Have an accident? No thanks, I’ve already had one!?

Many years ago when I was young I handed the glass bottle of tomato Ketchup to my older brother not realising the top was not screwed on. He gave it a violent shake and the
sauce flew out everywhere including all over him! Boy was he mad!! Blamed me of course.

Once when I was collecting DS from his little friends house I was shown into the kitchen by the little friend. The parents were sitting silently and glared at me. On the wall was a huge red dripping splatt where obviously a plate of spaghetti had just been thrown with force. Hard to say who had been the thrower. It wasn't mentioned at all. We made polite small talk and DS and I made a quick getaway. Talk about the elephant in the room.

Shortly after I downsized & was feeling particularly down, fed up, lonely, I cooked a Sunday lunch for One. Took it into the sitting room and placed on a tray, the type with polystyrene balls at the bottom which nestles into your lap, along with a large glass of red wine Glass toppled over so in panic I ran with the tray to the kitchen via the hall and dining room not realising that the wine was pouring through the bottom of the tray leaving a trail of red liquid over a pale gold carpet (not my choice, came with the house). It took me over 3 hours to work my way along the trail slooshing it with cold water and soaking up with my entire stock of towels, sobbing all the while. The lunch went in the bin. I still cry when I think about it ?

Oh Marmight! How awful, you poor thing! A 'losing the will to live' moment I suspect!! Hope all is well with you now. ? (?!!)

Before ex-husband and I were married, we were visiting my parents. Sitting at the table, mum asked him to open a jar of pickled red cabbage as the lid was tight. He opened it and the liquid shot out all over mum’s net curtains behind him. He was mortified, we all thought it was hilarious. It took him a long time to live it down.

Strange how it’s always funny when it happens to somebody else isn’t it??We are all guilty of it, I bet.
Mr L laughed a lot.....but not so much the time that he dropped a glass jar of honey on the tiled floor and had to clean it up all by himself.?

As an extremely clumsy person, I'm thoroughly enjoying this thread!!



Glad to know I'm not alone.

Has anyone ever taken the weight off a pressure cooker before it has cooled enough?
Don't!
You will get soup or whatever you're cooking all over the ceiling.

Red wine? Sloshing it with white wine helps get the stains out.

Someone did that to me once; I was trying to look intelligent and interested at a conference; I spilt my red wine down my cream top. Quick as a flash, DH's new boss threw his large glass of white wine at me. It did work.

That must have alarmed you though Callistemon ?

Jabberwok all is well thank you. The carpet eventually recovered with the help of Dr Beckmann’s miracle carpet cleaner. No more ? on a tray. Straight down the hatch!

My white tee and pale blue jeans came out of the wash with no stains!? Thanks to Tesco bio powder ( give credit where due.)

Jane10 didn't you ask your DS what had happened?

I did but he had been busy playing and knew nothing. He was an innocent wee soul.

At least it probably wasn't him then!

lemongrove It's an understatement to say I was very startled.

Pressure cookers are scary. My mum would never have one after a friend had a terrible accident with one.

It was DH's boss throwing a glass of white wine at me which startled me!

I don't use the pressure cooker now.

I've killed off two pressure cookers (burnt out) but they've never done me any harm. I learnt to use my mum's as a teenager, usually preparing Saturday lunch, and have always had one until my recent mishaps.

When I was 12 a boy in my class invited me to tea. His mum cooked us fish fingers and chips. I cut into a fish finger and a big chunk of it fell on the floor. Nobody noticed so I quietly bent down and put in my short white sock where it stayed for the rest of the meal. Can't remember when I took it out.

These stories have really made me laugh. Thanks everybody.

Some years ago, my daughter coined the phrase "I´ve just ketchuped myself", which we use to this day. As in saying to the grandchildren "careful, you don´t ketchup yourself". Though the best one was a neighbour´s child taking a jar of honey off a top shelf and slowly drizzling herself in honey.

I've always used a pressure cooker, though not so much these days, but always treated them with extreme caution!
Finally, from me, I remember my mother did a wonderful stew in the oven in a pyrex bowl! She carried it by the handles and half way between the kitchen and the dining room the bottom fell out of the bowl!!!! Stew everywhere, boiling hot, guests for lunch, and me frozen tothe spot!!! I can't remember anything else but apparently even the dog wouldn't help clear up, too spicy I expect!! I've always been cautious with ovenproof glass!! Actually I think most of my culinary life has been viewed with extreme caution!!!

Never had a pressure cooker, am obviously of a nervous disposition!
Red wine accidents abound don’t they? A friend once knocked over a large glass ( full) on my white damask tablecloth.She was so embarrassed ( there were other guests there) but the tablecloth never recovered.?

Loving this thread, thanks all.

We’ve had our fair share of red wine or port going everywhere thanks to someone’s expansive arm-flung gesture. Wine No More from Lakeland or John Lewis is a miracle cure, truly it is.

My most embarrassing moment with wine was in a supermarket some years ago. I was in the centre of the wine aisle and reached up to take a bottle from the top shelf - I’m not very tall, so it was a bit of a stretch. As I took the bottle down, it touched the ones either side, each of which leaned precariously against its neighbour which fell. It was slow motion disaster. They went like dominoes right and left along the top shelf. At each end, the next shelf was a little longer, so they too fell like dominoes.

I was transfixed, horror struck. Staff raced to me from all directions, more worried about injuries to me from flying glass than interested in the lake of wine around me. I still cringe at the memory of those first bottles starting to fall.....

I was once served Pears in Red wine with Icecream for dessert at a posh dinner party. The only problem was that the hostess had forgoten to core and cut the pears in half before serving, and the only cutlery remaing on the table was a desert spoon and a small fork. When I tried to cut into the pear using the side of my spoon, the whole thing flirted across the table, staining the white linen demask tablecloth on its way, and finally landing on the floor at the side of the Hostess. Then the same thing happened to her husband, who was not ammused and gave her a firm ticking off for forgetting to poach the pears first rather than just leaving them to soak raw for several hours in the Red wine!

Julia although that was a disaster all round, I felt sorry reading it for the hostess! Bet that was something she never forgot ?