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How do I tell them/

(142 Posts)
Grandmaclampet Tue 10-Mar-20 20:00:54

Both my husband and I are in our late 60s with heart and lung problems. We look after our two young grandchildren a few days a week because their parents work. I am worried for our health if the coronavirus reaches our town because the kids are always sneezing, rubbing grimy hands everwhere etc. They may get the virus but show no symptoms yet pass it on to us and in our health it could kill us both. How do I tell their parents that we can not look after them if the virus comes here?

giulia Sat 14-Mar-20 08:53:52

grandmaclampet So sorry you are in this embarrassing and painful situation.

I too am a grandma but in Italy. The Government and experts have both recommended that grandparents/children stay apart since the start of the crisis. I had been due to go to my daughter to babysit but she called me to prevent me going.

The stupid British government should be doing the same thing.

I've not seen my grandchildren for two weeks now and our only contact is Whatsapp. God bless Whatsapp!!

Liz46 Sat 14-Mar-20 09:36:07

I read this morning that many Italian grandparents have died from the virus after looking after their GC. The children are carriers but do not become as ill as older people.

My daughter can normally rely on me to help when she need it but she understands that I am vulnerable (age 73 with lung damage) and wouldn't dream of asking me for help at the moment.

giulia Sat 14-Mar-20 10:22:51

Liz46 Where did you read this?

giulia Sat 14-Mar-20 10:30:38

Liz46The official Death statistics for Italy this morning state the average age is between 80 - 89, of which 38% are women.

This is a rather high age for "grandparenting".

Nearly all, in fact, already had other illnesses.

Luckygirl Sat 14-Mar-20 11:39:08

I have still been picking GC up from school this week. They have to hand gel as soon as they arrive in the house. And I am not doing cuddling sad, and when I read them a book I do it from the other side of the room.

I do not think the risk here is huge as there is only one known case in this county as yet - and that was a doctor. But I am well aware that this will not last and will be taking decisions based on the figures here - my DDs know that I will back down from this if things get worse, and they are entirely understanding of that.

Chestnut Sat 14-Mar-20 12:10:07

The virus is not predictable enough to say with any confidence that only the over 80s are at high risk. Anyone over 60 is at high risk unless they are in tip top health and have super healthy lungs from extensive cycling, swimming or running. Even unhealthy people in their 40s and 50s have died.

GracesGranMK3 Sat 14-Mar-20 13:17:36

I know not everyone likes referencing where their "facts" come from but surely this is one case where the necessity is obvious.

Abnuyc123 Sun 15-Mar-20 00:30:09

You need to self isolate NOW and keep away from the grandchildren. My son has told us to do that, he’s a chemist.

GracesGranMK3 Sun 15-Mar-20 08:46:24

Some will have no choice shortly Grandmaclampet Matt Hancock saying on Sophy Ridge that the government will ask the over 70s to self-isolate for up to 4 months shortly. Surely your ACs will realise how important it is for you to do the same.

Lyndylou Sun 15-Mar-20 13:36:48

I seem to being doing everything back to front (story of my life!). I have been working from home for a week as someone in my building has suspected c-virus. I am 68 but OH is 72 and an ex-smoker so we are playing it safe. I am actually more concerned about my AC. DD has elderly clients and DS's girlfriend is in the early weeks of pregnancy. So I have told them to stay away for their own good and I already have not seen DGS for a week. I was looking forward to seeing them when I have had a clear week without any signs of the virus but I guess it could be longer now in case they bring it to us.

Daisydoes Sun 15-Mar-20 17:22:41

I am really stuck for what to do. We have granddaughter Friday to Saturday night every week. I take her to gym class on Friday afternoons and then stays with us.
Apart from the question of the gym class, DH has underlying health problems, so whether to have her or not is a big question --i would and let DH take his chances --?

Had it been a short (1month or so) period of isolation, I could cope.
But the neverending nature of this illness makes even thinking ahead difficult.

craftyone Sun 15-Mar-20 17:26:14

your AC will be well aware, they should have taken responsibility by now, for their children. You have to be firm, just tell them asap so they can make alternative arrangements. My AC have not had to be asked and it is sad tbh when AC don`t seem to care enough for vulnerable grandparents

Daisydoes Sun 15-Mar-20 17:38:01

@craftyone sorry, I did not make my post clear enough - my AC would be very proactive and caring. It is ME who would miss having my granddaughter overnight?

Very selfish, I know,but it still nips.

GramJo5 Mon 16-Mar-20 19:15:02

Has it been clearly said that we should not look after grandchildren any more? My 5 year granddaughter lives with me two days a week as I live much closer to her school. So I do the school runs and she sleeps-over. It is, of course,
a very special time for us both.

I am 69 years old, fit and live alone. I have cancelled all social activities and hunkered down, but have said I will continue to have her stay providing we are both well.
Have I got it wrong?

Tanjamaltija Fri 20-Mar-20 05:51:55

You aren't supposed to "need to tell them" - they ought to have been listening to the news, just as you have. You owe it to yourself to keep well - after all, if you get sick, there will be no more taking care of the children, ever. Don't pull your punches. Just tell them what you have to say.

Patsy70 Fri 20-Mar-20 06:32:31

I think we have been told loud and clear that if we are over 70 years old, or have underlying conditions (anything that would require us to have the annual 'flu jab) then we should isolate, as we are the most vunerable group. The schools are closed from today, those who can will work from home. Anyone with the symptoms of Coronavirus should self isolate for 7 days, and if they live with others, then they should all self isolate for a further 7 days.
Grandmaclampet, I do hope your children have made alternative arrangements.