How do I tell them/

Maybe you are worrying unnecessary because if it carries on we will all go into lock down and have to self isolate. So they wouldn't be able to go to work. Carry on as normal washing hands, many are vulnerable like yourself, so we are all in this together.

May be have a word, asking if they have a contingency plan in place for childcare in case the children (or you) are in contact with the coronavirus but I don't think just because they have snotty noses makes it more likely they'll give it to you, you are probably more likely to pick it up from someone already affected coughing over the supermarket trolley that you use after them or a door handle etc

Sometimes our sons and daughters can be somewhat tunnelled vision . Not sure we can always assume we’re on their priorities list really. I think as your very very worried that you should have a chat with your gp and ask him or her what their opinion is. I’m sure they will say put yourself and hubby first on this one. You’ll feel better once you hear GP’s view. Then you can say to parents that you spoke with GP. He is of the view blah blah blah blah. They need to know ASAP so bite the bullet. There will be something going off through school like parents collecting and rakinn ngh g each other’s kids to from school. They need to know so that they can put their feelers out. Is it possible for one parent to work from home. Get cracking . You sound amazing. My DIL hates me and won’t let me see or have my granddaughters. My hearts broken.

I'm sure they would understand but! Your house, your rules!!!!
Encourage the children to wash their hands on arrival and after touching their faces, using the toilet, before touching food! It's basic common sense and their parents should really take the responsible route and not leave basic hygiene education to others!

Better for them to be without you for two weeks than a possible life time
Talk to them

I doubt very much that it will ever get to the way it is in Italy. They have admitted that they did not put safeguards in place. Our country is working well towards keeping it under control. Remember...flu kills thousands every year. Nobody worries about that. Maybe if more people washed their hands properly lives will be saved there.

We could all die at any time, and children understand far better than most adults. As was written in today’s paper ‘If a 93-year-old woman (our Queen) was comfortable going to the service in Westminster Abbey, that’s a signal to all of us just to keep going.’

Maybe suggest they read all of the above... or rather just tell them your concerns !

I share Grandmaclampet's concerns. I'm in my late 60s and in very good health, but my husband is a few years older, has some breathing problems, and always catches more things and takes longer to recover from them than I do, so I worry about him contracting it.
Little grandson normally comes here once a week with his daddy. He's gorgeous, but he's in his first year at school, and of course gets all the coldy things small children do, and naturally passes them on. His slight sniffle on Christmas Day translated into my husband going down with a bad cold for a fortnight! I don't want to tell them not to come on their weekly visit, but we know there've been several cases of The Virus in our city, and I don't want to put my husband at risk.

There are thousands of people thinking the same looking after their grandchildren: we are both classed as high risk, and we know that our DD and SIL wouldn’t expect us to carry on looking after our grandchildren

I think as grandparents we need to keep this in perspective Granmaclampet. We are not indispensable and if we were ill or dead our children would have to seek other arrangements for their children’s care. It is not us or nothing and if we were not available then other arrangements could be made.
It seems likely that the Corona virus will get worse so for many of us elderly, vulnerable people it is a situation which needs to be planned for and conversations had. Our children who rely on us for childcare are really lucky as it is an easy , and cheap option for childcare but there are other ways.

I live in France and normally visit my son and family once a month also in France, which I did in February. Unfortunately there was an outbreak in his area that weekend and since my return , by train , he has contacted me every few days to make sure I'm ok , which I happily am!
His concern is greatly appreciated as I know he would be devastated if it was otherwise.
However I won't be visiting for a while now.

Rather than thinking of this as a 'How do I tell them?' situation, I think this is more of a strategy planning issue. I'm sure the children's parents are having to consider wider strategies anyway on a just in case basis. Surely, whenever children are regularly cared for by family member, there is a contingency plan in place?

We are in a similar situation. My husband has serious health problems. Although I have none I have just been in hospital with pneumonia. Son and family are keeping away as they believe I am infectious and have a newborn plus 3
year and 18m old children. So far we are the main carers of our two grandchildren but they are on paternity/maternity leave so my recovery had not impacted on what they want from us.

Two points:
1. We have experienced the expectations for child care as excessive but hard to resist. I imagine there will be anxiety about disappointing your family and meeting your own needs.
2. It seems children are not getting covid-19. They are notorious for spreading respiratory illnesses; they may have the virus without being ill but pass it on. Source = CNN news.

Many tell me to stand up to my son but I do understand just how hard this. Good luck.

GrannyLaine - our son has no contingency plans at all despite our attempts to persuade him to have one.

Probably realistic to assume that it's in all our towns by now...
Could one or other of the parents work from home?

I didn't know that children could be infectious without having the virus themselves.

Dear Grandmaclampet you should not have to tell them, they should do it out of respect for you. Both my children have to work along side their partners and one thing you have to remember your grandchildren are not your responsibility they are THEIRS. I too have children and help in an emergency only or arranged one off babysitting. Children today expect their parents to take on their responsibilities to their children and it is wrong, grandparents are more and more made to feel guilty so do it. I have wonderful relationships with all 4 grandsons, ages range from 2 to 6 years, I feel because I spend quality time with them, not time because i have too. My children have used trusted childminders and nursery with absolute no problems. The grandsons have enjoyed playing with other children. If you are in poor health and find it too much your children should look for alternate child care.

