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Daily challenge #5 (Tues 7 April) - give us your lockdown limericks

(51 Posts)
CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 07-Apr-20 09:11:45

We love the collaborative concoctions on the games threads, but today we are asking for individual efforts on a rather topical theme. Looking forward to reading - if the haikus last week were anything to go by, we are in for some great ones.

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 07-Apr-20 09:13:35

As ever, I will start with a bad one...

A lady who lived on the Tyne
Tried in vain to get shopping on line
So she knitted some beans
And made fish from old jeans
And her dinner was chewy, but fine

gillybob Tue 07-Apr-20 09:21:13

You been spying on me Cari ? grin

trisher Tue 07-Apr-20 10:11:43

There once was a lady from Hull
Who missed going out on the pull
"It's no fun," she said,
"Being alone in my bed,
And sleeping is quite frankly, dull"

Gwenisgreat1 Tue 07-Apr-20 11:17:06

There was an old lady in Troon
who thought she lived on the moon
she was a bit hard wired
and luny inspired
but hoped to get back to the toon!

One bad one!

Neilspurgeon0 Tue 07-Apr-20 11:23:34

An old boy from the wee town of Louth
Was feeling quite down in the mouth
Till he saw a wee lass
With a nice shapely ass
But lockdown had his hopes far south

DanniRae Tue 07-Apr-20 11:25:55

There was an old woman called Pat
Whose legs were incredibly fat
She bought some new jeans
That that soon split at the seams
And said I'd have best bought a hat!!

clareken Tue 07-Apr-20 11:34:17

There once was a woman from Crewe
Who didn't know quite what to do.
I sit here on my on
Like an old garden stone
I might as well be painted blue.

clareken Tue 07-Apr-20 11:35:04

Or even, on my own!

annodomini Tue 07-Apr-20 11:43:01

There was a young fellow from Ayr
Who went with his girl to the fair
In a fast dodgem car,
He went much too far
And now they're no longer a pair.

MaggieMay69 Tue 07-Apr-20 11:43:37

I woke today around ten,
thought 'I'll put on the telly again!'
Then I had a nap,
and then fed the cat,
then started all over again!

notnecessarilywiser Tue 07-Apr-20 11:48:46

Coffee mornings and book club by Zoom
Frequent jokes via WhatsApp - ba boom!
Skyping my pals
(the cheeriest gals)
From the comfort of my sitting room

Mollygo Tue 07-Apr-20 11:57:26

With the virus I have a routine
Get up early and get myself clean
Put on make up then Zoom
To enliven the gloom
Then out walking to enjoy the scene.

Peardrop50 Tue 07-Apr-20 12:36:51

Boris set out to inspire us
Obey lock down so that we can admire us
But now in icu hell
We all wish him well
And hope that he fights off the virus

henetha Tue 07-Apr-20 12:40:33

There is an old Nan in south Devon
Who thinks that she lives in heaven
But now she's locked in
She keeps drinking gin
And doesn't know if it's midnight or seven.

Peardrop50 Tue 07-Apr-20 13:37:15

Chocolate sitting on hips
Hair growing long on top lips
What can we do
To get us all through
Anyone got any tips?

Peardrop50 Tue 07-Apr-20 13:40:58

Chocolate sitting on hips
Hair growing long on top lips
What can we do
To get us all through
Anyone got any tips?

Peardrop50 Tue 07-Apr-20 13:44:21

Oops that wasn't nice
I seem to have posted twice
I know I'm an ass
But please let it pass
At least it wasn't thrice!

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 07-Apr-20 15:04:03

grin grin

And gillybob, rumbled grin

downtoearth Tue 07-Apr-20 15:31:34

Here I sit in isolation,
Keeping apart from the Nation
My waistline is blooming
From the crap I'm consuming
Out of boredom and frustration

lovebeigecardigans1955 Tue 07-Apr-20 15:57:02

This lock down is feeling a bit sad
I'm hoping I don't go mad
As I love being at home
Much too idle to roam
And thus far the weather's not bad.

Lazypaws Tue 07-Apr-20 15:57:18

There was a young lady from Leith,
Who had terribly crooked teeth.
The dentist fixed them
Now they're an item,
And soon, she'll be married to Keith.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 07-Apr-20 16:02:42

The lockdown is dreary, you say,
But the sun is quite nice here today,
So I've trundled my barrow
through paths straight and narrow,
piled logs. I'll be at it til May.

lizzypopbottle Tue 07-Apr-20 16:51:43

I've finally cut my long grass,
It took a lot more than one pass,
The tower's exhausted,
But that's cos I forced it,
And, sadly, I've run out of gas!

lizzypopbottle Tue 07-Apr-20 16:52:32

Damn it! It's the mower that's exhausted!