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You said it, matey!

(32 Posts)
merlotgran Mon 11-May-20 11:22:56

DH's health issues mean I tend to wait on him a bit too much for his own good!

Unable to do anything outside because you can hardly stand up in the wind he's mooching about (from his armchair) looking for something to do.

I had planned to spend this morning catching up with the ironing which hasn't been done since Christmas! Time flies when you're having fun. hmm

But....Himself has had me digging out the instruction manual for a water heater, ordering drill bits from Amazon, checking his prescription delivery date - in fact anything to prevent me from 'getting on.'

Good job I don't actually have the iron in my hand though as he's just requested, 'Something light for lunch please because I'm not getting much exercise at the moment!'

I've gone off ironing now. grin

Teetime Mon 11-May-20 11:24:29

Tell him your having a duvet day and do it!

Callistemon Mon 11-May-20 11:38:45

Does he like jigsaw puzzles?
They keep DH out of my hair occupied for hours.

merlotgran Mon 11-May-20 11:45:29

Hmmm. I could be shooting myself in the foot there, Calli.

DH has no peripheral vision so I can just picture the scene - and it won't be the one on the box lid.

'Do you think this bit's a tree or a potted plant?'

'Why is there so much sky? How am I supposed to tell one bit of blue from another?'

'Can you put the light on?'

'Any chance of a cuppa?'

'Oh dear, I've just dropped an essential corner bit. Would you mind?' hmm Better not answer that!

I think I'll just wait for the wind to die down and then direct him across the yard to his Man Shed. grin

Hetty58 Mon 11-May-20 11:49:00

I'd just tip him into a wheelbarrow and take him to the shed.

Then, padlock - problem solved!

Callistemon Mon 11-May-20 11:51:59

Oh, ok, I do recognise the scenario!
Although DH's vision is ok since he had his cataracts done I do get the occasional 'I don't think this piece belongs', 'there aren't enough edge pieces', 'can you do some of this sea/sky' etc.
And one piece was missing from a brand new puzzle - yes, I moved the furniture etc but we never found it!

HAZBEEN Mon 11-May-20 14:29:41

I have been perfecting "the Stare" even more since lockdown along with "the sigh"! He has responded with "I only asked" and " I am only saying"!

phoenix Mon 11-May-20 15:06:26

I thnk, Hazbeen , that you can add a few new moves to your repertoire, for example:

The sniff. Not so much anything to do with checking if anything has gone "off" or a runny nose. For a master class in perfecting The Sniff, check out Linda Snell in "The Archers"

The Shoulders this also incorporates some neck movement, think of it as Pilates for the quietly indignant. Lower and straighten your shoulders, while raising your head and elongating the neck.

Once perfected, these moves may have some effect, but if they dont, you might like to consider the Brisk Purposeful Walk For maximum effect, this should be done wearing shoes that can be heard as they make contact with any floor covering.

Slippers will not have the same impact, and could lead to tripping, which completely ruins the message you are trying to convey.

Once mastered, these moves can be combined.

Hope this helps.

maddyone Mon 11-May-20 15:18:26

phoenix grin

lemongrove Mon 11-May-20 15:26:26

Get him playing ipad games...jigsaws online, and good logic games like Monument Valley, will keep him amused for hours.
Alternatively.....teach him to knit!😁

phoenix Mon 11-May-20 15:26:36

Thank you maddyone!

HAZBEEN Mon 11-May-20 15:29:27

Thanks phoenix ! I will try to put the moves together! I bow to the wisdom of the Grans!

phoenix Mon 11-May-20 15:33:57

You're very welcome, Hazbeen, let us know how you get on wink

BBbevan Mon 11-May-20 15:35:25

merlotgran. Tell him he will get some exercise if he walks to the kitchen

merlotgran Mon 11-May-20 15:38:03

Thanks for the suggestions.

I dug out a tarte-tatin tin from the back of the cupboard which has gone rusty from lack of use and he's just spent a happy hour using a wire brush to take off all the old useless non-stick stuff and restore it to a bare tin.

Soon there will be a wonderful smell of burning oil in the kitchen while he seasons it.

I suppose I'll be expected to make a flipping tarte tatin now. grin

Goodbyetoallthat Mon 11-May-20 15:50:44

The sniff has really made me laugh Phoenix. Perhaps a Paddington " hard stare" could also add to the effect grin

phoenix Mon 11-May-20 15:54:03

Goodbyetoallthat, it would seem that Hazbeen has already got that one covered!

phoenix Mon 11-May-20 15:56:25

merlot perhaps he could prep the apples?

If you do make one, Please could you post me a slice or three? Happy to provide my own cream. grin

Oopsminty Mon 11-May-20 16:00:51

I don't think this piece belongs', 'there aren't enough edge pieces', 'can you do some of this sea/sky' etc.

We've been there so many times, Callistemon!

It's become a running joke in our household and our daughter purchased this jigsaw for us last Christmas!

www.amazon.co.uk/Gibsons-Missing-Piece-Jigsaw-Puzzle/dp/B078JZVWYQ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&s=kids&keywords=the+missing+piece&tag=gransnetforum-21&qid=1589209196&sr=1-1

Callistemon Mon 11-May-20 16:40:37

lemongrove I offered to teach DH how to crochet but he declined. I thought he'd be good at knots, too!

oopsminty that sums it up
Is my bottom that big? shock

phoenix Mon 11-May-20 16:54:16

Of course not, Callistemon, you are a slender, sylph like thing, as am I.

And may the Lord strike me blind if that isn't true.....hello, hello, I seem to be alone in the dark.........

NanKate Mon 11-May-20 17:30:28

Merlot I do sympathise my DH never stops working, he has done it all his life and now I am at home he asks me to help. I don’t have the excuse that I’m going out. This Lockdown has made me realise how busy he is and how lazy I am.

phoenix Mon 11-May-20 17:51:13

NanKate* may I refer you to my "I have discovered my default setting" thread?

You are not alone

Stay strong!

maddyone Mon 11-May-20 18:35:00

NanKate and phoenix
I’m in that club too. I have discovered my laziness. Nothing much to get up for but DH has been up since 6.30am. He puts me to shame as I spend far too much time on Gransnet.
My excuse is the surgery I had on my hand in January and it’s not recovered yet, which is actually true.

Callistemon Mon 11-May-20 18:39:42

I'm here, phoenix, have no fear,
oops, did we bump bottoms in the dark?