How to meet men in real life?

Hearing some of these stories I think we were very lucky Sarahmob

In lockdown it is impossible to meet anyone new. Encouraged by a good friend after being on my own for 4 years, I started nervously with an online dating subscription a couple of years with limited mixed results. Elite singles is rubbish, so save you money and don't bother with that site, nor the free ones as they tend to be for ' hook ups' I.e looking for new friends with benefits rather than looking for a steady 121 relationship.

The geographical distance setting on Elite singles does not work as a filter. You do need a thick skin with online messaging, as initial pleasant dialogues can be truncated suddenly without the courtesy of an explanation or excuse. This is called ' ghosting', and is relatively common behaviour. Many people on the paid for sites are genuine enough, in terms of people looking for a partner, provided you are sensible in your interpretation of their profiles. Many also seem to lie about the age or use photos that are over 10 years old. I met one man for coffee who was not only 10 older than he stated, but knocked 10 years off his sons age as well. Unfortunately for him, he did look his actual real age, which was not a problem in itself, but the continued attempt to mislead after meeting up was troubling. I would not have minded the 'fib' so much if he had confessed on first meeting that he had knocked off a few years from his age. After the age of 65 many people do not want to appear as if in the ' looking for a carer' category if they are young at heart . I had been honest with my age, but the gap with that particular gentleman was too great, as I'm still working full time at the moment.

However I found the biggest issue was large numbers of alleged 'matches' who are former subscribers that are not active members, and most do not live with my stated 50 mile radius, many suggested 'matches' were 200 miles away.

I have however joined some mixed group activities in my home town and made new friends of both genders with a common hobby interest. Have been on group outings with these new friends.
I got also got a free 3 day membership offer with the Dating Lab who run sites under multiple brands such as sites for the Times, Telegraph, Saga etc and have actually met up with a nice man just before lockdown erupted. We are currently exchanging emails, had a few calls and messaging and will go out for a walk in near future. Both of us have been isolating on our own, following the rules. Not sure this man is the one for me as I'm not looking for full time new husband at present, and I think he may be looking for more, but the prospect of having a holiday companion and days out, when possible, seems to suits us both at the moment as it is very early days.

Good luck with whatever you try, but don't get disheartened with online dating. Give it a go, it might work, but finding a new hobby worked better for me in terms of my overall loneliness, but lockdown has been really difficult.

Apparently "Across the Room" is a good one. They organise dinner dances throughout the year. So it's a very relaxed, group activity.

I met my man completely by chance. I was widowed nine years and wasn't the slightest bit interested in meeting anyone else. It never occurred to me that I would ever meet anyone I would care for again. My two children met their partners through Tinder, and when one of them then married, I met my man who was a guest at the wedding!

Bet you are, I'm so jealous.

sodapop my husband and I met through an advert in the paper too, we’ve been married 24 years, best move I ever made.

I'd quite like a gentleman friend, but not a live-in man, a friend who is a man.
Ex was abusive but didn't start off that way, if they would never get anyone to be with them would they
There are always exceptions to everything. I know people who fell deeply in love and married very soon after meeting, but often an abusive man is a real charmer, love bombs you, talks about marriage, becomes jealous of other relationships, with parents, children, friends, and wants you all to themselves, and needs to know where you are. They say look at how he treats those who are in a position 'lower' than you, waiters, shop people, that kind of thing, and is he a 'victim' , is his Boss always out to get him, his colleagues, or neighbours always on his wrong side, soon you'll be one of those 'out to get him' he'll be criticising you, just for starters, once he's 'hooked' you. Lots of other things too Honestly, it's much better to be picky, go slowly and wait for a lovely man, and no doubt there are some lovely men out there, it's easier to go slowly and make sure than get involved with someone who will take lots of time and money to get away from

I'm listening to cases of domestic violence have gone up 700% since lock down. I know it happens to men too but the majority of victim are women. I know there are great men out there but when I hear this I wonder if we/I am crazy for wanting a partner. Sorry if this is a bit negative but I keep hearing about DV going up and I find it horrifying.

At the moment dating is impossible...even meeting through groups. MeetUp and U3A has stopped. There are no evening classes or gyms open. Good job I am happy with my own company

I have tried a couple of dating sites and am amazed by the number of men in their seventies who expect girls young enough to be their daughters to be interested in them. Some sites ask for your income, and so many men give impossibly high salaries such as £100000 that I think they are trying to make up for their unattractive photo. I dated 3 men, and the first two spent all the time talking about their first wife. The third was nice and I went out a couple of times with him, but he was just too forward... kept trying to hold my hand etc. In the end I dropped him.

