The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

In the meantime...help yourselves to my freshly cobbled cup thingies. They should resemble cakes. Sadly, the timer on the cooker failed to ping at the appropriate time. Ho hum.

Cobbled cup thingies sound good. Bit worried about these men in uniform who are comatose.

Can we get a wheelbarrow and take them away from the Argy Bar and leave them in a field somewhere to come round. They may have forgotten what happened to them with a bit of luck.

AGAA4 How about the wheelie bins. We have three out back. Best leave them (the threesome) somewhere safe. How about the cop shop?

Good idea soop. We can leave them on the step and run.

It strikes me there's never been any semblance of order in this bar, soop. The swear box needs a security guard, it's bursting at the seams. Maybe there's too much sugar on the menu and it's irritating everyone's nerve endings? Perhaps a compulsory afternoon nap would calm things... ZZZZZZZZZ

lizzy it’s lemon. She’s not here to restore order. Who is manning the bar? And why have we lost our wheelie bins. Ring the police someone. Our bins have been stolen ?

Arrrrgh! Now we are expecting a nice policeman to pop in to take down our statements re the missing wheelies. Where's the poteen? We'll offer him a light refreshment as he takes down our credentials/particulars. Any of last year's pork scratchings hiding under the counter? There may be trouble ahead...

We may have to clean up our act as they might have a police car outside with 2 undercover agents watching the Bar

I know nuffink!

Sorry! Have been missing in action for a few days, too complicated to explain, but as you can imagine, there was a man in the scenario!?
Now, let’s have a good old clean up before the evening customers drop in.There seem to be a lot of flies in here....what’s been going on?

soop you’ll never allow the police to take down your particulars will you ?. Which particulars are you wearing today? The black lacey ones, the red see through ones or the leather thong? ?

Someone left a load of manure outside the front door, £1 a bag and it’s attracting millions of flys.
We don’t want to get a bad reputation!

Hmm it’s not the local horse and hound group again is it. They often dump their business outside out door. ?
Go on buffy get outside and strut your stuff. There must be some gardeners out there that want some .......and they can take away a bag of manure as a free gift too ?

It’s not down to Chewbacca is it? All the manure? I mean not her personally ( there’s too much!) but from the sewage works, she was doing a shift there the other day.
I’ll stick a note on it saying it’s free, you know how people love something for nothing, then we’ll get rid of it all.???

We’ve just had a Monty Don on the phone, he’s calling round in the morning to collect the free manure.
I’ll entice him in with one of soops sausage and onion Muffins and see if he’ll stay for one or two!

Tell him to inspect the cellar Buffy ( then slam the door and lock it) until I get there.
Say there are some rare mushrooms you want him to see.
I do like a man in wellies.

Will do!!!
Oh he’s here now! —Swoon—?
I’ve done it..... he’s down there now looking for the rare mushrooms.
I’ve told him not to worry, the cellar door seems to be stuck.
Hurry up lemon!

Get out the way lemon I’m an expert on ....mushrooms.. I’ll have him first ?

Be careful how you handle the precious one Doodle!
We all just want to sit and watch him potting up and planting out, whilst smiling encouragingly at us all. swoon
Here! You can stroke his dog if you're desperate.

Ah! Enlightenment dawns, you mean Monty Don! I was thinking of George , heehee.
‘Ere, Doodle hurry up down there will you! You will all be delighted to know that George is back chained to the Nespresso machine.Monty is all yours for today.If he finds any mushrooms I’ll make a quiche.

Couldn’t find him lemon. I think he dug his way out. I found these mushrooms ? all together with a little note saying magic. I think that means they will be very good if baked in a quiche so I’ve left them in the kitchen for you ?

I caught Monty escaping Doodle, so I had to chain him up and bring him to safety. He's making a lovely job of my back garden and very cheap to keep, grows all his own veg.
I love a man who's good with his hands.

Don’t we all buffy ?

Thanks Doodle ? I will get baking right away.
Well done Buffy what with Monty being chained outdoors and George indoors, we will make a fortune ( rubs hands briskly and happily)?
Time for a Nespresso girls?

Hand orf Monty Don...he's mine...all mine.