Gransnet forums


Another moan about husbands - sorry!

(157 Posts)
Luckylegs Mon 30-Mar-20 13:45:12

I do hope Grandad isn’t lurking to leap onto this thread but I really have to let off steam somehow. I’m in the vulnerable group and my husband is looking after me wonderfully but he’s driving me mad literally!

I made a shopping list and he’s been shopping but decided what he would get, not necessarily what I wanted! He’s now returned and obsessively taking everything out of their packets and rewrapping them in cling film! Biscuits! They’ll all go soft immediately! He insisted on going to Booths which is very expensive compared to Aldi and doesn’t have everything I wanted. I know, I know this is terrible of me moaning about it but he is driving me mad. Please tell me I’m not on my own and I won’t get told off?

merlotgran Mon 30-Mar-20 13:48:17

I'd be livid as well, Luckylegs

I haven't taken anything out of packaging. Surely if you keep washing your hands you are OK?

merlotgran Mon 30-Mar-20 13:49:03

Grab those biscuits and put them in a tin!

Bathsheba Mon 30-Mar-20 13:50:27

Well he's probably not wrong re removing the biscuits from the packaging. The virus can live for 72 hours on plastic. Much safer to remove them carefully and decant into anything airtight - a biscuit tin/barrel, or one of your own plastic bags with a twisty/clip.

have a look at this video which tells you how to safely deal with shopping brought in from outside

B9exchange Mon 30-Mar-20 13:53:33

You have my complete sympathy Luckylegs. And before Grandad leaps in, it is difficult for anyone out of their confort zone being asked to do tasks they are not used to, whether that is shopping, cleaning, washing, ironing, or anything else now required of them.

After a hysterectomy I had to ring up neighbours and plead with them to take DH out for a drink before I strangled him, and in these lockdown days even that isn't possible.

I find you have to be very explicit as to what you are actually asking them to do, don't ever assume common sense will prevail, because their idea of common sense may not be yours. And take yourself off to another room with an escapist book to wind down - or let off steam on here! grin

Luckylegs Mon 30-Mar-20 14:06:23

Oh thank you for your pleasant and human replies. It suddenly occurred to me that the ladies without husbands will also be up in arms. I do appreciate him, I do, it was our 51st wedding anniversary yesterday and I’d obviously be devastated if anything happened to him but I have no one and nowhere to let off steam apart from on here! He’s taking this opportunity, it seems to me, to relish shouting at me what I should be doing etc and it’s far better for both of us if he could only get out for a game of golf or something. God bless us!

lemongrove Mon 30-Mar-20 14:21:59

B9 haha 😄

Anyone remember The Fast Show, where a husband came back with the shopping, and the wife said ‘did you get all the things on the list’ and he beams happily ‘even better than that, dear!’ He says, and produces all sorts of odd things.
My DH is much the same.😁

Roses Mon 30-Mar-20 14:38:37

Lucky legs My husband died twenty years ago, but I can still remember how he drove me crazy when we were cooped up together
I really feel for you can you sit with some headphones on or go for a little lie down with a good book.

merlotgran Mon 30-Mar-20 14:42:44

I posted this on another thread but I think it's appropriate on here as well. grin

BlueSky Mon 30-Mar-20 14:48:28

Can't really complain about DH. He does little annoying things but I'm sure I do equally little annoying things myself. I had to laugh when another poster mentioned that they seem puzzled by the word 'Pots' on shopping lists and return without the much needed potatoes and I can relate. A sense of humour is needed at this trying time! grin

Teetime Mon 30-Mar-20 14:49:44

Love that merlotgran.

luckylegs it is difficult isn't it especially when you know he is trying hard but still managing to annoy you. My Dh is being very good so far keeping busy doing jobs banging on endlessly about exercise (he was an athlete and has always kept fit) and that he has put on a couple of pounds. Looks fine to me. Going to stuff a Hot Cross Bun in him now.

merlotgran Mon 30-Mar-20 14:54:23

The last time I asked DH to shop in Tesco while I popped into the watch repair place in the car park I went in to find him puzzling over the shopping list. He told me he couldn't find any Polish milk even though he'd been up and down the Eastern European aisle a dozen times.

