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Are we allowed to change our minds ?

(57 Posts)
Gemini17892 Tue 25-Feb-20 13:36:27

Not sure of the exact quote but was it Maya Angelou who said ‘ When I knew better , I did better. ‘ ?
Some of my beliefs and opinions have changed over the years and I think this is what ought to happen throughout life.
People held opinions that seem outrageous nowadays. Should we be held to account for things we said and did when young and maybe foolish ?

yggdrasil Sat 29-Feb-20 11:06:42

But you know you can't change your mind. It was the 'will of the people' and Johnson is going to see it through to the bitter end of No Deal angry

varian Sat 29-Feb-20 10:41:56

The EU referendum of 2016 may be history, but we shoulld not forget that it was ill-concieved, strictly advisory and won by lies, cheating and foreign interference.

It will go down in history as an important turning point where this country took the wrong turn. There is a difference between accepting that it happened and ignoring the true facts.

TerryM Sat 29-Feb-20 09:57:30

I would hope people would grow and learn.
My....the things I consider important are not what I considered important in my youth
However maybe the dumb things done in our youth make us what we are today ?
I am truly grateful social media wasn't around in my early teens for the daft things I did

M0nica Sat 29-Feb-20 09:36:23

Varian Please change the tape. It doesn't bear constant repetition and is history now.

Gemini17892 Fri 28-Feb-20 22:09:57

Oh my word ! You do have to be so careful with your choice of vocabulary on here. And I’m not referring to the n word mentioned previously. I’m referring to ‘allowed’. Not the best word maybe but ......
And how do you know if it’s a thread about a thread if you don’t read all the other threads on here ?

anniezzz09 Fri 28-Feb-20 19:18:40

I think that these days, St Paul would certainly be on the terrorist list compiled by the police and GCHQ. Likewise Jesus. grin

varian Fri 28-Feb-20 19:18:34

If you were one of 5he decent people who were fooled by the leavers, yes it is good to change your mind.


M0nica Fri 28-Feb-20 19:10:14

I also think that overtime our thinking on various subjects evolve.

I can think of a number of subjects where my opinions, formed by the attitudes and knowledge of the period - and I mean 1960s - 80s - hves then changed as more information became available or where a subject I had never really thought about, became of active current concern , so that I did think about it.

For all but a few, our attitudes are not cast in stone. For under 30s I would ignore anything said more than five years ago, unless it was an attitude repeated many times and continued way past a time when they should know better. For people over 30, I would ignore anything said more than 10 years ago..

Bear in mind that St Paul had been a persecutor of Christians before the incident on the road to Damascus, which led to his conversion to Christianity and his later willingness to die for that religion. Nowadays, he would be hounded to the end of his life by those refusing to believe he could really be a christian, because he had once thought otherwise, indeed the leaders of the christian church may well have rejected him because of his previous allegiance.

Fennel Fri 28-Feb-20 16:28:16

"Are we allowed to change our minds ?"
I hope so, because I regularly change mine.
With the exception of a few things.
Otherwise I try to keep an open mind.

POGS Fri 28-Feb-20 15:56:31

Is this thread initiated as a general question or about the Tory Party?

I think there are plenty of MP's from ' ALL ' political parties that could be held up for scrutiny and the balance could be addressed by posting the homophobic, sexist, antisemitic tweets etc. that has hounded many from various parties. It would quickly be condemned to the ' Whataboutery' tag but the balance needs to be understood when apportioning blame to just Tory/Labour etc.

Is this thread is another thread about an individual already being discussed on GN?

' If ' it is a general question then yes of course we are 'allowed ' to change our minds, it is a human trait and using the word ' allowed ' is rather odd .

What an individual says at any one given time may not be where they end up years later and there is no one reason as to why that happens, maturity, personal circumstances, gained knowledge of, reacting to change in society etc. etc.

What is annoying is when there is a determination to twist or purposely refuse to look at ' the context ' of some accusations, feel it appropriate to condemn one individual but not another because they may like one but hate the other. E. G an MP or and individual from one political party may be called to resign for his/her actions but if the same happened within the party someone sides with they ' HAVE BEEN ON A JOURNEY'

anniezzz09 Fri 28-Feb-20 12:42:28

Well in terms of change in language, some might find this amusing and some horrifying:

A few of the 'mistakes' are probably more suitable to Irish culture but I thought the link was educational!

