The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

Wot my Big Bruce! lins bring him back at once. ?
Lins you stick his Yorker back where it came from and send him back to me this minute.

Glad you've sobered up Doodle as I'm sending Big Bruce back, never touched him honest and as lemon says - envy is unpleasant.

Hmm. If your so keen to send him back I wonder who else you’ve got secreted away in your boudoir. ?. lemon have you seen George recently?

My knickers seem to be a source of hilarity and high-jinx. I get them from Pound Saver - a dozen pairs for a quid. A girl can never have too much of a good thing.

I expect you need to buy lots soop you certainly wear them out quickly ?

Unlike your sweet self Doodle.....who usually forgets to wear them at all!? Your table dancing days made us aware of that.
Still, you’ll do for me, rough as ye are.?

That was a compliment btw.

Thor and Kev didn’t turn up to work today, I have been slaving away all on my tod.....will someone take over the bar as am desperate!

I’m here to do a shift but can I have a new uniform lemon?

Need something to show off my anklet bracelets given to me by ...............oops, nearly fallen off my stilettoes ... (trotting off, seductively) ?? ?? ??

carillion those heels are soooo high. Mind you don’t bang your head on the ceiling. And just who exactly has been buying you ankle bracelets ..... lemon do a quick count of all the men. See who’s missing. ?

Doodle you know I’ll never disclose my sources under any circumstance ...oh alright then, as long as it’s a schooner of poteen....
it was someone with a long beard, salty sort of sea-dog, je ne said quoi after-shave and a wooden leg...

No you haven’t ?. * lemon* will be livid. ?

Not scared Doodle... so there ...saw the polaroid of you in your moulin rouge knickers and not much else that he had in his filo fax... loved the mermaid basque BTW ... Stella McCartney..??

No he didn’t keep that picture did he. What about the pictures of when we got stuck on that tropical island for a week when we were shipwrecked. He didn’t keep those did he? Not the ones with the coconuts and the banana ?

Doodle, you are a diva!!! Can I see those photos?? Pleeeeaaase? Promise I'll keep them safe (telephoning 'Hello' mag).
Ahhh! Back to work, your shift's starting soon. I'll have a double screwdriver please

Oh carillion you’re not going to try and fix that barstool again are you. Last time you screwed the legs on, one of them fell off again when soop sat on it and she ended up showing her unmentionables to all the punters ?

If those stilettos were any higher you'd need oxygen Carillion.
I have returned one of those stump thingies that the cricket team borrowed to the Admiral. See I'm a good girl I am ?

My reputation in the clean-living, well-managed kitchen of high repute, is besmirched. It appears that although I've been ducking and diving in this bar, often in disguise, my cover has been blown. The snug was meant to be the quieter, more lady-like annex - BUT - the rabble in there is a force to be reckoned with. I smell "weed". In spite of liberal sprays of Californian Poppy and that stuff you squirt around pongy places, I fear that the rozzers will get a whiff as they pass the open window, put their heads around the door and then what! I've come over all woozy.

Doodle, you know I'm no good with tools.
Lins taught me everything I know about screwdriving, she's to blame the expert, and she's the one who's been messing about with the Admiral's middle wicket ??

Doodle when you say ‘Soop’s unmentionables’ do you mean her pound shop big knickers? Some of the customers liked them??
Never fear Soop the rozzers are in here all the time ( we like the boys in blue) and they join in our shenanigans after a pint of poteen.

It’s quiet in here tonight....I shall sit on a bar stool ( if I can clamber up) and have a pernod on the rocks with a cherry and a yellow swizzle stick.?

Come on soop we all know what you’ve been baking in those ‘special’ cakes of yours.
You know most of the local constabulary turn a blind eye to the goings on in the Argy........well except for that time the Chief Inspector came to our fancy dress party as Madonna.
Lins no point trying to talk to Carillion she can’t hear you up there on those shoes. Your kindness to the Admiral is to be admired but the stump thingy is too short and he keeps falling over. Just prop him up against the bar and he’ll be fine.?

carillion I know you’re no good with the screwdriver. That light fitting you wired up the other day is now controlling the traffic lights at the crossroads. ?. As for lins messing with the Admirals middle wicket, he’s been giving a very wooden performance ever since. ?
Yes lemon I did mean soop’s pound shop knickers. I’m not surprised the punters like them, she keeps taking them off?. Are you sure you’re supposed to do that with a swizzle stick? It might come out the other end ?

Doodle I've just fallen off my stool with merriment. Who let him in? grin]

It’s an experiment Doodle ( the swizzle stick) as I am of a curious nature.☺️
Shall we start Happy Hour a bit early today.....we need the money, come on Soop dig deep in those overcoat pockets and start paying for your booze.