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Has anyone attended a school reunion

(80 Posts)
Judy54 Mon 15-Jun-20 14:11:36

Have you attended a school reunion and what was your experience good or bad. I have maintained contact with 2 people from my school days and we all get on well. The three of us went to a reunion a few years ago and found it anything but enjoyable. We felt like our lives were on show and that it was a competition to see who had done best. Could not wait to leave and would not do it again. Never heard from or kept contact with those we met at the reunion.

Tangerine Mon 15-Jun-20 14:14:54

Yes, I went to one when I was 50. I met up with someone I used to be really friendly with when at school and we have re-started our friendship.

I enjoyed seeing people I had not seen for 34 years although many of them now lived far away so I shan't be keeping in touch.

All in all, it was a positive experience. It wasn't competitive at all and I'm sorry your experience was not good.

felice Mon 15-Jun-20 14:56:07

I received one about 20 years ago via my Mother, I would be in Scotland at the time and she could just not understand why I did not want to go.
She was a bully and a control freak and did not get that I did not wish to see people who had bullied me unmercifully for my entire school life.
Until my DBF friend pointed out that I had done very well and definately had bragging rights. He is nosey and had done a bit of research on the bullies.
I still did not go, partners were not invited, if he had been with me perhaps !!!!!!!!!!

janeainsworth Mon 15-Jun-20 15:00:07

Yes, I’ve been to quite a few and enjoyed them very much.
Not competitive at all, everyone seemed so nice and several old friendships renewed.

Ellianne Mon 15-Jun-20 15:07:18

I've heard they're a hot bed for rekindling teenage romances! Probably for those 20 years younger than I am. Shame. smile

AGAA4 Mon 15-Jun-20 15:23:16

No. I have never been to one but sometimes think of my old school friends and wonder what they are doing now.

Alexa Mon 15-Jun-20 15:35:38

Judy, that must have been an absolutely terrible experience!

Some people's childhood friends are lifelong friends as they see each other and communicate regularly. But that is an entirely different set of circumstances from a 'school reunion'.

"Reunion "is a misnomer as such an artificial meeting cannot reunify people who no longer have anything in common . I can't imagine what a school reunion of people who never see each other for years , is for. What good can it possibly do?

Like AGAA4 I do sometimes wonder what people with whom I never kept up a friendship are doing and so forth. However if we met I'd not expect any more than small talk.

Judy54 Mon 15-Jun-20 17:30:41

Yes Alexa I am so lucky to have 2 childhood friends who have been my lifelong friends. We do have a lot of experiences between us and have grown together. I do so agree that reunion is a misnomer and when we went along to this get together we had absolutely nothing in common with the people we met which is probably why it was not a great experience for us. Lovely for people who can resurrect old school friendships but not for us.

janeainsworth Mon 15-Jun-20 21:21:09

"Reunion "is a misnomer as such an artificial meeting cannot reunify people who no longer have anything in common

Of course people who have been together at school for 7 years have something in common, Alexa - the fact that they went to the same school and have lots of shared history.

Fortunately the reunions I have been to only seemed to attract bright, sociable people who enjoy talking to others and hearing about their experiences.
They have that in common, too.

BlueSky Mon 15-Jun-20 21:26:25

Yes I've been to one. Oddly the girls were all recognisable, just older, while the boys nothing like I remembered them!

V3ra Mon 15-Jun-20 21:42:52

A couple of years ago I found a Facebook Messenger post from an old school friend asking if she had the right person (she would only have known my maiden name) and that our old gang had regularly kept in touch and had been looking for me for years!
I replied to say yes it was me, and filled her in briefly on my career and family circumstances.
I never heard from her again 🤣

grannyticktock Mon 15-Jun-20 22:22:40

I once went to a school reunion, when I was about 50. What struck me was that the girls I knew in my teens (and in most cases had never seen since then) were basically the same people they always were. I think we had all mellowed a little, but the basic personality traits were unchanged: genuineness, vanity, kindness, arrogance, warmth, snobbery, shyness , etc. I enjoyed seeing everyone and discovering this.

BlueBelle Mon 15-Jun-20 22:35:24

I ve organised one five years ago
Out school was quite small about 250 pupils and I managed to get together 72 Of us together so that was pretty good we had a really good evening with lots of memories two teachers turned up and a past head girl older than me was about 80 and who had a very ‘colourful’ life
I lost touch with most of my school friends a few years after I left and married and moved away from town and subsequently UK for a good while but about 15 years ago I caught up with two we started meeting up and it has now grown into 16 of us that meet every month for lunch
It’s really nice

JenniferEccles Mon 15-Jun-20 22:35:31

No I haven’t but I would love to.

It would be so interesting to see what the very confident, self-assured girls had made of their lives!

My friends and I were the quiet ones and were quite in awe of those who seemed quite sophisticated!

I am still friends with three from school and we have all said we would let each other know if one of us heard of a reunion.

We all still live within 25 miles of each other and meet up each year which is lovely.

BlueBelle Mon 15-Jun-20 22:41:15

I should add our school was primary and senior In one so most of us that meet up have known each other since we were 4/5 (70 odd years) some haven’t change a fraction sone I wouldn’t have recognised

geekesse Mon 15-Jun-20 22:48:32

I was a scholarship pupil at an expensive girls’ boarding school. I was bullied by teachers and abused by my boarding housemistress. The headmistress was vicious, humiliating me almost daily in corridors for being a ‘charity case’. It was pure hell. My recurring nightmare for thirty years was having to go back to school.

