Gransnet forums


How old were you when your parents died

(135 Posts)
TrendyNannie6 Sun 01-Mar-20 15:18:59

I was 46.when my mum died she passed away first and 12 years later my dad died, I was 58, I was very close to both of them, had a happy childhood,Miss them every day, Although brought up quite strict looking back I am so glad I was,

mumofmadboys Sun 01-Mar-20 15:24:52

54 when Dad died and 56 when Mum died

GrannySomerset Sun 01-Mar-20 15:25:14

My father died when I was four, having been ill and in hospital for over a year. My only memory of him is being made to leave the table for not behaving properly. Very sad. I was sixteen when my mother died very suddenly, turning my life upside down and my future not at all what had been planned or anticipated.

Over fifty sixty years on I still think of my mother to whom I was very close. I was lucky to have very good friends and to have married the best of men, so although different my life was certainly not a disaster. Sometimes terrible things can be the making of us.

BlueBelle Sun 01-Mar-20 15:25:24

I was lucky my mum and dad lived to 90 and 92 but both died the same year A huge shock to me Dad had been well up to a few weeks before dying Mum had the last seven to ten years with Alzheimer’s so a very very difficult end
So in answer to your question I was about 67 but probably about 57 when I lost the mum I knew bless her

anniezzz09 Sun 01-Mar-20 15:30:14

Seven when my father died, twenty three when my mother died. Parentless nearly all my life with huge implications. Makes me determined to be there for my children as long as I possibly can be.

SirChenjin Sun 01-Mar-20 15:30:21

Dad died a couple of weeks ago - I’m almost 51. Mum died 8 years ago when I was almost 43. I feel like I’ve lost them both at quite a young age compared to my friends - I hope this doesn’t determine when I die sad

Calendargirl Sun 01-Mar-20 15:31:13

19 when Dad died, he collapsed one morning with a heart attack. Huge shock, first funeral I had ever attended.
51 when Mum died. She was 92, had enjoyed a long, simple but fairly happy and healthy life. Had been a widow much longer than a wife.
Dad never saw me married, or any grandchildren, but Mum lived to be a great grandma.
Good parents, always missed.

SueDonim Sun 01-Mar-20 15:37:05

Dad died after a short illness when I was 43 and he was nearing 92. My mum has outlived him as she is herself 92yo and still in her own home with no help except for a weekly cleaner.

It’s nearly 50 years since I left home so I can’t truthfully say I miss my dad now. I have fond memories, of course. His own parents died when he was 4/10 years old and so there is a gap in family lore which has become larger to me as the years go by.

jura2 Sun 01-Mar-20 15:39:53

58- both died within months of each other (aged 96 and 94)

paddyanne Sun 01-Mar-20 15:41:44

My Dad died 6 weeks before my 40th birthday .He went for fish for his and mums dinner and died in the high street ,Mum never really came to terms with him "leaving her" she cut herself off from the world and only wanted my sisters and I .Even my little GS wasn't welcome and she thought I shouldn't be helping out with him ,just looking after her .
Mum died 12 and a half years later she had never been a healthy woman always had breathing issues from when she was a girl and steroids were prescibed long term.They caused a lot of other health issues including osteoperosis and eventual heart falure .I was with her right until her last breath .I dont miss her in the same way I miss my dad ,maybe because I never got to say goodbye to him

GrandmaMoira Sun 01-Mar-20 15:51:48

I was 28 when my mother died and 50 when my father died. I felt my father dying at 80 was in the normal way of things but my mother was still in her 50s and did not get to retirement or to enjoy her grandchildren, none of whom knew her.

TerriBull Sun 01-Mar-20 16:06:38

I was 47 when my dad died, he was late 70s, almost 80 but had a lot of health issues, type 1 Diabetes, Rheumatoid Arthritis, I believe he actually died from Peritonitis. We had a difficult relationship he was very irascible and a somewhat over zealous catholic who never really came to terms with my divorce. My mother died when I was 55 eight years later, I treasure those one to one years we had together when she was a widow, I couldn't have asked for a better mother. The last day I saw her we'd just returned from Canada, I was really tired and nearly put off that final day together, so glad I didn't she died the next day of heart failure.

