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Do you have housekeeping money?

(85 Posts)
millymouge Fri 06-Mar-20 17:32:27

Talking with some friends the other evening we were saying how our mothers used to have a set housekeeping amount. This was often given out by the man of the household and woe betide if you didn’t manage it to see you through the week. I can remember my FIL being really angry with MIL because she said he wasn’t giving her enough, he had no idea of the cost of anything. Several friends said that they thought that the way their mothers managed was marvellous. In many cases the man had his beer and cigarette money and the poor mum had nothing to fall back on. We all said we were sensible with our money but no one seemed to have a set amount handed out by their partner. How things have changed.

maddyone Fri 06-Mar-20 17:36:45

No, I don’t have, not ever have had housekeeping money. Most of our marriage I have worked, and our salaries have always gone into a joint account. When I didn’t work outside the home I had very small children and the same access to the joint account.

Daisymae Fri 06-Mar-20 17:36:55

My mum was sent to the factory gates to catch my grandad as he came out on Friday night. He would be straight up the pub if she didn't get the housekeeping there would be nothing left by the time he got home. That must be 100 years ago, literally!

Squiffy Fri 06-Mar-20 17:37:46

I remember, years ago, watching the series ‘Sam’ and the men (pitmen) would hand over their wages to the wives and the wives would give them a few coppers as their ‘spends’. I don’t think the wives had any ‘spends’! - well, not officially! wink

jura2 Fri 06-Mar-20 17:38:21

nope, never have.

Pittcity Fri 06-Mar-20 17:47:43

I have to give DH "pocket money" as he has no idea how to budget.

3dognight Fri 06-Mar-20 17:54:21

Well I do have old fashioned housekeeping money.
My husband puts a hundred quid in my purse on a Friday , it's not really enough to feed us, three huge dogs, buy our wine and cider, etc....but somehow we do manage. We eat three excellent meals a day, cooked from scratch, the dogs are in superb condition, and we get a glass of wine or cider with our evening meal. We cannot afford to go out, or eat out, and sometimes, well almost always, I only have a tenner left on a Monday morning. Having a set amount of money in cash concentrates the mind and nothing is wasted.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 06-Mar-20 17:57:32

No don’t have housekeeping money,

lemongrove Fri 06-Mar-20 17:59:28

No, the same as maddyone says.
Our parents generation was different, although some men handed over their pay packets to their wives and got their pocket money back, so that she dealt with all the rent/rates groceries etc.Many more didn’t, and a few drank away most of it.Hard times.☹️

harrigran Fri 06-Mar-20 18:08:10

Yes DH has given me an allowance for all of our married life. I do not have any income of my own so without it I would be destitute.

Maggiemaybe Fri 06-Mar-20 18:10:21

Good grief, no. We both have access to the joint account and always have had. I don't see how it would work in today's society anyway. I only use cash for charity collections and tips now that we can even pay contactless on the bus.

My dad used to hand over his pay packet every Friday as he walked through the door, lemongrove, and get his "pocket money" doled out to him. He was a miner, and I think that was the usual routine in the pits. It was entirely up to my mother what she did with the rest.

SalsaQueen Fri 06-Mar-20 18:14:27

I've never had housekeeping money (I'm 60, been married almost 40yrs). We've got a joint bank account, so both wages go into it. I do the shopping and have set up all the DirectDebits I get cash out when I need it - so does he, occasionally.

My mum had housekeeping money but didn't have a bank account.

J52 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:25:52

No. We have a joint account, but I have always had my own account that my own salary went into.

Oldwoman70 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:33:32

Always had a joint bank account - even if there wasn't much in it!

Some years ago I worked with a woman (in her 20s) whose husband would give her a set amount every morning with which to buy something for the evening meal and any household items needed - if anything was left over she could use it to buy herself lunch! It got to the point that the rest of us in the office would take it in turns to "accidentally" buy too much lunch and share it with her. Not a situation I could have lived with.

Gaunt47 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:34:39

My dear old Mum had to keep a notebook in which to note all household expenditure, then Dad would write down what he'd spent and at the end of the week he added it up. In the early 50s Mum got fed up with this and started taking part time jobs for pin money. She worked her way up to a full time career and divorced my Dad!

Callistemon Fri 06-Mar-20 18:35:59

However, years ago before everyone had bank accounts, the Forces used to make an 'allotment' out of servicemen's pay for the wives, which was in the form of a Post Office book, like the old Child Benefit book.
It ensured that there was a steady weekly amount for the wives and children if the serviceman was overseas.

We had a joint account but not everyone did
I also had my own!

FlexibleFriend Fri 06-Mar-20 18:39:21

I never have, we had our salaries paid into a joint account and did the shopping together. These days all the money is mine.
I think my dad handed over pretty much everything, just keeping a bit for petrol and tobacco etc. I think mum held the purse strings.

GracesGranMK3 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:46:36

It's really all down to the changes toward equality. If you think that it wasn't until 1975 and the Sex Discrimination Act that a British woman could open a bank account in her own name it's easy to see why now, when both partners earn, have their own bank account and work out how they split the bills between them we have moved on to happier times.

Purplepixie Fri 06-Mar-20 18:57:26

My mam was always in charge of all the finances when I grew up. My dad always handed her his unopened pay packet. He was given his pocket money. Both my DH and myself have our own wages and the bills are paid between us. Thank goodness those days are gone.

Calendargirl Fri 06-Mar-20 19:07:25


Your post confused me. I opened a current account in my own name when I started work in 1969. Do you mean married women couldn’t until 1975?

Witzend Fri 06-Mar-20 19:09:40

No, our money has always been joint.
My own parents were the same.
However my mother (b. 1918) had a good friend the same age, who was always given her housekeeping money in cash, never paid a bill, never even wrote a cheque, and was consequently rather thrown in the deep end after her husband died.

Funny thing was, she’d had a good, responsible job before marriage/children, so it’s not as if she wasn’t capable. I don’t think her husband was at all a control freak type, either.

My mother could never understand the mentality at all.

Shrub Fri 06-Mar-20 19:10:25

I didn’t realise how modern my parents were! They had a joint account and my mother had her own cheque book. My husband and I did the same.

Greyduster Fri 06-Mar-20 19:13:02

That brings back memories Callistemon! I’d forgotten about that.

Witzend Fri 06-Mar-20 19:15:50

BTW I had my own current a/c from 1967 until just after I got married several years later.
When I informed the bank of my change of name, they insisted on knowing my husband’s full name, and his occupation.

I was sufficiently annoyed to close the account, and have myself added to dh’s a/c, with a different bank. We’ve had a joint a/c ever since.

threexnanny Fri 06-Mar-20 19:16:09

I was wondering too CALENDARGIRL. I'm certain I had one in 1971/2.