Grieving on your own is very hard

So very sorry for your loss of your wonderful husband. Lots of love to you xxx

Calpurnia I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am glad you were able to be there with him and continue to look after him right to the end. So many have what I call ‘a cross to bear’ when someone dies but you have no such cross as you did everything for him as I’m sure he appreciated. You had a long and happy marriage and are bound to feel lost and alone with your grief. I think you will have good days and bad days. When you have a bad moment is there no one you can talk to from your family as they will be grieving too and will understand? Also they will have bad moments when they need your help. Be strong together. ‘I feel fine’ makes me think of Louise Penny’s books when it means ‘F***ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Egoistical’ - fine or anything but fine.

I am very sorry for those who have lost their husbands. These are strange and difficult times in which to be mourning. I know it's not the same but my husband's mum died on Friday. Normally the family would gather together but they can't. At least he has me with him. It must be so hard to grieve alone.

Hi Calpurnia. My heart goes out to you. I lost my beloved on November 1st. He died peacefully at home holding my hand
after a long fight against lung cancer, Bereavement is no easy path without lock down. This is the second time for me and that doesn’t make it any easier! Take care of yourself. If you want to message me you are more than welcome.

I am so sorry for your loss. In August our family went through the loss of a very young family member due to cancer. I have thought how much more difficult that would have been during these present days.
Going through a loss is like swimming in turbulent waters... waves come and take your breath. It is in these waters you need a life jacket, a helper because if the truth be told, grief was never meant to bear alone.
Mourning is to be shared with others.
I pray you are able to get through this with the help of others... that the waters you’re in will get less turbulent as the days go by. May you feel the love of your family and friends wrap around you like a life jacket. And may the knowledge that others like me are in those same waters with you be a solace. You will get through it. You will.

I can only add to the best wishes and sorrow of everyone else.

My deepest sympathy to you. I can't begin to tell you how brave and courageous you are at this sad time. it's terrible to lose someone you love and with the situation at present, this must be compounded 10 fold. I think that many people don't know what to say when speaking to a bereaved person so quite often say the wrong thing, especially if they have never had to deal with a loss. Please talk to an organization call 'CRUSE" who are very good and will offer sa very sympathetic ear.

I can't add anything to the warm and wise words already posted to all bereaved Gransnetters but didn't want to 'read and run'. Having no experience of your situations, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you but feel so touched by the dignity and love that shines through all your posts, I just wanted to add my condolences and heartfelt thoughts to you all.

So sorry Calpurnia. I can only imagine your pain and distress. I wish I could offer some practical advice that could bring you comfort. All I can offer is understanding and empathy.

My heart goes out to you Calpurnia, you sound to be have been a wonderful wife, with your husband at the very end and being so brave. There is so much to deal with when someone dies and in the current climate we are in much harder than most. Take great care and keep posting on here if you want some more support.

My sincerest condolences. Difficult enough to lose your life partner but like this?
Reach out to your family and friends. Be honest. Your entitled to support. It’s your turn and time to receive now.
And find a counselor and/or a support group. You needn’t and shouldn’t be alone at this time. Take care of yourself.

Calpurnia It is nearly four years since my lovely husband died. Like you I nursed him at home for a long time but, he died in hospital.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. As others have said, tell your family something of what you are feeling. If you need to cry, do so. Tears are healing. I still, occasionally, cry on the phone to my daughter, especially now while alone at home. I always feel better afterwards.

You have a lot of love and thoughts from the gransnetters on here. Take comfort in that

Any bereavement is difficult to go through, but at this time it must be so much harder. I hope that all of you who have recently suffered a bereavement will find the strength from somewhere to cope until this lockdown is eased.
I have been a widow for many years and my heart goes out to you all at this very sad time.

Sending love to you and virtual hugs at this very sad and difficult time.
Take Carex

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and it must be so very hard during this time of lockdown. I haven't had time to read through all the replies but in case this hasn't been suggested - there is a new online bereavement support group which has been set up to put you in touch with others in a similar position and location. It has also set up access to professional counsellors / therapists if needed. Untangle.life I hope this maybe of help. Sending love to you and your family

Calpurnia,you have been such a wonderful wife to your dear husband and done so much to help him. It is the most unfortunate of times for you to have to lose him. I understand how lonely it must be to arrange the funeral on your own and be without anyone to put an arm around you or give you a hug. It is OK to feel sorry for yourself and it is OK to say to people that you are not doing so well right now. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve in your own way. So sorry

Calpurnia, this is so sad, and makes me realise that although I am alone at home I don’t have this sadness to deal with.

It must be so hard to be strong at the moment, but I am sure your husband knew how much you cared for him, and you did all you could until he passed.

Look after yourself.

I am so sorry to hear you have lost your husband and I feel for you.

My heart goes out to you and I respect your humility and bravery in these testing times. You were there for your husband to the end and he knew that which is such a relief in my honest opinion as you knew he was at peace.
After the turmoil of organising the funeral and his effects, please remember to be kind to yourself. Grieve!! If you are not all right, it is fine to say so. Cruise is a very good organisation if you require some advice or a listening ear.
I wish you peace and comfort for the future

I am so sorry for your loss - my heart goes out to you - especially at this time - I have this in my kitchen and read it when I am sad and lonely- it helps sometimes ....

I wrote your name in the sky, but
the wind blew it away. I wrote your
name in the sand, but the waves washed
it away. I wrote your name in my
heart, and forever it will stay!!

We are all thinking of you x

When my beloved partner died I too didn’t know what to say and then just said to enquiries “one day at a time” it helped me enormously.
That’s all you can say.
The stages of grief are many and you need to give yourself time to process.

So sorry for your loss. Sending you a big warm virtual hug. X

We were brought up to say the same Grannybags, and I’ve spent the best part of 18 months and a shedload of money with a therapist to undo the damage. Lots of love ? and thoughts Calpurnia

My heart goes out to you Calpernia. I volunteer for the Cruse Bereavement Care charity which offers telephone support for people in your situation. If you feel this is appropriate for you at present look up the website and talk to someone. We are there for you when you don't want to say 'I'm fine', because we understand that you're not.