Anyone else scared

@Franbern Thu 02-Apr-20 10:12:59
Thank you for your insightful and incisive post.
You make many good points.

When I realised that the media were hyping things beyond reason I stopped reading/watching/listening to any news media about COVID. 2 weeks clean of the media today!

I think you're right that this pandemic will have changed our lives quite profoundly by the time we're well out of it.
Economic and financial problems will be most prominent.

But I'm very hopeful that millions and millions will have actually experienced and perhaps enjoyed the slower pace of life and the community spirit which has burgeoned in so many places.

I'm hopeful that many people will not want to return to incredibly damaging long work/commute hours and the soul-destroying (and planet-destroying) pace of life that had been engendered by big business. Perhaps some will decide to earn their wages in their own communities doing less arduous jobs?

I'm hopeful that people enjoy the benefits of family time together and having the time, at least, to be in touch more with family and friends.

Perhaps many people might even have experienced that a simpler life is good without so much consumerism - fast foods, fashion, inane celeb culcha, keeping up with the Joneses!

I believe when we come through and the virus hopefully eradicated we will all be less selfish,greedy and hopefully care more for each other. I understand too how upsetting it is. My DH has been told by his GP to isolate as his immune system is compromised through health issues. I currently have my mother staying who will be 100 in June and is very upbeat about it all having been through the last war. We are now just over a week in isolation. Fortunately my local butcher has delivered meat and fresh veg. Our milkman who has never failed to deliver but only once wgen he arrived late evening to apologise as his mother died that day. He has delivered milk and eggs and a local garden centre has become very entrepreneurial and delivered fresh fruit n bread. We are fortunate thankful to those who are providing these kind of services. Also my elderly father who will also be 100 in June and who is currently in lockdown in a care home has a video call with my mother every other day which is great as we can’t visit at the moment. Keep well and be positive hopefully soon things will get better.

sparkynan, I thank you for what you do, for all the others key workers like you and for being the voice of 'sensible'. You have helped me to 'get a grip' for when it will be my turn to be on the rota for work at school.

I find it stressful and I am becoming very inefficient at shopping. I always get home and realise that there are things that I should have got, even though I go with a list. There is nothing you can do though. Deliveries are a lost cause except a few specialist shops and then it is pot luck. I signed up for one and then got a confirmation which was a bit confusing but looked like they were thanking me for a rolling subscription. I looked on Trustpilot and there was at least complaint about it so I wasn't alone in not seeing it. I had to cancel (it was very expensive but ok for a one off in extreme circumstances. Not something I could do every month.) It was only then that I realised that their website was total word salad and trying to follow their instructions to cancel was like being in a maze. The word cancel wasn't anywhere but you have to 'pause' your account. I had an email totally confirming it was cancelled and saying that they think their website is perfectly clear.
This was after getting text from the PO saying that my broadband was fixed. It was - for 5 minutes. I rang them and held on until they closed for the evening, listening to the worst on hold tape possible. It kept ringing as if I was about to be put through and had a variety of messages the most irritating of which was how important my call was to them.
Normally these were things that would just annoy me but it made me realise how close to the surface my nerves are now.
This morning I got straight through and they said that it went down because they were testing the line and to check it again so it is ok again. It wouldn't have been critical anyway as my neighbour let me use his.
I think most people are edgy and it is not unreasonable for you to feel nervous about going to the shops. I felt guilty when I went 4 days ago but you are obviously not going more than you have to and neither am I so there is nothing to be gained by worrying. I can't manage more than about 2 weeks because I can't carry that much in one go. When I got to the shop (a fairly large local independent) I was the only customer in there.
Just think how relieved you will be when you get back and have stocks in your cupboards.
My estate is like the start of one of those episodes of Outer Limits or the Twilight Zone where everything is creepily silent and if you do see anyone they are staring vacantly into space. Going out is definitely not relaxing although it is nice to get some fresh air.

