Will you leave a letter?

My grandmother wrote separate letters to her 3 children and one to all of her grandchildren together telling us how much we and our children meant to her, as the eldest I am honoured to have the original but my siblings and cousins all have a copy which we still treasure greatly more than 30 years on.

I write a joint letter to my three grandsons every January, just telling them of the events of the previous year, I also enclose a photo of my husband and I, my grandsons are quite young and I hope by doing this we will be remembered, I have also written letters to my sons.

I had never thought of that, but yes, i think it's a good idea and I will probably do it now.

Having read all the posts I understand saying how you feel now but having lost my father at 21 I would have liked a letter from him something to look at now and then just to feel a physical link with him to hold a handwritten note would mean the world to me

Carrie Ann,

Yes something similar happened to me. My dad died many years ago. When my mother died, I began to investigate my family in case there were any long lost cousins about. I discovered 2 half siblings....older than me from a previous relationship. We all look alike and get on so well. It had all been kept a dark secret all these years. Neither of my parents left any hint or explanation. I felt that I didn’t really know them at all. I intend to leave letters to my children and my husband....if lovingly expressed they may be a comfort.

I think it depends on the circumstances. I shall shortly be having surgery, and on the off chance that something goes wrong and I don't come home again, I have written a letter to DH with mainly practical instructions about banking (my province) etc and a few private remarks.

Another letter to DD, as I know she will break her heart and I would prefer her not to. (To put it mildly!)

My maternal grandmother wrote a diary for my aunt and mother explaining precisely why she had not wanted further treatment for her cancer. It helped them greatly.

I've written mine already as I would have loved one from my mum and dad.
I tell my AC all the time how much I love them and how proud of them I am, so the letters are just for comfort really.
Everything regarding my death is taken care of and paid for, which I'm sure will be appreciated by them.

Yes, I will be doing that when the time comes and hopefully I will be able to, I tell my AC how much I love them anyway and my DH

In a word no!

Something I have thought about for years but have never got around to writing, apart from in my head!
Must seriously consider soon, tempus fugit and I am rapidly approaching 80!

I have done a letter for my DD to open if me and her DF were to die. It starts off by saying “I have probably been dead for 48hrs now if you are going through my stuff?
It tells her all my bank passwords, premium bond info etc and where to find the wills.
It doesn’t say anything profound, I am not that sort. A very practical family!!

My mother is 96 years old and in a Health Care facility in California. I live in Seattle, Washington with my DH. I call her every day and we talk for about an hour. We always tell each other that love each other at the end of the phone call. My husband and I also fly down for a one week visit about every 6-8 weeks. I visit her daily from about 11:30 AM to 5:30 PM. We talk about everything from worldwide, state, and local news to our political opinions. I also regularly tell our grandchildren and other relatives how much we love them.

My Mum died 10 years ago. I would have loved to have a letter from her, but it has never occurred to me since this thread.
My own hand writing is like hers, and I always think of her when I notice it. Other times as well of course.

I think I will write to my family individually, but only if I get prior warning of my demise. I couldn’t face doing it when I’m fit and well.

As to what I’d say, most importantly, look after each other.

For me absolutely not. I once witnessed the hurt caused by letters left behind. You can't question the person and so are just left with sometimes painful stuff to deal with. Not all people are kind and caring.

Coming from a slightly different angle.......would you leave a note naming people that you do not want, for various reasons, good or bad, to come to your funeral? I have!

Yes, I've always thought this was a good idea and would make sure they are positive.

I'd written a short letter for my son last year when I was off on the first of three trips almost back-to-back, giving bank account details and energy providers - with everything being online now I'm sure he wouldn't know where to start. My Dad had done a very practical list for me in the same circumstances, gave it to me a couple of years before he died, knowing I'd be able to sort things for Mum. I added a line or two, quite personal, fairly lighthearted. I wanted to make sure if anything had happened in the midst of crisis and drama he had practical stuff at his fingertips.

I’ll be writing one for the Grandson I’ll never be allowed to meet.
My other grandchildren will, I’m sure, tell him lots about me, but I want him to hear from me personally how very much loved he is

Unlike those of you who are on good terms with your loved ones, I am planning to leave a letter for my daughters who haven't spoken to me for 10 years, when they cut me dead at my mum's funeral and who haven't told me that I have a GS. If they want anything from my estate, they have to build bridges with their half brother.

I'm leaving a box of photos of grandparents and relatives with their names written on the back so that my grandsons can see who was who on the family tree.

I've kept a diary since 2002 listing the major events in my life. This, I'm sorry to say, despite always being close, as I thought, includes my daughter's decision to ask her stepfather to give her away at her first marriage, rather than me. I was broken hearted and humiliated. Since then our relationship has been entirely broken. My diary will go to her sons so they can understand that it wasn't my choice to remain distant from them.

I’m very tempted to leave a letter to my estranged son, the thought of never speaking to him again, breaks my heart.

Yes I will ...my mum passed away 2 years ago and left me a beautiful note just saying how much she loved me and that she would alway be beside me ...it was so comforting....I will do the same for my two boys .

No I don't see the point - and find it rather creepy too!

That’s lovely witzend.

Please do. Mum died at Christmas and she didn’t leave formal letters, but little notes all over the place which we found as we were clearing g her house, eg: no nonsense, throw away anything you don’t want. I’ve had a wonderful life and love you all..’ etc. It meant such a lot at a time you long to hear from them just one more time. I have made a book for mine, where a I wrote all sorts of things that I hope will mean a lot in the future.