Time for another great Gransnet story!

“But you’re not allowed to visit him at the moment, we’re in Lockdown! Or haven’t you heard? Who is your dad anyway? Why, it doesn’t matter if he’s an MP, or even if he was an MP once, you have to Stay at Home!!!!

Sobbing our hero collapsed into the nearest seat as the bus careered through the countryside. "I just wanted to visit my dad" she sobbed. "It's his 78th birthday today and I'd planned such a party. That's why I got these shoes."

decided to hijack the bus, using the climax of the Dirty Harry film as a template, hopefully without having to resort to any of the violence however.

But the driver was incensed about being called a numbskull and said "I aint taking no instructions from you Miss, and I'll thank you to kindly get off my bus this instant or we will sit here all day, Jimmy Choos or MB I don't care." He got out his pack of cheese sandwiches and began to eat them, laughing at his power. The other passengers began to mutter amongst themselves and

Either Downton Abbey or Belgravia, whichever is nearer.

shoved the copper off the bus and yelled at the driver "Drive, you numbskull and never mind Nether Wallop we're going to

"Arrest me then!" she laughed, "and if you do I will clobber you with my Manolo Blahnik in a very delicate place!" And with that she

‘They’re not Jimmy Choos, they’re Manolo Blahnik, anyone can see that” yelled the copper.
“I’m arresting you on suspicion of wearing stolen designer shoes, plus they don’t even fit properly”.

Leave my Jimmy choos alone they cost me a pretty penny I'll have you know.she shrieked at the copper.

“For heaven’s sake, you’re going to get us killed! Give him your damn handbag, it doesn’t even match those ridiculous shoes!

‘Your money or your life he demanded’ , this was no Dixon of Dock Green ! This was the phantom loo roll snatcher of Upper Wallop, failing loo rolls he is quite partial to money or jewels.
She picked up her haaaaaandbag and smacked him around the head’ im in no mood for this ‘ she yelled.
The bus driver turned to her and said.......

"I'm on the F***ing bus to Nether Wallop. My feet hurt. I need a manicure. My hair needs cutting and wouldn't mind having a facial. But everything is shut. I have no idea where my next loo roll is coming from" But even as she spoke the bus came to a stop and a masked policeman boarded it

hitch-hike on the back of Tinkerbell from Neverland, but she was in a foul mood and said

But surely Luton Airport has closed down its flights so how did you really waft in? Was it on a gossamer feather or a

discreetly eased her size 10 feet out of her size 9 Manolo Blahnik crimson stilettos. They had been 50% off in the sale, she couldn’t resist them, but, by heck, they did pinch her little toe!

Nether Wapping" So she hopped on board and hoped no one would notice that she was transgender. On the bus she fixed her make up and

"Where I bin waiting for ages for a plane to Alicante. But all that appeared was a number 9 bus going to....

“Have you been wafted here from Paradise?”

“Nah, Luton Airport!”

She found herself in a strange land.

'Forsooth Maiden,' said a voice, 'thou hast a strange countenance, from whence cometh thou?'

illuminate a 60 watt light bulb. That wasn't enough to fire up his electric car. Or his flashlight. so he could continue on his journey. Panic-stricken, he stumbled out into the darkness, where he was enshrouded in the evil-smelling gloom. Three paces he took, when suddenly

Power the tiny creature could grant him. It was only enough to...

Sorry wasnt quick enough back to Cherrychezzy

However as with all rulers power often coincides with greed so our Hero began to gather up all the ...

Yes, yes I will rule, I will rule roughshod over this scourge that is ravaging the peoples of this world. The sublime wisdom I have will find the cure but I will have the power to ...

“You don’t want much, do you? I said one small wish.”