Doodledog Fri 28-Feb-20 09:20:23

Is that a a ‘socialist meme’? I don’t know, as the Bullingdon Club is private, male and members only but Cameron was asked and never denied it.

Any and all criticism of individual Tories is not necessarily an act of socialism, you know. In fact, I was, broadly, speaking in defence of the bloke who dropped his pants, and he is/was a Tory.

As for the letterbox and ‘watermelon smile’ comments, whatever the context they are pretty offensive, don’t you think? He could have made his point without using such derogatory terms.

Baloothefitz Fri 28-Feb-20 00:28:21

WHY are you FFs ing Yeahbutnobut? You chose to write the offensive N word out in full & others including Welbeck have been sensible & kind & explained why it really isn't necessary.

Gemini17892 Thu 27-Feb-20 22:00:43

Presumably because the post was deleted.
I went back to check and it had gone. In my opinion it was used as an illustration of what is now unacceptable . It wasn’t meant to be offensive at all.

Bridgeit Thu 27-Feb-20 19:48:32

Why the F,sakings?

Yehbutnobut Thu 27-Feb-20 19:02:22


Gemini17892 Thu 27-Feb-20 18:56:45

By “held to account “ , Bridgeit , I was wondering if he should have lost his job because of saying those things ? I think he should have resigned as some of those comments were pretty disgusting.

Gemini17892 Thu 27-Feb-20 18:45:59

I take your point Welbeck. I should have written “old tweet OR student rant “. I wasn’t thinking of the trouser dropping MP . I was thinking of the awful rants by Andrew Sabisky who resigned recently.
I can see a difference between those 2 things.
If s.o. had too much to drink and dropped his pants that’s one thing but if someone’s rant reflects his true beliefs about women etc that’s more serious. I think anyway.
I suppose some might argue that even those sorts of beliefs could change with age. Some people like to shock only and might not really believe what they are saying. I don’t know. I’m no expert. That’s why I asked the question.
Thanks everyone for your posts.

Baloothefitz Thu 27-Feb-20 16:48:46 is extremely offensive to repeat the rhyme you chanted at school ,I am hurt & upset by you writing the word out today ,why did you feel it necessary ? You could have put the N word as people do.

LJP1 Thu 27-Feb-20 16:00:03

The difference between 'giving offence' and taking offence' are very different. Some people take offence when none was intended. I suppose that shows lack of perception.

Most people don't mean to 'give offence' but some people always take it, just the same.

GillT57 Thu 27-Feb-20 15:48:24

I suppose we are all guilty of youthful indiscretion, of speech and action which we would not use now. Whether or not we should be held accountable for such depends I think upon where we are now. I am not in the public eye, do not tell people how they should live their lives or make the legislation to punish those who stray, but I think that those who do, need to take a good look at their younger selves before they criticise others. I am thinking here of M Gove; as a young journalist he took recreational drugs, so did many others and I care not a jot. What I do care about is that this same man was responsible for the legislation that meant that any teacher indulging in their spare time, the same as he did, would be struck off for life. Before we get into discussions about the responsibilities of journalists versus teachers, it is the hypocrisy, the 'do what I say, not what I do' that I have a problem with.

MarieEliza Thu 27-Feb-20 15:43:50

I changed my mind many years ago and cancelled my own wedding the day before. I have never regretted it and my mother was very relieved.
Some guests grumbled and asked for their gifts back. The priest visited to check it it was last minute nerves. I have now been married to a good man for over 40 years, I am glad I changed my mind

Bodach Thu 27-Feb-20 15:20:01

Oh, come on, Doodledog. I really cannot let you get away unchallenged with perpetuating that urban myth/socialist smear about the PM "burning £50 notes in front of homeless people". And when you say that "context is all, I suppose", it's a bit remiss of you to omit to mention that the PM's comment about "letterbox women" was in the context of his impassioned defence of women's right to wear the full veil if they chose to do so.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 27-Feb-20 15:13:18

I'm sure that many of us expressed opinions when we were young and hadn't experienced much of life and would say things differently now. If we could revisit our younger selves we'd be probably be embarrassed.
You're bound to change. A closed, rigid mind shows a lack of intelligence and empathy, surely? Not to mention tunnel vision.

Bridgeit Thu 27-Feb-20 14:44:10

When you say ‘ should we be held to account’ do you mean that we should be punished or held to account for them or do you mean just admitting to the past behaviour.?