For some time now I’ve been thinking that life will never be quite the same again - in the early hours my mind has been drawn to a snakes and ladder board, you sail along avoiding all the snakes, and climbing and climbing and you’re almost at the top - but oh no you get caught by that final snake that takes you way back. I worry about my children who have had their lives planned out because they could. All been to university, work hard, are successful and now pay cuts, furloughed, one is a professional singer so all his work cancelled for the foreseeable future. Another at home with her children but still expected to do a full time job, on less pay, and home school. They will get through it and doubtless be stronger for the experience. Some of their friends, maybe even them, will succumb, but they will work through that as well, the human spirit is truly resilient.

Do not worry about accessing GP care I have never been so looked after by my surgery. It is all over the telephone and if I need a blood test the local hospital is 2 minutes drive and they send me a form by the post. I can`t walk due to heart failure and just had my procedure put back. So the GPs have been wonderful.

Totally agree with Bluebell on this. I’m 63 fairly healthy and going to the supermarket and my walk each day and sticking to the rules. I like idea of the one way in supermarkets it helps that everyone is facing away from you apart from the few that find it difficult to grasp the idea.

That's awful Alioop

Not scared, but always alert. I was outside Waitrose well before it opened so that I was in when everything was at its cleanest and I was booted and suited, at least I was wearing both a mask and latex gloves. I noticd many more people dressed similarly this week than last, but we were all over 70 and Waitrose were making very clear than younger people shopping for older people could not us this time slot.

Except for this weekly shop I am not mixing with other people, so feel cautiously confident that while no-one can say they live in a virus free environment. People like us who are obeying the rules meticulously and limiting our time out of the house are as close to risk free as it is possible to be.

Tillybelle I am the same, but about my cat. I can’t bear the thought of her being thirsty and then eating me when her biscuits run out. Grim.
I have put a big bowl of biscuits down as well as water and phone or email my stepson just to tell him I am alive every day.
I don’t feel daft for feeling this way now but I did a bit at first.
Shelters are going to be busy for all kinds of reasons due to this virus as well.
?

I've been having good days and bad days worrying about family and friends. Have a son and family in Australia who are probably 3 weeks behind us here in UK and not sure how they will manage financially. Shopping was ok last time I went with good system in place but still got people breaking the 2 metre distancing - quite why they couldnt wait for me to move away I'm not sure. Need to go again but have been putting it off.
Enjoying our daily walk around the local golf course but finding it hard to fill the day. Hope everyone stays safe

Travelsafar, I could have written that! However I needed milk and fresh produce so DH and I went to asda this morning. I wasn’t sure if we’d both be allowed in but we were. The store is laid out with floor markings (arrows) showing some aisles going in one direction and some in the other. However it was unbelievable the amount of people who ignored them. And also ignored the 2m rule. I had someone lean over me to pick something off a shelf. I had stood back to allow 2 ditherers to make their mind up over which pack of chicken to buy but not many seemed to bother. The rules that we have now are not difficult and I don’t know whether these people think they are immortal, but their selfishness and stupidity just makes me so angry.

I wasn’t scared for myself, my daughter and her partner are paramedics so more concerned about them. However a silly woman kept coming too closely to me in the Waitrose queue today and she informed me that four people from “the sweet shop“ died. No idea what shop but I’d bet/hope it was an k founded rumou.

I'm not particularly scared, though I am almost 83. I have no health problems except damned arthritis which severely limits my mobility. No driving now, but I live opposite a village shop and live mostly from that, only having to stagger across the road. I rather resent the lines of cars outside belonging to people who can go where they will, but descend on "my" shop to clean it out as soon as there are any deliveries. My one real advantage is to be able to see from my window whenever a delivery van arrives. The village has closed down which is sad as I live very close to the excellent library. It is pure fluke that I chose to live right in the centre. I would be pretty helpless if I lived on the outskirts.

Bluebelle Page 1

I love you!

My husband is doing our shopping for us as I have asthma and HBP. On the 17th he is due to give platelets and plasma 13 miles away in Sheffield. He is A- so especially needed. I’m not due to give blood yet but want to go with him to be able to drive home if he feels unwell as has happened once. Normally we go by bus. I will have to park up and wait nearly two hours for him and am worried about being told I can’t do this even though I won’t get out of the car and will simply read my book.

I am scared and think it is a logical response to a very frightening situation. As well as getting the virus - and it seems a particularly brutal way to die - I am afraid of anyone in the family having to go to the hospital for other things.

