Cabin fever with adult children

I know how you feel,i have my son ,my daughter in law and grandson with me,not had any time to myself since lockdown,unless I go to bed or when I have a shower.feel like screaming at times but have held my tongue so not to upset the household.im a convenient childminder , when they have things to do.i have given up with tidying up because as soon as I clear up a room they want to use it. my carpets need washing the whole house needs doing. I cannot wait to get back to work as I have been furloughed,cant wait to get back for the social side. my partner does not live with me so I cannot get his support just phone calls which are hard as I get no privacy with them.so most of the time we text.

Gosh I thought you were going to say you had 4 or 5 adults living with you. One, educated, responsible person. Your daughters is needing an outlet to get out her frustrations and anxiety. Surely she has friends in similar positions she can talk with about what is going to happen when schools return. You need to tell DD to calm down, she is not any different to most others in the country. Why not get her to volunteer with a charity agency - that wiukd open her eyes to other's difficulties.

Your daughter needs a dose of real life,.... my daughter (estranged) lives in her own house , usually with her kids every other week. But now she’s in ‘shielded’ and had to hand her two kids over to their dad for the duration. They are only 2 miles away , but she canot give them a hug and a kiss and a cuddle. She can only see them on FaceTime once a day. Luckily their dad is an excellent father and lives near a big park... can take them out every day whereas she not allowed to leave her home. She has to rely on my son and her best friend to shop for her.... and have a chat from road. Your daughter sounds like a ‘ scardie cat’ as we used to call each other when kids . She needs to grow a backbone and start supporting you ,NOT behaving like a spoilt child. Have a word .... mum!

Any teacher frightened of going back to school
Should leave

I pity the poor children she teaches
Sounds like she has classic victim mentality
You must be tearing your hair out

I think the answer is ‘My home, my rules’. Perhaps you should suggest that you try to live apart in the same house as much as possible so that you both have your own time

However, I am secretly envious of you as I am totally on my own, only seeing my family on FaceTime every night. How I would love physical contact t.

Oh glad it’s not just me, I’m craving time to myself. There’s 5 of us at home , 2 adult children (who are no trouble) a 20 month old gs. Who is really hard work. And my husband who had dementia. He causes arguments with everyone and I’m piggy in the middle.
I think people who have been off since the lockdown began, are more fearful of returning to work.
But you’re daughter is being unreasonable, I think sit down with her and lay down some ground rules.

My adult son lives with me and quite honestly , have had little problem - he's working from home and has turned the box room into his office, so I really only see him at meal times!
In the evening he has usually watched his own tv in his room.
I think your daughter really needs to be aware that teaching and preaching stops at the school gate! Does she have any interests that she can do either on or offline ? There are a lot of online quizzes that you both could do - even play against each other or form a team, just to give her something else to think about.
In our house, it's me with the antibac wipes - or I leave parcels outside in our barn for a couple of days before opening them!

There are a lot of unkind replies on here towards your daughter. I know she is driving you mad but is this to annoy you or just because she is scared, may even have ocd why she is constantly spraying against viruses or one in particular ? This is not to say your house is filthy at all. As a teacher she is probably very worried about going back to school where she has a risk of catching the virus. My daughter is a teacher and has similar fears of returning to school.
Please, please don’t take your daughter’s behaviour too personally and be hard on her. Have a chat and see if you can help her be less anxious. Does it really matter if spraying every where makes her feel better?

Salsa its similar here. DH is wfh and our son who is a young adult with SN lives with us anyway. Hes off college. I love them both dearly but am missing having time to myself!!

Teaching is hard enough without current circumstance and the added element of the unknown. Is there support she can get for her anxieties via her professional body? GP might have advice too and be able to give links to some useful support.

Yes, family meeting time, stay calm but let her know exactly how she is making you feel .... good luck

My son although not living with us is so pc when it comes to the rules. Way over the top but I.found out it was me he was trying to protect. I couldn't live with my children anymore. With the number of deaths you have had she has a right to be scared.

Forgot to say "welcome" LynG6 it's a tough time for many right now.

Can you work with her and say, "I have some parcels coming shall I call you so you can spray them for me?"

Maybe she is wanting to protect you.

My daughter in law is a teacher and dreading going back. A friend is on a rota of teachers going in to support children still at school and is not impressed with how things are working. Some staff members are not respecting space and she is afraid when it open up again it will cause a new wave.

Your daughter is obviously super anxious but it will end eventually.
Be kind to yourself if you can. So hard.
Thinking of you.

I think we’re all suffering it’s the not the norm at the moment make allowances and have a quiet word with her it can only help,

She's obviously stressed and taking it out on you, because she can x
Deep breaths x

YOUR home YOUR rules. It is none of her business what you do with your life, you are NOT one of her school children, in fact she really does need to grow up a bit herself. I don't suppose she is paying much towards the home either, if she is "saving for a deposit". It's time for you to pull rank. She is presumably still being paid? Then either she keeps her thoughts to herself or she moves out and rents somewhere. Her behaviour is not acceptable. Even if you had an afternoon of passionate sex with the gardener, it's NONE OF HER BUSINESS!!! My eldest son lives with me after he split up with his partner, I'm widowed too, so he looks after my half acre garden and the house DIY jobs etc. and in return I feed him and look after the house. He gives me £120 housekeeping.

My daughter, aged 35, has always lived at home with her dad and me. She works for a law firm but she's currently working from home. Luckily she is no trouble and we all get on very well. When she isn't working (in her room) she's usually gaming or on her smartphone these covid days. We all watch Netflix together in the evenings.

"Your house, your rules" doesn't work so well when someone is terrified.
They have trouble adapting then.

You need a chat with your DD about her concerns re work and re your home.
Work out how things can be done to reduce her anxiety e.g. no offer of coffee to anyone, a system for dealing with post etc.

If she can become happier, due to some adjustments being made, won't that be worth it?

(Maybe she is worried for your health, btw, as well as her own.)

cabin fever with someone living with you

cabin fever and worse being alone,, in the real sense of the word...
just pondering... strange aren`t we?

Up until now I wouldn't have counted myself lucky to have a reclusive son, but nothing has changed much in his life. When not at work, he is holed up in his room quite happily.

LynG6 All sympathy. Your house, your rules. You sound as though you’re behaving perfectly reasonably under the lockdown and giving her plenty of support. BTW, as a teacher, your daughter should know that anti-bacterial spray doesn’t work against a virus.

Oh dear.She seems extremely anxious but also taking it out on you in the extreme.Have none of the staff in her school been in at all?Our DD has been in on a rota with all but the staff with shielded relatives taking their turn to supervise key workers children.Maybe that's helped keep a sense of perspective,not being away too long,and the reality is as a younger person the chances of serious illness are in reality still highly unlikely.How does she normally cope with work stress and life in general.Good luck talking to her.

SalsaQueen - I feel your pain !! Have adult son (39) temporarily living with us (2 weeks turned into 2 years - don't ask) he's working from his bedroom and OH (75) missing his bowls and other activities. Tensions can be very fraught at times - sometimes (most of the time actually) I feel like the proverbial ping pong ball - aah well this too shall pass