Have I just lost a friend?

We will not know whether Sweden has done better until a year or more has passed - right now they are doing about the same as us, but worse than their neighbours who are less densely populated.

It is quite likely that there will be a second wave for every country that has practised lockdown, and that Sweden will not get it, (as everyone will have already been exposed) which will make a big difference to the final result.

Don't use the rise in domestic violence as a statistic to get on with your life, because that's a ruse- Domestic violence didn't stop you from carrying on as you wanted in the past, but suddenly it's become something useful now that you cannot do what you want to do-

So are you not horrified that lockdown has caused domestic violence deaths to nearly double already
It will be much more than that long term when mental illness deaths from the trauma of being trapped in scary homes under lockdown get added to that down the line.

What I want to do, for your information, is get a scan I was referred to right before lockdown. Which is now cancelled. Indefinitely. I am not well. But I am not yet emergency sick. So I get no treatment until lockdown ends. Unless I get worse. What I wont get, for now, is better.

I am not missing going out for beers. I am missing access to basic healthcare and dentistry. And helf my household income. All that is life and death stuff too.

I am missing routine screening that DH and I now wont get until???

What sweeden wont have is our peaks of extra domestic violence deaths, undiagnosed cancer deaths, deaths due to abrubt indefinite halts to face to face mental health therapies, dentistry deaths, deaths that are usually prevented by access to long term condition management programs.

Also I worry that the longer those services are halted... the less likely they will be to restart! And the NHS will forever remain reconfigured as a life and death emergency service only.

Don't use the rise in domestic violence as a statistic to get on with your life, because that's a ruse- Domestic violence didn't stop you from carrying on as you wanted in the past, but suddenly it's become something useful now that you cannot do what you want to do-

This statement makes no sense at all
Us not being in lockdown didnt cause extra DV deaths
Us being in lockdown does

These are people that wouldnt have otherwise died!

They would be alive.

They are dead because of lockdown and there are many more to come

I do understand, notanan- I didn't think your sense of urgency to lift lockdown was dependent upon statistics-

I would hate to disobey orders and then find I had passed the virus on as a carrier to my friends or family, who may not be so lucky.

I get what you are saying notanan. We can't stop it, I think we could have but that ship sailed. Now all we can do is buy time till a vaccine. We should be moving to test and trace. I don't understand why we aren't there yet.

Your friend doesn’t seem to understand that the lockdown is not just to stop her getting the virus, but also to stop her passing it on to others. She may not get it but she could still be a carrier. She’s very lucky that she isn’t on her own, as she has her husband with her. There are hundreds of people totally on their own, and there are families without gardens.

She is either very selfish or very stupid.

It's like the anti-vaxxers who expect everyone else to conform, so that they don't have to.

My husband had a wobble on Saturday. He was suggesting letting the grandchildren come to play in our garden. I said absolutely no. He said I was enjoying the peace and quiet too much. Things calmed down and all talk of seeing grandchildren stopped. Just saying, this is hard, be a little kinder to those who are finding it hard.

It depends on what sort of person your friend is normally,perhaps she's always selfish,But we all feel like she does at times,I felt really miserable on Saturday,but I realise that we have to do as we are told.At least she has a husband and a car,a lot of us have neither.But I wouldn't be going for rides into the countryside if I had.As other people are saying,I was wondering what work your husband has returned to.And I hope maybe your friend will apologise for her behaviour

Your friend or ex friend obviously does not have any underlining health problems or family working on the front line or she too would follow government guidelines. I'm fearful mainly of other peoples selfish behavior that puts many at risk. I think this lock down has shown peoples true qualities. You have many peoples support.

What an ars* to have as a friend. Keep your distance.

I don't think you've lost a fiend - no one needs that sort of selfish person in their life. I find that sort of gung ho attitude intolerable. If they do get the virus and are seriously ill who will have to look after them - and who could they pass it on to. Like lots, I miss going out and seeing family, but am grateful that we all seem well. We can sit in the garden and have been able to get all the food we need. If your friend wants to be a statistic that's her problem but she has no right to take anyone with her. If she talks like this - no one will want to know her. Carry on as you are, keep yourself safe, which will help support the NHS and the community.

starblaze We should be moving to test and trace. I don't understand why we aren't there yet.

Maybe because the large order of tests bought from China were unreliable and we couldn't use them.

I would think that most of us on here are not privy to any more information than that which is in the media. Most of us aren’t in a position to say what should have happened re lockdown etc.
However we do have lockdown and I think that the vast majority of us are sticking to the rules. It doesn’t matter that some people disagree.
The majority are doing their very best to cope because they feel that is for the greater good. It could be that that belief is getting them through this difficult time.
Those who flout the rules are seen as uncaring about the rest of us.
That makes us very cross?. Whether the rules make us safer is immaterial, the message the rule breakers are giving is that ‘I am more important than the rest of you’.

It’s her loss, you did the right thing and showing you care. I’m sure we’d all like to go and visit our relatives, I’m missing my grandchildren, I would love a hug from them. At least she has her husband, some of us have no one, my daughter live about 200 miles away and both my sons are doing my shopping but keeping to the 2 metre recommended distance means they don’t come in, having a heart problem means I’m very vulnerable.
Your ‘friend’ needs to be grateful she has someone who cares, like I said it’s her loss!