The only person who was kind to me was the chaplain, and when he died about fifteen years after I left, I went to his funeral. There I bumped into a woman who had briefly taught me, and was persuaded to go to the annual reunion to confront the pain of the past.

Just driving into the town gave me a panic attack, and I had to stop the car to be sick in a lay-by. Once there, I saw my old headmistress, now a frail, elderly lady, who was badly affected by a stroke. She couldn’t speak properly and she dribbled as she tried to drink tea. I looked down at this pathetic woman, and I was glad - glad that she couldn’t hurt me again, and glad that she was now humiliated by old age.

I wish I could be charitable and forgiving, but I can’t find a shred of compassion, even now when she is long dead.

FindingNemo15 Mon 15-Jun-20 23:10:03

I was in a class of 16 girls. On leaving school we all said we would keep in touch, tell everyone where we worked, when we got engaged, when we married, when we had children, when we moved, etc. Nobody bothered, well not with me anyway.

Whitewavemark2 Tue 16-Jun-20 03:15:40

Yes a few years ago now. I went to a girls school, no co-Ed in my day!! I am ashamed to say that I couldn’t remember names or faces except those of my group of girls that I knew at school.

I quite enjoyed it, but wouldn’t repeat it. It was enjoyable on one level, learning about individual success and interests, but on another level apart from school we largely had nothing in common as our lives had not touched since school.
I am still in touch with one but that is all.

geekesse your post sounded quite dreadful. How sad for your young self, and appalling that it still seems to affect you so badly.

sukie Tue 16-Jun-20 04:00:04

Having moved far away from the area I grew up in long ago, I've only been able to attend twice in almost 50 years. I did enjoy seeing everyone and hearing about their lives and families. As someone up thread pointed out, the girls seemed mostly the same but I didn't recognize many of the men. Thanks to email, texting and phone calls, I'm in daily contact with my dearest friend since aged 10 and we are able to visit in person about twice a year. Neither of us have kept in touch with any other classmates.

Grammaretto Tue 16-Jun-20 05:41:13

I was persuaded to go to a reunion when our year turned 50.
It was a boarding school but I was only there for my final 2 years.
I was apprehensive beforehand but I had heard that 3 of our class had died so it felt important.
It was actually lovely and as someone has said the same traits were there but there was no visible competition anymore and we thought about those who were absent.
Lots of laughter and talking. Some girls (it was all girls) were now doctors, a museum director, a UN advisor, a farmer, a restauranteur, a journalist, a teacher. Photos came out. Much wine was drunk.
I am vaguely in contact with a few on Facebook and I still see my best school friend about once a week.
Sorry about your horrible experience geekesse
Just yesterday I joined a fb group for my primary school. I wonder why. Was it curiosity or nostalgia? Or perhaps it was the shock of DD telling me she had been miserable and lonely at her school and had had no friends. and it was my fault

CorneliaStreet Tue 16-Jun-20 06:15:03

I went there once when it was 20th anniversary or something like that. I can't say I enjoyed it because I've never been friends with anyone from my school, really. There were nice people and they werenice to communicate with but I had no best friends or people I would definitely love to see or people I'd miss. It was funny, tho, people were bragging about how successfull they were and everybody tried to outshine others (me included). The part I REALLY enjoyed was the food, haha! They also hired a photographer for us to recreate the pictures from our old yearbook, it was quite funny, too. We got them a week later in digital form and I even asked my DD to do a photo collage with my old picture and the new once. She was to busy, so I had to do it myself with the help of some collage making program grin. It was nice, yes.
In general, I don't think you will miss something if you don't go, because if you didn't have good friend or people you would love to see, the will be nothing interesting for you.

Bellasnana Tue 16-Jun-20 06:44:42

Yes, I went to one which would have been 25 years after leaving school when we were about 40 years old. It also happened to be the centenary of the ‘Old girls association’, so there was quite a gathering from various year groups and a very nice lunch put on with a marquee to accommodate us all.

I didn’t really enjoy my school days. I attended an all-girls independent school and never felt I was clever enough, plus I suffered from excruciating anxiety , but I have kept in touch with eight of my old friends, some of whom started school with me aged 5.

It was a really enjoyable day! We were astonished by how many of our former teachers were there as they all looked ancient to us when the taught us! It was also a surprise to recognise virtually everyone even after all those years.

We had a tour of the school and much hilarity remembering past times and sitting in our old desks, some of which, I swear, were still the same.

Not sure I would do it again, but I was glad I went and there was certainly no hint of anyone showing off or anything like that. We were all just pleased to see each other and feel the ‘sisterhood’ of having spent between 7-13 years being educated together.

RosesAreRed21 Tue 16-Jun-20 09:45:56

While I love keeping in touch with old school friends on social
Media I have no desire At all to go to a school reunion

NotSpaghetti Tue 16-Jun-20 09:53:02

I have no interest in this. I didn't keep in touch with anyone when I left school and moved on to a new adult life. I found new friends forged through shared interests. Yes I had an averagely happy time at school and plenty of "school friends" but we were all very diferent by the time we left.

Why would I want to re-visit this I wonder? Surely if the relationships had been stronger then would have survived for longer?

inishowen Tue 16-Jun-20 09:55:34

I would hate it. We were all young and beautiful at school and the boys were handsome. I want to remember them that way.