Time for another great Gransnet story!

‘Centre Aisle’ thinking quickly our hero realised that this aisle held his favourite colognes and hair colouring, he knew that if his grey roots started to show the ladys wouldn’t be so keen to spend time with him.

However, Lidl was quite a long way away

....^Excuse me Sir perhaps Lidl would be more value for you today but you’ll have to be quick the centre aisle is selling out of special buys very fast^ ....

As he wasn’t in Woking he decided to go to Sainsburys and join the queue, hoping not to be recognised he waited in line, hunger was piercing his sole, so he took his shoes off.

Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder

Closed for the foreseeable future. Try the Woking pizza place.

immediately threw into the trash as ripe bananas were not his 'thing'. His had to be under-ripe. He was however feeling peckish so wandering down to his usual fish 'n chippy he was disappointed to find a sign on the window, saying.........

Harry intercepted the banana meant for Meghan as the monkey had not been wearing protective gloves or a mask as she had ordered; he sent it to his brother who ....

ran off to but some bananas on which he wrote "You are Loved"

sing "The Green Green Grass of Home", very badly, wriggled free of his shackles, stole the grinder's wallet and .........

He then turned to speak to his organ grinder Dom and tickled the monkey under his chin. The monkey not liking this action very much began to ......

Of 'The laughing policeman'.
Boy, he could make his organ sing!

He took the mouth organ, gave it a wipe with one of the jellied eels and gave a magnificent rendition of ...

.....,,Toilet rolls ? and ...

96 toilet rolls, some jellied eels, and his favourite triangular shaped mouth organ.

shopping bag, crammed full with...

Her twin sister!

He’s mine she cried, I saw him first, she flew at her sister, as she did so , he made a break for it and ran out of the door, trying not to trip over his big

Suddenly the door burst open with a sound of splintering wood. Outlined against the bight light was

Before he knew what was happening, she was upon him,

You are mine at last, she shrieked!

But-disaster- the handle came away in his hand! He was trapped!

Tragically he had put on his snow shoes, just before the snow melted, with no snow he now clomped around, all attempts at secrecy long forgotten he grasped the door handle and pulled..........

Tambourine, and singing a rather rousing rendition of "you can stand under my umbrella, eh eh eh eh" (and all that jazz)

He edged slowly back, his feet stumbling because his shoes were too big..

Slowly and purposefully walked towards him, waving her .....

As

"No-oo" he screamed but resistance was useless. The hypnosis was working and he began frantically washing his hands as the woman

One St Bernard repeatedly gestured to a gadget around its neck.”Press here” was inscribed. A dishevelled figure obeyed the instruction. Immediately the strains of “ Happy birthday “ duetted by Boris & Carrie offended the air waves... twice.

Well, she did not explain all and it was a cruel ruse to get him to ...