I know his eyesight is poor but if he'd looked a bit closer he'd have seen I'd written polish, milk, etc., etc., grin

EllanVannin Mon 30-Mar-20 14:55:24

My dad was the one. Mum was laid up with a bad cold and the dreaded bronchitis that she used to get so sent dad to the shop for a " dolly blue " ( clothes whitener ) she'd stressed what she wanted and he returned with-- a packet of balloons !
Brother and I were delighted, after we'd stopped laughing. smile

LaRia44 Mon 30-Mar-20 14:56:31

He Shouts at you! You poor thing

Nonogran Mon 30-Mar-20 15:09:01

I wish our partners could stop behaving like a six year old! There's no "bless them" about it. Sorry but I find it highly irritating. Women weren't born knowing how to cook, clean, iron, care for kids, follow a list, contingency plan and all those other tasks we can't trust our other halves to do properly. We had to learn it. It's pathetic. I just wish that they'd "engage" and understand where Grandma is coming from. However, in mitigation, the other half who is being particular in the thread above about bringing shopping into the house clearly has a point regarding C19 on the groceries. I've found the video a later Gran posted, very helpful. Thank you.

BlueSky Mon 30-Mar-20 15:18:54

Merlotgran and EllanVannin grin

Davidhs Mon 30-Mar-20 16:33:46

Funnily enough I have the opposite problem in a small way.
For a couple of years I have been doing all the domestic activities, shopping, cooking, laundry and the rest, now I have a new partner she has gradually taken over, a shopping list gets expanded by at least 50%, the cupboards and freezer are full to overflowing - this was before C19.

Whatever I say makes no difference, it’s something I’m going to tolerate, as she tolerates my imperfections, it’s called “getting on”, why do women complain all the time?.

TerriBull Mon 30-Mar-20 16:41:58

Having read through the thread, I felt I should post a Misandry Officer alert.

He'll be along for sure, and for those not familiar, these sort of posts trigger a red mist descending on our very own finger wagging mansplainer. To his credit, he tries to internalise the red mist but sometimes triggered by the Sunday joints, and we ain't talking meat they simply can't be contained within, a bit like Mount Etna they have been known to bubble up deep from within and in really bad instances, usually triggered by one of Phoenix's Mr P threads, he has been known to explode out of through his peaked cap in a sort of ghastly "Incredible Hulk" moment shock Not for the faint hearted!

So be afraid, very afraid, because he can unleash hell!! Threats of sharing all the hate, bile and man hating posts through his Whatsapp group, laid bare for a couple of blokes he knows in Somerset for the wider world to see just how far down the misandry slope we are slipping here on GN

EllanVannin Mon 30-Mar-20 16:44:55

Get Real !!

NanaandGrampy Mon 30-Mar-20 16:46:45

Just as an aside to Nonogran , my daughter is taking this time at home with the little boys to add ‘life lessons’ to the educational agenda .

For the 5 year old this has involved how to stack a dishwasher properly and how to clean the bathroom so far ( both of which he enjoyed) and the 8 yr old has done budgeting for shopping ( going online and putting the right groceries in the trolley as per the list AND getting the best deal) and how to select the right programme on the washing machine!!

Brilliant idea in my opinion - they’ll make smashing husbands 😁

Davidhs Mon 30-Mar-20 17:25:52

Misandry, that’s a word I didn’t expect to see and I dont expect to see it often because women are perfect and men are always wrong.

sodapop Mon 30-Mar-20 17:39:11

Excellent idea N&G

SirChenjin Mon 30-Mar-20 17:42:09

Are the three men on here interchangeable, I wonder? hmm

Women are not ‘perfect all the time’ - don’t be silly. The clue to the subject of this thread is in the title David - and at nopoint has anyone on here claimed to be perfect. The fact that Lucky feels she has to apologise in case the Misandry Official appears is really worrying - I hope sincerely that it was a tongue in cheek apology.

Agree with everything you’ve said there Terribull

SirChenjin Mon 30-Mar-20 17:42:46

No point

Txquiltz Mon 30-Mar-20 17:43:59

Asking DH to do the shopping is a prescription for amazement. The list usually names some fish, a small amount of red meat, carrots, celery and a dozen eggs. Somehow he takes that to mean a red fish (like shrimp), a joint large enough to feed 8, potatoes ("I don't like carrots"),
2 onions, no eggs, and a large package of cookies. Since he is a diabetic and I'm constantly on a diet I have no clue who will eat the cookies.

At the end of the day, he tried and I placed a delivery order.🍪