IT'S A BIT LONG BUT THIS IS WORTH READING:-
For the unteachable and Knowledge
Today the sun is shining, you leave your house.
You meet acquaintances. They don't cough, they're fine. It doesn't hurt to keep your distance and get close for a chat. You make jokes and then you go home.
You don't see me, you don't know me yet you brought me. In the midst of your family I choose my nest. After a few days I attack. Your wife / girlfriend/ husband/ brother is exhausted, her/his body feels heavy.
Nothing alarming, you think. Just a common cold.
I brought a fever and cough but you... you stay blind and deaf.
Inside I check everything.
Look... she suffocates, suffocates, panic, she suffers.
You contact the ER.
At the hospital I am king. They're just talking about me here. Everyone fears me: nurses, doctors, paramedics... I know. I scare them all.
Your wife / girlfriend is getting weaker but unfortunately... no resources, no seats, no ventilator, no masks.
Zero support no family... she's in her bed alone.
I feel she's scared. She cries, freezes, feels alone, it's dark. She says she loves you.
She falls asleep and I attack harder.
Everything goes its way: heart rate, twenty-five blood pressure, no air and then nothing more.... I decided that because her sleep will come forever.
You couldn't say goodbye. Just like everyone else I took her in the dark. Nothing will be the same again.
You were warned, right?
My name is Covid-19, and tonight with your help I can kill someone you love.
And you... all you can do is cry and regret...
Stay in your house - respect the rules, it's in your own interest or in the best interest of someone you love.
Selfish... it doesn't fit here!
I want five of my contacts to copy and publish (don't share) this post.
This is an alarm clock for the small group that still doesn't want to understand. ?? ?? ??
Until it gets out of your ears!!! ?
IT IS NOT OVER!!!!

I wouldn’t lose a friend over this if she meant something to me. I think we’re all coping in our own way, and we’re all struggling with it in our own way too. Your friend is still in denial, while many of us have rolled over in defeat. That’s not a criticism of anyone, just my view of how we’re managing this in our own heads.

I’m obeying the ‘rules’ although there’s a lot of me that feels just like your friend; ‘what’s the point?’ ‘How long am I expected to live like this?’ Oh yes and ‘why don’t those idiots do as they’re told they’re just making it worse for the rest of us?’

Let’s face it, we’re unlikely to have a vaccine for 18 months to a year and maybe never. We are going to have to live with this thing and face the fact that at some point we have to go out into the world again. So there will be more cases and more deaths. And we could be amongst them. The alternative is to stay indoors for perhaps the rest of our natural lifespan, and that’s a pretty grim thought as well. So while we process these thoughts of course we are all going to go through different stages of grief, and fear. No one knows the answer, no one knows where the story will end. We’re all muddling through along with the powers that be. So let’s just be kind to one another on the way.

The government has failed abysmally to do anything, it carried on as normal for 11 days after Covid-19 was officially pronounced a pandemic; keeping everything open, stadiums, bars, transport for far too long with no restraint: with no effective preparations, no testing, no PPE, we would 'take it on the chin' accept that 'many loved one will die'; no help needed from EU for testing and equipment.. But he'll probably Get Brexit Done to show he can do something.
The opposition carried on following their arcane rulebook effectively giving us no opposition during these tragic months. Too little, too late.
In the end it will be up to each and everyone of us to use our common sense on how to behave, how to educate our kids, and keep safe and protect others. Don't look for leadership there. That is our task. That and to hold the government and parliament mercilessly to account to prevent further disaster.

Never fails to amaze me that people like this that really can't conform for longer than 5 minutes, seem to think they are immortal and that it doesn't really matter about anybody else. So selfish !
Sorry, if they can't think of anybody else beyond their own wants and needs, they are not the sort of person that I would want as a friend anyway!
Even if a long term friend, if you look back over time, they will have treated you in exactly the same way - keeping you waiting when you are supposed to be going somewhere together, or not even turning up etc.

I think most people are suffering under the strain of lockdown. We have not been out since 3/3 and desperately miss seeing family. However, to go against lockdown is foolish and will just prolong it possibly adding to the horrendous loss of life. For me it’s more loss of personal freedom to choose rather than going out. This situation is totally unprecedented and people are scared. Probably tempers becoming frayed and angry reactions from many normally placid folk. If luckily we have the luxury of a nice home, financial security, food and warmth we are blessed. My heart goes out to those poor folk with young children living in unsuitable housing without gardens. Those grieving the sad loss of loved ones, Homeless people, depressed mentally ill persons possibly unsupported. The list is endless...... of course the pandemic will end along with lockdown. There will possibly be long term repercussions. In the aftermath Life will be changed forever. I don’t think I will ever feel safe again. Fear will stay leaving life permanently changed. Hopefully people will be kinder to each other as a result....

I think this lockdown is affecting us all in different ways. I'm sure when she has had time to digest what was said, she'll calm down and realise what a good friend she has in you, and how unreasonable her attitude was.

Have I missed ExD's answer as to what her 80 year old husband is doing in a front line job?