Have I just lost a friend?

You have absolutely nothing to feel miserable about. The other party is the one who should be ashamed given how she is behaving. Good on her family memberfor not allowing her in to visit. Don't give your "friend" another thought she doesn't deserve it. Perhaps she will realise how ridiculous she is being and apologise. Yes, she could be living in a state where she would be shot for civil disobedience, which is what her actions are at the moment, doesn't
know how lucky she is not to be.

I think your friend is feeling trapped and imprisoned by the lockdown and therefore wanting to 'escape' No it's not logical but this is how confinement is affecting some, and explains why they are taking exercise, walking or driving to places they never bothered with before. She sounds stressed, and deeply hurt by her family rejecting her visit. The human instinct for company is kicking in for lots of people while others are coping really well apart from a few blips.
Ring your friend for a chat tomorrow to see how she is, but keep it light and try not to discuss the news or lockdown. If she mentions it agree you have different views but are still there for her to talk to. It may help stop her feeling so isolated.

Have to say that it is people like her who will make all this last longer

No they wont.
Lockdown was never going to eradicate or even prevent CV19
If anything its lockdown that makes it last longer
Viruses are naturally self limiting

Please don't be upset
I am sure all will be well between you
again,, everyone is frightened and it effects us all differently. Take care

It will get to a point where people will say whats the point in being alive if we can't thrive.

Its happening all over the world.

Lockdown is not a sustainable long term plan.

It bought the NHS time to reconfigure. They've done that now.

Now its time to resume some variation of normal

>>brave

I think you are very grave and glad that you said what you did. I'm angry today.

I have a friend who posted on fb that she had driven out to the countryside to walk the dog, @ 7am, and 'how peaceful' it was. She is the sort of person who strains against restrictiveness. And she lives in an area where a lake walk is on her doorstep, a park over the road, and a v.large field to wander round. ALL this and she is in the NHS. Beggars belief.

She sounds like a lady on the radio the other day. She said she did what she wanted. Even visiting an elderly friend. She even said she didn’t care if she caught it just for the sake of sitting in a bench. The presenter got very cross and hung up on her

Have to say that it is people like her who will make all this last longer. I am so glad that she has a sensible daughter in law. You were so right in how you spoke to her

What a selfish stupid considerate individual she is! I'm aching to hug my grandchildren and my children but I know, if I didn't follow the advice and took it upon myself to just "pop" in on family I would soon find myself "minus" DC and GC!

Not only that, if I did see the kiddies and passed anything onto them I'd never forgive myself!

You could only say to her what you believe to be true - and what most of us believe to be true. It's incredible that some are willing to undo all the efforts of these past weeks, at such a terrible cost to people and the economy, because they are 'fed up' wtih staying in! How spectacularly selfish and stupid can you get? If you have been friends for a while she is likely to be decent person I would have thought - maybe having a melt down, and perhaps she will ring you and apologise. She certainly should - maybe her family will talk some sense in to her. Stay safe.x

I agree with oh mother. She may have been having a wobbly day. Give her a ring tomorrow yes. Let us know!

What does DIL and Any other of the initials on here stand for please?

ExD - you were true to your beliefs - and you owned them, and I agree with you 100%. She sounds very selfish - missing a drive and an ice cream - aren't we all? Sorry if you feel you have lost her but maybe she'll simmer down and if she doesn't, you are not in any way to blame.

I'm a bit confused as to what front line job your other half is doing at 80years old. Isn't he going to be high risk?

I wish I could find it, but I stumbled on a hilarious poem about it that went something like this

The Covid Gestapo has decreed
That in order for this shutdown to succeed
You must stay within the confines of your garden.
(then something about getting the garden furniture ready and stoking up the barbie - ending in asking someone's 'pardon'

Then three further verses about having to sit in the sunshine and
Drink gin and beer (being of good cheer)
Not burning the meat on the bbq, and not feeling obliged to invite all the neighbours round
Getting a suntan
Watching the birds and getting paid for it

It was quite funny, and so true (except some people aren't being paid to stay at home). I will search, and post it if I find it.

ExD
Don’t mean to be rude, but why is it okay for an 80 year old to do a front line job....with all the risks to himself and others, taking into account his vulnerability
Whilst your friend who sounds like she’s in melt down should be berated for saying she’s fed up and life isn’t worth living?

maddyone Actually greater love is shown by the deprivation, not by selfish desires being fulfilled.

Thank you maddy ..... that is a kind thing to say and I appreciate it.

She sounds a complete idiot. A man across the road from me is similar. He was whining the other week about how bored he is, so I reminded him that it's better to be bored than stuck in a hospital, either on a ventilator, or working long shifts as a doctor or nurse. Some people are morons.

ExD, who really needs a friend so selfish and spoilt anyway? You are well rid of her!

Sorry lots of errors !piece of my mouth obviously!

I certainly have very different attitude to one of my friends
I know for a fact what she's been up to in 'lockdown 'I put in inverted comas for her as her experience has been nothing like that of myself and other friends.Countless trips to shops.DD and boyfriend, neighbour abd other relatives in the house regularly. I haven't said anything although when she rang to say sge was shocked to hear I had the virus ,how was I doing and where on earth could I have got it from I nearly have her a piece of my main.Well done for saying something.

I think you should leave her to it. Its possible that she is very depressed which can lead to some dysfunctional thinking. However you need to protect your mental health too and conversations like this just aren't healthy.

Whether depression or character is leading to her saying these things, it is upsetting for you.

She will apologise if she feels better/values your friendship or she will look for others who support her views and live in an echo chamber.

Take care of you

Sparklefizz you know that what she insinuated isn’t true. Actually greater love is shown by the deprivation, not by selfish desires being fulfilled.

Thanks maddyone. What really finished me off when talking on the phone to her yesterday was that she insinuated that she missed her family more than I missed mine, therefore it was "essential" that she went out to visit them regularly ..... in other words, that I didn't care about mine, when in fact I miss them very much but am following the rules and trying to do the right thing. Grrr !