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'Coronavirus ' Husband won't hand wash ?

(47 Posts)
DeeDum Thu 05-Mar-20 11:03:33

I'm high risk and my son has Asthma,
I'm trying to carry on as normal, my problem is my husband he won't hand wash!
He often seems to do the opposite of advice ? I've noticed it before, since having diabetes he continues to eat what he likes etc
I've offered him anti bac hand wash while out but he refuses it? Says he doesn't need it? All a fuss about nothing and be gone in a week !
Surly his making our risk getting this virus higher ?
This seems unfair & is getting me down now..
am I over reacting?

chris8888 Thu 05-Mar-20 11:12:17

Sounds very immature, not hard to wash your hands is it. I would spray everything he touches in the house, see how he likes that. I wouldn`t let him near me either.

merlotgran Thu 05-Mar-20 11:13:07

No, you're not over reacting. It's passive aggressive behaviour and thoroughly selfish.

Try ignoring him though. My late father-in-law was the same about his diabetes. The whole family trod on eggshells around him which is the attention they crave.

Take extra precautions where you and your son are concerned and let your DH prepare his own meals if he wants to be difficult. He'll only have himself to blame if he makes himself ill.

Good Luck!

Elegran Thu 05-Mar-20 11:41:01

Daisymae Thu 05-Mar-20 11:43:26

No, you are not over reacting. Washing your hands makes good sense virus or not if you want to reduce your infection rate generally. He sounds so stubborn but you cant actually make him. I would just continue to offer him and remind him and dont react if he refuses. It does sound very childish, so I guess that you have to just rise above it.

humptydumpty Thu 05-Mar-20 11:52:02

elegran love your link!

Chestnut Thu 05-Mar-20 11:57:29

Apart from keeping your distance, spraying everything he touches (both of which will annoy him) just leave the TV on a news channel all the time (or at least put the news on whenever you can) because the constant barrage of virus information might make him realise it's serious.

Gaunt47 Thu 05-Mar-20 12:02:14

Me too! Just added the beaverton to my favourites. Who says north americans can't do irony - thanks elegran

Charleygirl5 Thu 05-Mar-20 12:26:16

If he is a diabetic does he not realise he could go blind by not following the prescribed foods? Sorry, but he is a fool.

By not handwashing appropriately he thinks he is a clever clogs instead of a fool.

Baggs Thu 05-Mar-20 12:36:04

I've offered him anti bac hand wash while out

This is the only instance given in the OP that the man refuses to wash his hands. It's possible to wash ones hands perfectly thoroughly enough without ever using anti-bacterial hand wash. Soap and water.

I'm wondering if the man doesn't wash his hands at all (in which case, yuck!) or if he just finds the current fad about anti-bac hand-wash tiresome*. If he washes his hands with soap and water after going to the loo, before preparing food, and after travelling on public transport, I'm not sure you need to worry.

* I hate hand gels. They are sticky so one's hands don't feel clean after using them. Because they are sticky they leave deposits on anything one touches thus increasing the likelihood, I feel, of germs sticking to those places as well, rather like having dirty, sweaty hands. They often contain perfumes too, which make me sneeze.

I'm sticking with good old fashioned soap and water. Can't be beaten.

Baggs Thu 05-Mar-20 12:36:29

Soap without perfume too!

joannapiano Thu 05-Mar-20 13:56:35

Well I hope this selfish man doesn’t live near us as DH and our son in law both have severely compromised immune systems at the moment due to their chemo treatment. Tell him from me,he is a moron.

M0nica Thu 05-Mar-20 15:03:08

Can you divide the house during this emergency? Set certain rooms aside for your DH's use and you and your son self-isolate in the rest of house.

Buy a small cheap microwave. Put that and a modicum of cooking /eating tools in his area and stop him using the kitchen. Use vast quantities of disinfectant in the bathroom. and do your own washing.

Men like this deserve no consideration.

Could you stay with friends or other family that share your problems during the crisis?

DoraMarr Thu 05-Mar-20 15:20:45

I don’t think you need to worry. Baggs is right. As long as your husband washes his hands when he gets home, after the loo, and before eating he is probably ok, and so are you. The only reason you will need hand gel is if you are eating while out and there are no washing facilities: I’ve used it on long train journeys, but soap and water are a better option.

TerriBull Thu 05-Mar-20 15:27:33

That is bad OP, I would be very angry. One of my sons called in yesterday evening, I told him it was no use doing a cursory hand wash he needed to be more thorough, in between the fingers, front and back of hands. He did a bit of an eye roll as I stood over him whilst he was doing it, muttering something along the lines of "I'm morphing back to a 5 years old" shock I don't care, my surfaces my rules! It's the first thing my husband and I do now as soon as we get in.

No you aren't over reacting, he's being very selfish, it's not much to ask either.

DeeDum Thu 05-Mar-20 16:57:59

Thanks for replies, I'm relieved it's not just me, and thinking in general you've summed him up well!
he seems to think his being clever. The dr adviced him to watch his weight especially since the diabetes but he ate more sweet stuff and has gained at least three stone
His just come in ( I said nowt) but noticed still no hand washing, just sat down and is eating biscuits, so his touching everything regardless even in the food cupboard, if I say anything he will slam around and sulk.
I'm beginning to really dislike him, to everyone outside our home especially online he's very different, it's only us that gets this attention seeking immature selfish idiot!!
This has opened my eyes to say the least ...
Thanks everyone Stay well xx

Chestnut Thu 05-Mar-20 17:01:58

Put the TV on the news channel!

SalsaQueen Thu 05-Mar-20 17:25:59

Baggs Absolutely spot on.

sodapop Thu 05-Mar-20 17:36:36

I would just ignore him DeeDum anything you say or do will only exacerbate this behaviour. Keep everything as clean as you can and continue with your own handwashing etc. Is it possible to talk to him about any of these problems, sounds like he is a scared child underneath all this risk taking.

Greymar Thu 05-Mar-20 18:00:22

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Greymar Thu 05-Mar-20 18:01:16

OOPS, nothing whatso ever to do with this thread......although perhaps there is a link?

Artdecogran Thu 05-Mar-20 18:04:30

Grey area what on earth is your post about?!

Artdecogran Thu 05-Mar-20 18:05:06

Auto correct grr. I meant greymar of course

Greymar Thu 05-Mar-20 18:28:10

I explained, sorry it was an error. It belongs on another thread.

I quite like Greyarea

annep1 Thu 05-Mar-20 18:36:11


You can depend on Gransnet for a laugh!

Sorry Deedum Your husband is being childish and selfish.