Did any GNs know a school bully?

There were several nasty bullies at my all girls Grammar school; I read on the website that one died a few weeks ago and it did feel strange to realise she was no longer around, possibly still behaving just as badly at sixty odd as she had at fifteen. I did however have a moment of triumph; I avoided the physical bullies but was the butt of relentless nasty comments by two slim girls who were pretty. I was overweight, shy, had a brace and glasses. When we attended the prize giving after leaving, I had managed a transformation in that few months. I lost weight, got contact lenses, the braces had come off and on that night I had a stylish Biba dress and my older cousin did a stunning makeup job, complete with false eyelashes. I sailed past the bullies who literally whipped round for another look. Not exactly revenge, but it was so sweet!

Friends at high school talked about being bullying, when we met up years later. So I was really lucky not to have been affected by it.
I did witness bullying amongst pupils when I was a secondary school teacher. The school dealt well with it
However it would be good if bullies were seriously mentored and closely monitored as soon as the problem is noticed. Sometimes the bullies were punished or expelled without a serious change.
Some went on to murder, which is disturbing when we have acess to these people for approx 11 years.
That is why I feel constant mentoring may be a way forward.

GladysP2

Would any of you confront your bullies 40 years later? The girl that bullied me physically, daily aged 11, is now part of a Facebook school reunion page that I’m on. The sight of her profile picture makes me feel physically sick and brings back awful memories.
I want her to know the damage that she did, I’m still angry that no one cared at the time. Would it help to message her or should I just let it lie?

Go for it. It could bring you closure.

Oddly enough I have met more would-be bullies in my adult life than I did at school and simply will not tolerate that sort of behaviour. People are surprised because I am known to be calm steady and dependable but if I spot someone trying to bully another person, they won't know what has hit them.I am quite capable of standing up for myself but I don't like confrontation. However there is quite a temper lurking within, I don't often show it but when I do bullying ceases very quickly. It is not physical but verbally cold, .cutting and
incisive.

There was a girl at my primary school who could (and did) make your life hell. She was a real little queen bee and everything revolved around HER. If she took against you - as she did with each of us in turn on a whim - she'd decide to "break friends" and the rest of the gang had to follow suit and ignore you, leaving her victim with no-one to hang out with. I hated her and was scared of her but the rest of the crew were fun. One of the happiest days of my life was when the 11+ results came through and I was going to a grammar school different from the one she was going to. Years on, another girl from that group and I met up and agreed she'd been pretty much a psychopath. I remember her name. Strangely she ended up as the head teacher of a primary school. When I heard this my first thought was: those poor children.

I was bullied from juniors to about age 15.
The girl in the juniors had several brothers and wore grey socks to school, I wore white knee high socks and as soon as I arrived at school, she would put the sole of her shoes up both sides of my socks to make them dirty. Mt mother used to say she couldn't understand how my socks were so dirty every day and so she bought me grey and navy socks to wear and the white socks were banned.
When I was 12, a girl used to knock me to the ground every morning when I arrived at school, by running at me and jumping on me.

Interesting that no-one has admitted to being a bully!
I still feel defensive around the girl who (I felt) bullied me at primary school, and we're now in our mid-70s.
I wasn't told at the time that her mother was dying. I think that even then, I would have been understanding. Were parents at that time unwilling to tell children about serious illnesses or death?

I’ve noticed that there’s a pattern emerging from these stories revealed on here.

Those who said that they stood up to the bully, sometimes by hitting them, found that the bullying stopped.

Ok we all know that ideally we should never hit anyone, but if it means it’s the only way to put a bully in his or her place then in my opinion it’s justified.

~I hated school for this reason, bullying was rife and nothing was done about. Couldnt wait to leave and would never attend a school reunion as I wouldnt enjoy it!

GladysP2 what an unfortunate circumstance. The temptation to say something must be strong but it might bring repercussions that would make things worse. If she decided to publish your private comments in the group, how would you feel?
If you are in that group and enjoy it except for her picture, then you could block her posts and just avoid looking out for her.
If you don’t enjoy the group for other reasons, then you have the option to leave.

My grown up son was bullied for being dyslexic at school and even though he has done well in business it has affected his personality and given him a slightly defensive edge. He says the bullying made him more determined to do well but I regret not moving him out of the school at the time.

I agree with Grannynannywanny.

Talk about mental health issues in children nowadays. Reading this thread makes you realise how many ‘issues’ we all had years ago, but it was different times, different attitudes,

I was bullied by the PE teacher who was fairly nasty to everyone but much more so to me - perhaps because I was small and no good at her subject.
Being small and quiet did me no favours as I also attracted bullies in my early working life. Touch wood, I haven't been bullied for years so I must have gained more confidence over the years and toughened up a bit.

