whom. Tasks involved being sent to run errands for elderly neighbours, picking fruit from the garden (in season), feeding the hens (when we kept them) laying the fire, washing up, sweeping or shaking the (small) rugs or tidying generally. My grandparents were quite strict and sadly, my mother wasn't really interested. I did learn to be very independent, which I think was a good thing. I washed and ironed my own clothes from the age of 12 - but never became the great cook my Grandma was!

Callistemon I had one smack when I was two and I remember it well ,My lovely dad was so upset that he had smacked me he sat on the bed with me and cried.One of the aforementioned aunts had made me repeat the "f" word that my older sister told me to say at the dinner table .Older sis learned it at school .Swearing was a definite no no in our house so Dad smacked me for it,
I have to say my mother was angrier at my aunt for egging me on than me for saying it .I haven't ever used bad language since and no one swears in my home because they know my feelings about it.Now thats a whole different thread ..does smacking work? It did in that case .
I am and always have been very independent and confident about what I'm doing so being restricted didn't seem to affect me.Left school at 15,married at 21 ,had my own business at 22

Merryweather there is a world of difference between neglect where children suffer and benign neglect.
Noone has said they were frightened of their oarentsmmwhy younshould surmise that indon't know.

You sound like a young mother, not a grandmother so there is quite a difference between life now and life in the 1950s.

What's going on? I typed this out, tried to post but it wouldn't post.
So I logged out and back in and there it is!!
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And it is the unrevised version with typos, hope you can translate it.

I was nearly five years older than my brother and this apparently qualified me to be his substitute Mum. By the time I was eight I was expected to take him out to play with me and boy did I resent it. In the holidays we got bread and cheese and instructions not to come home until tea time, so that meant me minding him all day, every day. I well remember charging around with the village children whilst baby brother sat and cried because we wouldnt wait for him, and sitting up tall trees whilst he was stuck at the bottom wailing. I feel guilty thinking about it now, but I got terrible stick from my peers for always spoiling our games with a baby brother in tow. Even more annoying, when he messed up his clothes or cut his hand, or fell in a stream it was always my fault and I would get a smack, a lecture and sent to bed with no tea, but not little brother. Then when brother was six I nearly drowned him by leading him across a fast flowing slippery mill race when neither of us could swim. Luckily when he fell in a passing dog walker threw him the end of the dog lead and pulled him to the river bank. He went straight home and told on me and I was gated and had no pocket money for a month. I dont know if all of this was character building, but thankfully and perhaps surprisingly, as adults brother and I get on quite well.

I can remember my mother shouting after me as I ran outside to play
in the street with my pals around age 8,Make sure you get back in before it gets dark! I would be gone for hours.Oh the fun we had.

Some of us still live in three tier school areas and put our children on the bus age 8! Mine certainly haven't been helicoptered

I refused to let my mum to take me to school. She told me years later that she’d followed me for a while but then decided I was ok.

I also visited the dentist on my own from 11 onwards ( my parents were both terrified of the dentist!)

From 9 I was allowed to take my younger brother & sister to the Saturday morning pictures which was a bus ride away.

I met my cousins over the local park and we all went home when we were hungry. No phones so couldn’t get in touch even if we were in trouble!
We also knocked on doors if we were thirsty to ask for a drink of water ?

Merryweather I was born immediately after VE day, both of my parents worked, Dad, like most at that time five and a half day week , Mum worked 8am until 4pm from the time that I was 7 and my younger sister started school aged 5. You may believe that we were neglected, we were not. The time dad did not work he spent with mum and us kids.

If anything there was relatively more sexual abuse of kids in those days than there is today and much more abuse of wives. We kids were warned about men with strange and dangerous behaviour and we all avoided them like the plague.

The press has been responsible for much distortion in the whole issue of abuse. In the past it was simply considered to be "family matters," I know because I had friends who suffered and in the late 60s and 70s I was involved in helping such victims and could not get the police to act. Don't forget that was also the days of the legal Paedophile Information Exchange, fighting to enhance and increase the activities of its members.

The result of all of the mollycoddling of children is to disable them from recognising risks of all types and enable them to develop into inept adults.

We weren't neglected at all, we just had lots more freedom.

After Mum had waved me off to infant school, making sure I held little friend Susan's hand, she must have scooted round getting herself ready for work. She always walked past school and I was supposed to look through the cloakroom window and wave as she went past. I realise now she was making sure we got there safely.

Really enjoyed reading these posts.