I’m single, 62 have been on date sites before years ago and mainly met game players, but one was local to me and we became great friends for 3 years. I moved house 2.5 years ago to start afresh and joined the local fb village page and met a great female friend who although married her husband never wanted to socialise or anything. She has been a great inspiration to me and we formed a craft group in our village and met other local people who were also interested. I now look after my grandson two days a week and have taken him to my local playgroups were again in meeting other people as well as giving him some social life. My friend is now divorced and joined plenty of fish date site and after meeting many players again she’s found a great fella who lives 2 miles away. I’m back on the site and I have met one guy already, am chatting to five others at the moment. It’s great fun and now you can video date while in lockdown or chat on the phone if you wish. I did try volunteering at a theatre as that’s my main interest but all the guys were married but I’ve seen some lovely shows for free and met some lovely people anyway. If you’re not keen on date sites I would recommend the meet up groups of which there are many. At the moment, they are holding them online, so if you have the technology I’d say go for it, you’ve nothing to lose, but everything to gain, good luck x

I met my bloke on holiday. I was in the ashes of my previous relationship and he was nice, chatty and good fun. He gave me his email address and I mulled it over for a while when I got back from hol and then emailed him.

Not sure if his eagerness was a good thing or not, long term. That was 14 years ago.

I met my husband of 41 years through a penpals section in a music magazine. We exchanged several long letters, then met up, and within a few months we were living together. Obviously it worked out! But of course things are different nowadays and everything is online. And all that sending "sexts" and photos of each other's naughty bits before they've even met.

I go to a local blues club and there are lots of men Of A Certain Age. Music is a great bond - it's easy to talk to people there. I'm not single and not looking for anyone but if I were, I think that's where I'd start. I go on my own mostly as my OH isn't over-keen and I talk to lots of people I've seen there over the yeas but if you're a bit nervous of doing that, see if you could hook up with a friend to go along with at first. There are bands on at many a pub. Good luck!

GabriellaG54 Ones who can look after you in your dotage? A good plan!

I hope you find friendship and love after this is over indeedamum I was on my own for over ten years before I met my second husband. We have been happily married now for 15 years.

I certainly wouldn't be looking at anyone my age or older. You would end up looking after them in their dotage.
I prefer men in their late 40s to 50s and ones who haven't gone to seed.

I have a woman friend who is in her 80s and always has a man friend. I think a) she is attractive and dresses nicely and b) she really likes male company.
She has been widowed for many years and has grown up family. I doubt she wants to marry or even live with these men but she enjoys their company and likes an escort. I don't know where she finds them. Sorry.

Skweek1
It doesn't always work like that.
If you write a polite 'No thanks', one often gets a reply asking why and if they don't like the reason they can be a bit rude.
Not everyone is blessed with good manners.

Match dot com.
I met my OH on there almost 7 years ago. Some quality men on there if standards are the same.
I did lots of background checks on the ones I met, before meeting.

I met my previous relationship through work. He was a client and also known socially by one of the staff.

I met my current relationship (now husband) sort of through work. He is the brother of a colleague's partner.

I remet my wife after a gap of. 8 years I was dj at a party she came to and I invited her to my divorce party. We have now been married for 43 years. She now has dementia and getting worse. I cannot see anyone interested in me after she has gone as I am disabled partially sighted and cartlidges gone in both knees.

Id read some of the comments on here about folk who seem to be miserable with their partners in lockdown/isolation. Im not saying everyone, but there seems to be more than a few who cannot stand each other. Take your time. I had a good friend that made the mistake of moving someone in very quickly. Her life ended up hell. I hasten to add he had everybody fooled as folk thought he was wonderful. He definitely lulled my friend into a false sense of security. Be wary.

All the older people I know who have met partners in later life have done it through being active outgoing people, who are out in the community, belonging to local interest groups or working as a volunteer, or have found new partners in their current freindship group.

Most importantly they haven't been consciously looking for a new partner. There is nothing more likely to put a potential new partner off than the man or woman who clearly sees every member of the opposite sex they meet as potential prey. (obviously, I am not talking about dating sites)

DS is the loveliest lad in the world and is looking for Miss Right -he has a charming young lady friend, but that is all she is - his best friend. But at 36, with Aspergers, he has joined several on-line sites and despite having written a really good resume, not so much as a single reply. Why don't girls want a loving gentleman these days? And wouldn't it be polite to at least send a "sorry, not interested message".