I don't remember being bullied but I moved around a lot. I went to one school when I was 5 for a few months and they laughed at me because we had a slate and chalk and I could only get one sum on the slate. They had been taught to write really small so they could get all their sums on it. My mum took me away before the time was up as we were between moves and I was really unhappy.

I guess I was lucky because I don’t recall much of a problem with bullying at my school and I had a nice group of friends who I still see to this day.

It’s surprising how we often discuss our school days and talk about the slightly aggressive self confident girls who we tended to avoid!

I remember being in awe of some who seemed so grown up and sophisticated.

All in all I have happy memories of grammar school but despite that I was eager to leave and get a job and to just get out in the world!

What awful stories, almost unbelievable! I went to an all girls Grammar school and we all sat at desks in twos facing the front. I had to sit across the aisle to a nasty girl, nothing physical, but snide sarcastic comments all the time said quietly so no one else could hear. I don't know why she targeted me but I hated her but as I was quiet and small, not street wise, I had no idea how to deal with it and it did not occur to me to tell my parents. It is true you never forget it. Next to her sat her "best friend" a quiet girl good at games. Years later I met the "best friend" and I went up and spoke to her. She was so nice and told me how much she hated school, and that her friend (the bully) had died age 27 of cancer.

I was bullied by a girl at Grammar School. I was then very meek and mild, and small! Many years later I attended a school reunion and was talking with one of the boys (then in his fifties) and mentioned this to him. He then told me that this girl had been in court for abusing her own children. Maybe some people never grow out of bullying!

In secondary school we had a new girl come to our school who was confident and cheeky. She was also smelly. She used to take off her school hat and plonk it on our heads. We soon found out she had nits and was deliberately infecting us all. When the school nurse treated us for nits none of us told how Lilian had infected us. Was she a bully,?

At my primary school there was a boy called John who frightened the life out of the girls by chasing us round the playground with his penknife. I had to walk past his house on the way to school and often had to run fast or take detours to avoid him.
Eventually my mother went to see his parents and complained strongly which did improve John for a while as they took his penknife away. But he chased me whenever he could, with or without penknife, and I hated him.
At 11 I went on to a girls grammar school where there was absolutely no bullying. John's family moved house and I never saw him again.
Many years later I took my young children to a Santa's Christmas Grotto in a big shop in town, and was very surprised when Santa looked at me and said "Hello ***"
I stared through his beard trying to recognise him but couldn't, so he told me that he was John's father, and then said he was sorry how John had frightened me so much when we were children, and that John had grown up into a nice adult and was married with children of his own.

Yes. His name was Russell. He had an open expression and clear grey eyes but his speciality was giving girls Chines burns. My revenge had been to give two characters in my books who were bullies the name Russell. I often wonder if his grandchildren have read them and if he recognises my name, which I didn't change on marriage.

Would any of you confront your bullies 40 years later? The girl that bullied me physically, daily aged 11, is now part of a Facebook school reunion page that I’m on. The sight of her profile picture makes me feel physically sick and brings back awful memories.
I want her to know the damage that she did, I’m still angry that no one cared at the time. Would it help to message her or should I just let it lie?

Yes, there was a bully in my class, but we were sufficient number of us in the class who ignored her, so she didn't get very far.

I had the added advantage of two long plaits, plaited by my mother, so they were hard. I discovered if I stood in front of a girl who was trying to bully and turned my head sharply, my plaits slapped her face.

I couldn't be told off for turning my head smartly either.

It tended to stop bullies.

Oh yes-Lynne B , Lyn A and Dorothy W still remembered after all this time. The only good it did me is that, when I was called into school after my daughter responded to bra strap twanging and hair pulling in the same way EllenVannin did,
I said that I wholeheartedly supported the school when they said she should be excluded for 2 days But that I expected in future that they would deal with the persistent bullying that had been going on resulting in her outburst.
She was not excluded, they were dealt with. I wish I’d gone in earlier but my DD always said she was dealing with it and thought my complaints might make it worse.

Oooops sorry, I attended an infant school!!!!!!!!! ??????

I attended all fantastic school some distance away from my home but close to my gran, as mum worked I would go to grans after school. When I was 7 I could go to the junior school much closer to home, but I didn't know anyone! After a few months a got to know some other children one of whom was very domineering. One playtime she announced "we are all going to play with the friends we knew at out last school" ! Naturally, they all came from the feeder infant school and all knew each other; I knew no one and was mortified by this girls actions! I have never forgiven her.