Let me first say that I understand both your concern and guilt but there has been so much hype and hysteria about this virus it has got people into a real tizz that perspective is being a little lost.

Let's put things into context. Covid-19 is not the bubonic plague, ebola or anthrax. It is a new strain of flu. Each year the W.H.O. literally makes a best guess at which flu strains will be prevalent and advises the vaccine manufacturers to make up the vaccines accordingly. So contrary to popular belief the yearly flu vaccine does not protect against every strain of flu therefore even in the normal course of events you could become infected by a strain not included in the vaccine and become seriously ill or worse. This is exactly the same as covid-19, it is simply a strain of flu, like the others not included in the vaccine you had in 2019. All strains of flu have the potential to kill and sadly thousands fall victim to it every year, remember the shocking scenes on TV and reports in the media last year of ambulances queuing to get into hospitals and beds in corridors and the NHS falling apart because of a unexpected sharp rise in winter flu cases?

Children are little germ factories and could theoretically pass on to you any number of other viruses that could make you gravely ill with you and your husband's underlying health conditions and not just covid-19. We don't have natural immunity to every single virus.

So moving forward I would firstly recommend ensuring that your pneumonia vaccine is up to date because this is the real danger of covid-19 for people with underlying conditions, The vast majority of fatalities have been caused by respiratory distress eg pneumonia.

Secondly I would make sure the children wash their hands upon arrival. Make it the very first thing they do and sing one of the 20 second songs to make sure the hand washing is done properly and fun. You could also pop some antibac spray on their hands too. Teach them to cough or sneeze into a tissue or arm and to throw tissue away and wash hands immediately. If they are too young to wipe their own noses then don a pair of latex gloves when you wipe it for them, bin the gloves and wash hands.

To be honest if you are looking after small children and have compromised health then you should be doing this anyway regardless of the existence of covid-19 because as you quite rightly said, children carry all sorts of germs.

If you are looking after the children so the parents don't have to be burdened with the full cost of childcare and you really don't feel comfortable having them if covid-19 crops up in your area then to ease your guilt would it be possible to help pay towards a childminder for the duration? I think it is a conversation that you need to have with the parents sooner rather than later and a plan B worked out for the children's care not least because what happens if you become ill or hospitalised at some point due to one of your existing conditions? Knowing there is a plan B already worked out would relieve a lot of stress and guilt on both sides at a time when you could do without it.

Good wishes to you and your family in whatever you decide to do.

My son is a consultant surgeon and is very worried about us getting this virus - we are in the vulnerable age group with some other health problems. He has said we should restrict all meetings and visits. If possible to get food delivered. His hospital has ramped up the preparations for an influx of patients but as in Italy, it will be only those who have a good chance of recovery that will get an itu bed. Those under 65. Others will be left to their own devices. So all in all - could be pretty grim for oldies.

I'm 79, I suffer from asthma, diabetes and hypertension. I am fit and all my conditions are under control. Life is going to kill me at some point. I can't be expected to worry about a virus. I'm not stupid and won't take risks but my life will carry on as normal for as long as it is.

The complacent posts make me despair. Listen to the chief medical officer and the doctors. This is not comparable to flu because the context is different - it may be comparable to flu in future years but not now. It is entirely new to humans there is no immunity. When it reaches large numbers it becomes a major public health issue. The estimate is that 10% of those infected will be sick enough to need hospital treatment. Of those, if treated, few die and mainly elderly with other conditions, but not solely - medical staff are especially at risk because they are likely to get a bigger dose of virus. If those hospitalised are a large group, emergency services are paralysed and other routine critical illnesses (heart attacks, strokes) won’t get treatment. Each new unexpected case (ie those that don’t come through 111) lead to several medical staff self isolating, reducing the personnel in the hospitals. We owe it to the community to slow the infection rates down so that we can cope. Grrrrr

Our daughter, son-in-law and baby grandson have booked to fly over here from New York on Good Friday and stay for a week. We are desperate to see them, as we haven’t seen the baby in the flesh since he was 3 weeks old and he is 9months now.
However, I was quite ill for 3months from mid-December with a nasty chest infection, which I think may have been pneumonia and am still feeling quite frail. I have had 3 lots of antibiotics and one course of steroids, so my immune system is very low. As I am also asthmatic and have atrial fibrillation, if I caught the virus it could finish me off! My husband was ill first and passed it on to me, but he doesn’t have any underlying health problems and has recovered completely.
We would love to see them, but I think the risk could be too great. They could easily pick up something on the plane, or already be incubating the illness when they arrive, without having any symptoms and pass it on to us. As my son-in-law said, the airlines are reducing their prices as people are afraid to fly, so if they booked their flight for later in the year they could save money.
I think our only option is to postpone their visit for the moment, even though we would love to see our grandson in the flesh before he gets much older.
What do other Gransnetters think we should do?

Granmaclampit ... what did you mean about having a sense of humour?
Is the op a wind up?

Arrange other care of course but please don't tell them it could kill you! I know we older people are more vulnerable, but I would do anything rather than frighten my grandchildren into thinking that I might die soon. Time enough for that unhappiness when the day does come.

Hopefully the gesture/consideration will come from your children rather than being instigated by you. I've no doubt they will be aware of the consequences both emotional and practical of not having you long term rather than short should the latter prove necessary. Try not to worry but stay alert to what's going on in your area. Good luck (to all of us)