Good Morning Everyone from S.of France where we’re promised another glorious day.
I’m here with some concern/a rant about a dear friend in England. She lost her DP about 3 years ago, he had a massive Stroke on the kitchen floor and suffered locked-in syndrome for some weeks before he died in hospital. She struggled terribly after that with her mental health. She was so sad and lost interest in any recovery or future for herself. Since then, and without any real effort or care on the part of her 4 Daughters (who must be the most self-centred bunch of wasters I have ever heard about) and they live just over 100 miles from my friend, she has struggled to regain her normal life. She has had many bouts of illness, as well as depression and a lot of anxiety since her DP’s death, due to her being involved in quite a serious accident when her car was struck in the side at speed by another motorist. Gradually she has recovered her interest in reading. Her knowledge of history and the world, of politics etc., is second to none. She listens to music and the radio, plays the piano and cares for a beautiful sunken garden in a coastal town where she lives.
Just before the lockdown, and having suffered a number of falls, she was diagnosed with a cyst on her brain. That’s what she has told me. A GP’s advice after some hospital tests was that she could either “leave it and see what happens” or go for some further tests and see a Consultant in order for some possible options to be explored, maybe surgery but with no guarantee that her balance etc., would improve. That there might be other risks (naturally!)
Lockdown happened. She was essentially isolated and marooned. No car, (wheedled out of her by a GC) afraid to walk along a lane into the town etc., I spoke to her one evening and after that I trawled the ‘Net to find that her town had just started up a Volunteer Covid support group. Someone answered the ‘phone at 7.30 on a Saturday evening and promised someone would visit her the following day. And they did! I was blown away at the kindness and care - and so was she. She ultimately was able to get (in a new and confusing situation for everyone) meds, food, even a ‘paper organised.
As a vulnerable but previously active 85 year old, this current situation has been her undoing. She is isolated - she has neighbours who are shielding and the only calls she gets from any of her Daughters are to establish whether she is still alive. She knows and believes this and never minces words with regard to their selfishness and greed over the years. Her falls are increasing, she is very sad and down and admits that she now feels very sorry for herself. Calls to her Surgery have enabled her to have two conversations - both with different GP’s who have told her that at the age she is, it would probably be better not to think about having her problems followed up by a Consultant.!!!!!! She has been prescribed tranquillisers and a drug which I well know causes falls and is deemed as being something which can actually increase the risks of death in the elderly! A chemical cosh, really. Something which is banned in the USA and something which I have had fleeting experience of within my own family. So she just waits....for what? Her mood veers between philosophical and panic stricken. I receive a sporadic mail or sometimes a call. When I phoned her last, she didn’t want to speak and although I understood that, it made me so upset because all I want to do is help her fix the b$**!y problem and give her some life back. Who gets to decide who lives and who dies in this life? Doctors have absolutely no right to play God and be so dismissive with someone who is isolated and whose life has been turned upside down due to a pandemic. She’s not in ICU for heaven’s sake - so why should she just have to accept that her life and a return to anything approaching that must now be over.
I can’t telephone her surgery because I am not even family. I don’t know her family, but I do know that in all the years that we lived near to each other, she has said that they only have eyes on her beautiful listed cottage. I can’t to go England and engage in (successful) unarmed combat with Doctors or Adult Social Care as I once did for my own Mother. I’m powerless to even have a conversation with anyone who might help and I feel I am letting her down so badly.
I wrote to her in the most positive way that I could. She says my mails always cheer her, but I know that I am just repeating old hackneyed phrases because I am not actually doing anything to help her situation.
Sorry/not sorry for this outburst. I just feel that I am sitting here betraying her. I know how many of you on this thread are really suffering, especially with regard to promised ongoing treatment, so I suppose I just hoped that you will understand the plight of my friend.
Wishing you all some light in your day if you are down and worried and some sunshine and distraction - until freedom.
Hugs x 
. Housework and start some patchwork, I think. 