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If I'd known then what I know now ...

(74 Posts)
b1zzle Thu 27-Feb-20 12:53:03

… I'd have taken more care of my teeth, never have started smoking, never sat in the sun...

Luckygirl Thu 27-Feb-20 12:57:12

Ah - the retrospectoscope!

SalsaQueen Thu 27-Feb-20 12:58:13

I stopped smoking 33 years ago, never sunbathed, but wish my teeth were more attractive.

I would have:

Spent more time with my Mum and Dad
Saved some money when I could afford to
Learned a skill of some kind

threexnanny Thu 27-Feb-20 14:41:31

Since starting the family tree I wish I'd thought of all the questions I now want the answers to before the previous generation died.

Greymar Thu 27-Feb-20 14:42:44

Realised I wasn't responsibly for my mother earlier.

rosenoir Thu 27-Feb-20 14:44:04

Same here b1zzle,and I would have had a private pension.

Curlywhirly Thu 27-Feb-20 14:58:34

threexnanny me too! I have been tracing my family tree for about 5 years now, but it would have been much easier if I had asked my grandparents and my Mum some questions whilst they were still alive. My paternal grandmother was born in 1902 in the town I was born in (and I still live); according to my research, she was born in one of the poorest slum areas right in the town centre - lots of Irish immigrants came to our town during the potato famine, as there were lots of industries and plenty of jobs. But their living conditions were dreadful, and my Nannie (though not Irish) lived amongst them. It's a wonder anyone survived in such insanitary conditions, but she was a really tough woman, who scared me to death! Would certainly loved to have heard how she managed and what our town was like.

tinaf1 Thu 27-Feb-20 15:46:33

I too have done a family tree and wished I could have asked more questions from relatives, but I also found that my parents & grandparents generations weren’t very forthcoming with a information, especially if it was something they didn’t want you to know.
I can remember asking one of my late aunts something and all I got was oh that’s what it was like in those days 😟
Back to the op’s topic which I had learnt how to swim and play a musical instrument when I was younger

tinaf1 Thu 27-Feb-20 15:47:12

Wish not which

Billybob4491 Thu 27-Feb-20 16:08:59

I wished I had told my dad I loved him when he was alive.

Ellianne Thu 27-Feb-20 16:26:56

I'd have chosen the career I wanted, not the one my mother forced on me so she could show off.

Chestnut Thu 27-Feb-20 16:56:50

threexnanny Since starting the family tree I wish I'd thought of all the questions I now want the answers to before the previous generation died.
I think that pretty much applies to most people whether they did their tree or not. There are always things that pop up and you wonder.....but the only person who could tell you is deceased. I remember my father saying that about his aunt back in the 1990s, he wished she was still around. She died in the 1960s. It's infuriating.

BlueSky Thu 27-Feb-20 17:31:42

Got married so young if at all!

Jomarie Thu 27-Feb-20 17:44:47

BlueSky that made me smile - top of my list too,which unfortunately is too long to type up here, plus most of my wishes have been covered by others already - ah well !! grin

FlyingSolo Thu 27-Feb-20 19:10:54

I would have done everything different, made completely different choices about most things. I regret almost everything except that we got the chance to say bye (or see you later) to dad at the hospital.

GrandmaMoira Thu 27-Feb-20 19:14:19

I could list lots of things but one of the key things is that I wish I had learnt to drive. I've had two people recently telling me I could still learn but think that at nearly 70 and developing cataracts, I've left it too late.

eazybee Thu 27-Feb-20 19:20:25

Gone for the risky career, but then you couldn't train later in life for something sensible if it failed.

BradfordLass73 Thu 27-Feb-20 19:30:44

Ellianne Me too.

However, to be fair, it's given me some good skills. I doubt if I'd have become a published author/journalist/write without my secretarial experience. So not all bad.

Perhaps the only other thing is: I wish I'd stood up to my parents and had the lovely wedding we wanted, instead of the hole-in-the-corner Registry Office affair they forced on us.

Yes, I know the old saw, 'no one forces us, we all have choices' but if you're too browbeaten to make those choioces, then they don't exist.

tinaf1 Thu 27-Feb-20 20:32:07

Wanted to be a hairdresser, but ended up doing office work better pay , hairdressing in 60’s long apprenticeship and low pay, and like most families those days every wage was needed.

Marydoll Thu 27-Feb-20 20:39:20

I was a goody two shoes at my strict convent school, too frightened to do anything wrong, in case I got into trouble with the nuns or my scary mother.

My friends broke all the rules;
*Wore make up to school
*Didn't wear their school hats in town. (Members of the public would phone to alert the school)
*Sneaked into town at lunchtime and free periods to buy make up from Woolworths
*Left before the bell
*Wore coloured tights, instead of American tan 😱
*Had a trendy bag instead of a briefcase
*Rolled up their skirts to turn them into mini skirts.
*And worst of all, at home time walked along the same side of the road as the boys from the Academy across the road and then CHATTED to them at the town Cross.

...and what happened to them, absolutely nothing, they didn't experience eternal damnation, weren't given a punishment exercise, get barred from applying for university, given detention or expelled or grounded by their mother, all the things I was threatened with!
Hindsight is a great thing. They all went on to become, doctors, lawyers, scientists, despite them breaking all the school rules.

I became the exact opposite when I started teaching, I was a rebel. wink

PamGeo Thu 27-Feb-20 20:49:43

I'd know I knew what was best for myself

I'd know that the world is a massive place so I'd best get on with taking a look at it

I'd also buy shares in apple when Bill Gates was just started out

GagaJo Thu 27-Feb-20 20:57:28

Ended ALL my relationships at the 2 year point.

Insisted on buying the family house I wanted.

Not left ex husband in the family house when we split up.

Put 'it' about and had more fun.

Bridie22 Fri 28-Feb-20 00:51:17

I would have looked after my own sanity more and not been a people pleaser,

Applegran Fri 28-Feb-20 10:06:13

I'd have realised I could tell someone - maybe my mum - that I was being bullied verbally at school. I now realise that the bully was suffering too. If I'd spoken it could have helped us both, but it never occurred to me. How can we help children to speak up about what is worrying or hurting them?

polnan Fri 28-Feb-20 10:06:39

what is the point of wishing I had? if I think of it, it just makes me sad.