Some people have such a good innings in comparison to others, luck of the draw I guess. Another sad day that resonated with me was when I accompanied my husband round the M 25 to tell my late father in law, my step son had died suddenly, this was something my husband felt he couldn't convey to his father over the phone as he was quite deaf and wouldn't wear his hearing aids, (stubborn) Couldn't help thinking why??? A wonderful young man, husband and father drops dead, from a condition he didn't know he had and a fairly difficult and quite selfish 90 something still going strong sad

BlueSky Sun 01-Mar-20 16:13:58

32 when my dad died and 35 with mum, they had married late in life but were really only 65 and 75, which I thought was still relatively young. They seem very young now I'm 70!

Cherrytree59 Sun 01-Mar-20 16:18:23

I was 29, my sister just turned 21 when our 54 year old mother died.
Strange feeling knowing that I am now 'older' than mother

I was seven days off 56 when my father died at 84yrs.

Ninarosa Sun 01-Mar-20 16:23:25

Yes, death is certainly a most random business. My lovely Mam lived to be fifty eight having had cardio vascular disease from her forties, I was eighteen and just getting to know her really. Dad lived to be eighty five but was lost to me since I was a youngster, having been a philanderer of the first order.
I often wonder why he wept buckets at her funeral as he had a string of other women throughout their marriage.

Charleygirl5 Sun 01-Mar-20 16:26:09

Very early 30's- not long married. Mum died first and dad 19 days later.

Curlywhirly Sun 01-Mar-20 16:29:23

Never really had a dad, he beggared off when I was a few weeks old (he died about 8 years ago aged I think about 90, not too sure of the details) my Mum died aged 68, I was 32. She had a really hard life and never really got over my dad leaving her with 3 small children.

HurdyGurdy Sun 01-Mar-20 16:33:03

13 when my dad died, aged 49

40 when my mum died, aged 79

Annie26 Sun 01-Mar-20 16:37:55

I was 34 when my Mum died and my Dad died 2 years later both in their sixties. As an only child with young children myself it wasn't an easy time. However they had a happy few years with their three Grandchildren.

Bellasnana Sun 01-Mar-20 16:41:56

Oh what a lot of sad stories. 😢

My father died aged 58 when I was 9 years old.

Mum lived until she was 92 and I was 55. She outlived one of her three daughters, my sister was 54 and mum 87 at the time.

rafichagran Sun 01-Mar-20 16:45:13

In my early thirties.

JuliaM Sun 01-Mar-20 16:55:07

I was 32 when my Mum passed away from Breast cancer, and still a teenager when she was first diagnosed. My Dad remarried within the same year, and l was heartbroken at the way he had replaced her so quickly, and expected me to be Ok about it. It was quite a few years until l spoke to him again, but if im honest, l never did forgive him for what he did, and neither did my Mums sisters. Hes still alive now, 92 this year and living in a care home, the step mother died two years ago, but l seldom had contact with either of them over the years.

Framilode Sun 01-Mar-20 17:10:25

I was 39 when my Dad died and 43 when my Mum went. They were both 70, which seems quite young now.

Ellianne Sun 01-Mar-20 17:12:55

I was 25 when both my mum and dad died in the same year. They never lived to see any grandchildren and I found that hard.

polyester57 Sun 01-Mar-20 17:21:45

I was 53 when my dad died, aged 80, and 60 when my mother followed, aged 88. My mother-in-law is still going strong at 90 and her eldest child, my SIL, is 68. I know a lady, who is herself 80 and in very poor health and her mother is 104, living in a home. Talk about the sandwich generation! It is at least a double decker. I was 43 when my grandmother died.