My DD was in hospital last week, having her baby, and we were all worried about it but obviously she had no choice. I have a couple of health conditions that could see me hospitalised. One of them flared up recently and I was terrified that I would have to be admitted. I was afraid of catching the virus but also wondering how much capacity there was for dealing with other illnesses. Fortunately, everything settled down again and I didn't have to go.

Still, could be worse. I read a post by a Florida man who said his local store was packed. No social distancing, everyone pushing and shoving, people coughing, kids running about... He saw one woman, leaning on her trolley, rest her lower lip on the handle whilst she read her phone! A Trump supporter, I presume.

I'm with you there travelsafar the guilt is amazing and I'm only doing what we're allowed !

I've posted before about not being worried. Most people will be only mildly affected with the virus. There are exceptions but most of those who have died had underlying medical conditions with limited life expectancy. Some have died with Corvid-19 but not of Corvid-19.

I'm early 70s, in good health, no health issues, well within my weight range. I entirely agree that those who are vulnerable should avoid going out.

I shop three times a week as I can carry only a certain amount in my shopping trolley (no car). Long walk in the country most afternoons, keep working out on Google maps how far I've walked. 5.6 miles yesterday. 3.4 today. DDs more worried than I am and keep trying to stop me going out. Exercise if you can manage it is important and especially for mental health.

I mean this in the kindest way possible, but I do honestly think people need to get a grip. This is just the start of possibly a very long time of self isolation and social distancing. I’ve suffered from complex post traumatic stress from sexual abuse as a child (ages 5-15) and suffer from extreme anxiety, trauma flashbacks, horrific dreams from the trauma itself, not to mention a host of other symptoms. All my life I’ve been ignored and dismissed and told “just get over it” by helpful friends and family. Personally I wonder finally will people actually start to become more sympathetic to those of us with real life trauma as a result of this crisis. I’ve heard lots of conversations locally saying “oh I’ve got PTSD”, let me assure you, this is not PTSD, it’s just anxiety. The virus will pass eventually and life will settle. My one true hope is that people will now become kinder to those of us in the community with quite often disabling trauma issues. Comparatively this is nothing. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but if I can still manage to leave my house and get groceries with my huge affliction, then can so can all of you.

Very well said Onelifeletsliveit we all need to stop feeding each other’s anxiety. If you play by the rules - stay out of harms way - wash when you get home and be thoughtful and kind to those around you life will be what it is. The statistics give a general outline of numbers, but how many of those would have died anyway. Yes it’s dark days just now - but better things will come - they always do.

@travelsafar -I completely understand how you feel about going out now. I would be in just the same scared state.

I'm not really sure it's about 'over-reacting'.

The reality is
a) this calamity has come upon us so suddenly with little warning;
b) we know so little about this threatening novel virus;
c) we're all in a state of uncertainty about ...well, just about everything at the moment;
d) the heightened adrenaline which causes knotty tummies and so much more is normal when facing a threat;
e) our gvt seems to be exhibiting copious signs of 'British Bumble' which doesn't exactly convey much reassurance!

I could probably add several more!

I guess my tack is to accept how scared I feel, and do as much as I can of whatever it is that makes me feel more comfortable.

Gaga1950. Thanks for your reply. I understand the anxiety, maybe it’s easier for me because I’ve been dealing with it for years (dunno), but people really do have to calm down. We don’t have it too bad here really. In France they have to obtain a permit from the police in order to leave the house AT ALL. People I implore you, just calm down. Most of us have television, the internet for Skype and Zoom so we still can actually see friends and family. We really need to keep focussed, knuckle under and just get on with things. Be thankful that most of us are not on the frontline and crucially exposed. I would also like to encourage people to get out and offer to volunteer locally to their local councils. Maybe doing something constructive to help would take your minds off your own insecurities.

@Onelifeletsliveit I certainly agree with you about the way traumatic stress injuries are horrendously ignored. Thank you for sharing a little of your very damaging experience.

........ and yes, personally I am doing my bit for the local vicar through telephone mentoring and volunteering through the local council. People need to get off their back sides and do the same.