Wolf whistling, ok. Or offensive. Thoughts!

I think a whistle... from a distance of say 200m from a building site, is a far cry from harassment and sexual abuse. I didn’t always like it, but never felt threatened, and I certainly didn’t feel it was ever going to go further. On the other hand, I have experienced harassment, and that is totally different, and on one occasion, involved the police.

Same here Endlessstrife

Why did you not like it, then?

endless it is not classified as sexual abuse - that’s the usual DM rubbish and it would only be harassment in a bigger context. But if you read the thread most women and girls don’t like it at best and find it threatening, upsetting, demeaning at worst. Distance is irrelevant. Men should just NOT do it. Full stop. I’m sorry you’ve had awful things happen to you but that doesn’t give you the right to minimise the feelings of others - it’s not a competition and it should make you more understanding if anything.

I didn’t always like it

I'm interested to know why if it was not a problem.

Never had cause to be harrassed by the police.

I think a whistle... from a distance of say 200m from a building site, is a far cry from harassment and sexual abuse

It is harassment - it is forced upon girls/women without any concern about whether it is wanted. It implies that girls/women are simply there for the enjoyment of the male, assigns value and to the girl‘s/woman’s outer appearance (is the woman ‘worthy’ of a wolf whistle?) and assumes that women are happy to receive this (often unwanted) attention - while the male cares not a jot about how the women and girls on the receiving end actually feel about it.

ananimous

If you don't like something you just do not like it.
Why are you asking a poster why she didn't like it?
Why?
The way you are asking sounds like you do not understand this experience, is that the case?

I understand, endless did not feel threatened by being whistled or called after but still felt uncomfortable. In fact I reckon half the time that is why they do it...to make themselves feel powerful by making a young girl or woman uncomfortable....isn't this kind of obvious?

no-one said they had been harassed by police.

@Pinkquartz

That was to:
endlessstrife I think a whistle... from a distance of say 200m from a building site, is a far cry from harassment and sexual abuse. I didn’t always like it, but never felt threatened, and I certainly didn’t feel it was ever going to go further. On the other hand, I have experienced harassment, and that is totally different, and on one occasion, involved the police.

I wanted to understand why it was not harrassment, if "she didn't always like it"...suggest harrassment to me. that's all.

Wolf-whistling is harrassment, always was.

This is a short clip about a situation where a young woman decided to confront the man:
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06g8l8s

And this is an LBC clip of a builder who feels suppressed:
youtu.be/zNCRZDOCf9M

And please, please listen to these 6 minutes of "This American Life" audio as Eleanor Gordon-Smith tryst to reason with someone:
www.thisamericanlife.org/603/once-more-with-feeling/prologue

That poor builder, is now intimidated by women! Those horrible feminists!

There aren’t enough eye rolls in the world for the irony that he feels intimidated! He’s a mans man! He should be allowed to do as he pleases

I know Summerlove - you couldn’t make it up!

I used to get wolf whistles, notice I said used to, cars tooting, I took it as a compliment and made my day. This was in the 70's- 80's.
The factory where I started work at 15 years old, the foreman was in his 40's told me once that I had 'come to bed eyes'. I can't remember feeling offended.
It was a different era.

I know it was a different era Sharon103 and I too had plenty of wolf whistles (and plenty of comments) but I’m afraid I didn’t like it. It felt invasive and rather sleazy.
Mostly it wasn’t scary (though sometimes it was) however I always found it an uncomfortable experience.

To be honest, I think men whistled and shouted at virtually anyone so I don’t think it could really have been mistaken as a compliment.

sharon oh yes it was a different era - there was no such crime as rape in marriage, men battering their wives was ‘just a domestic’. And some women regarded a random bloke on a building site whistling at them as a ‘compliment’ I wonder how many of the whistlers went home to be marital rapists and batterers given their complete lack of respect for women?

" A different era" - how could anyone feel flattered by a man making a sleazy comment like "you have come to bed eyes".
suziewoozie - spot on.

Why would you feel flattered by that sharon? Do you feel that your worth was increased by a male who was old enough to be your father objectifying and sexualising the teenage you?

* ananimous*, sorry, only just seen your question. I suppose I still felt it was childish and pathetic, but didn’t feel threatened and uncomfortable. The police didn’t harass me!! I was harassed by someone else, and needed to involve the police. In my experience, the men who shout out and behave like morons are the most embarrassed when confronted. It’s the quiet ones who are more likely a cause for concern.

I think you are wrong endlessstrife about being embarrassed if confronted. Maybe they are a tiny bit, just for a moment but longer term they don’t “get it”.
I’d love you to hear this little clip (also posted above).
www.thisamericanlife.org/603/once-more-with-feeling/prologue

In my experience, the men who shout out and behave like morons are the most embarrassed when confronted

I disagree. The men who harass women generally have zero consideration for their feelings and don’t give a toss if they’re confronted - it’s all part of the power play and they get a thrill if they see they see their behaviour has provoked a reaction from the little woman who is just there to look pretty and play dumb.

No, I wasn't flattered by the comment by the foreman that I had come to bed eyes. I had never heard of that saying before and being all those years ago I don't remember how I felt at that time and yet it has always stuck in my mind.
There was always a few of the older men there that would make comments to us young girls. We just labelled them as dirty old men.
Wolf whistles, yes I saw them as a compliment.
When I say about the era, you only have to think back to the tv programmes that were around in the 70's 80's. Just as an example, 'On the buses', the Carry on films, they were rife with sexual innuendos weren't they and yet we watched and laughed at them. The racism in Alf Garnett 'Till Death us Do Part. A very popular programme. 'Love Thy Neighbour' We are a respectable family yet watched it.
40/50 years ago that's how it was. Times have changed.
We were asked in the original post Wolf whistling, ok. Or offensive.
We have varied opinions which should be respected

Exactly Sharon!

You weren’t asked if you found them flattering 40/50 years ago though.

I’m so glad that they’re now seen for what they are - sexual harassment that contributes to objectification of women and girls who are worthy of far more than being whistled at like dogs or sheep.

One summer scaffolders were putting up a platform for roofers, one man old enough to know better thought it funny to roll his hips and shout "show us your knickers love" to my sixteen year old sister. Her answer "if your bums as big as your mouth they won't fit you" sent his work mates into fits of laughter. My father nearly choked on his tea. Needless to say there was no more catcalling.