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Has anyone attended a school reunion

(81 Posts)
Judy54 Mon 15-Jun-20 14:11:36

Have you attended a school reunion and what was your experience good or bad. I have maintained contact with 2 people from my school days and we all get on well. The three of us went to a reunion a few years ago and found it anything but enjoyable. We felt like our lives were on show and that it was a competition to see who had done best. Could not wait to leave and would not do it again. Never heard from or kept contact with those we met at the reunion.

Coconut Tue 16-Jun-20 11:18:39

I was contacted last year by 2 old school friends who were arranging a reunion. They were made up with me, as I was still in regular contact with 5 other school friends. One flew over from Spain and we had a fabulous reunion, it was just amazing to see all the girls again and listen to their life stories, even tho some were very sad .... that’s life tho and at least we are all here to tell the tale.

Craftycat Tue 16-Jun-20 11:19:18

Yes - it was my primary school. It was nice to see how everyone had turned out. My best friend & I went together & being a fiesty woman she saw the teacher who had terrified us all back in the day. A truly awful woman who should never have been allowed near children. I remember her pulling my cousin off the stage & tearing her blouse & bruising her arm badly. I had a strange illness every Friday afternoon - which was when she taught us needlework. Local doctor csaid he saw it all the time in children from our school & the woman was a menace.
My friend went up to this, now old small little woman & gave her such a dressing down. The whole hall went quiet & applauded when she was finished. The ex teacher hurried out.
My friend then burst into
tears & said she had waited all these years to do that.
It was brilliant.

deanswaydolly Tue 16-Jun-20 11:20:06

I went to one and cannot say it was enjoyable. There were so many undercurrents. It later came out that those who were in charge of organising it did so as an excuse to have their annual affair! Also unless you looked very healthy, wealthy and young you were out of place. Plus everybody bragging about their work, where their second homes were, what cars they now drove and lifestyles whereas I was just going to show off my children and grandchildren lol

timetogo2016 Tue 16-Jun-20 11:20:48

Not for me.
Leave the past where it belongs.

icanhandthemback Tue 16-Jun-20 11:31:56

I went to one about 15 years ago and now a group of about 8 of us meet up annually for a meal and an afternoon of natter. I love the afternoons of nostalgia and learning about these people all over again. I find it interesting because at school I never felt that I fitted in which is why I never kept in touch and it was a Boarding School where I was terribly unhappy. I was so wrapped up in my depression that a lot went on that I never noticed or understood and in some ways it is illuminating to find out that I wasn't alone in those feelings.

TATT Tue 16-Jun-20 11:48:03

I went to one years ago, probably about 25 years after I left the school. I seemed to remember more people than remembered me, which burst my bubble a bit! I can’t say that I overly enjoyed it, as I had nothing in common with most of them, unfortunately. Nobody I was closer to attended, which was a shame. I’m sure that it would have been a very different evening if they had. There was one teacher that I couldn’t place at all, which was not surprising as it turned out he was one of the pupils. My brother came with me, as his year was there as well. Neither of us made the effort to go to subsequent ones!

Lexisgranny Tue 16-Jun-20 11:51:43

A group of school friends have met every summer for many years. The size of the group varies but I don’t think there have ever been less than 12 and many times up to 16. We were mainly all in the same year at High School. Some stayed local, others travel to be there. I don’t believe there is any competition between us. We reminisce about school days and update each other on our families, and life in general. Several are now great grandmothers. In some cases our children and grandchildren know each other. Our lunch often runs into the late afternoon, and all of us throughly enjoy the day....well we must do, we go back year after year! Maybe it’s because it is a reunion of friends rather than the broader term of school reunion.

luluaugust Tue 16-Jun-20 11:55:43

I went to one about 20 years ago when six of us from a secretarial course decided to meet up. We had been together for 2 years from 15 to 17. Five of us got settled and started exchanging life stories, all very interesting, then the 6th lady arrived and her story was a very sad one and difficult to deal with out of the blue. Nobody suggested meeting again but I have stayed in touch with one of the others.

Grammaretto Tue 16-Jun-20 11:59:10

deanswaydolly I had avoided any previous ones for that very reason. I was afraid but the one I went to was just our year, organised by a girl I had shared a bedroom (dormitory) with for a year and I went because she asked me and it was fine. No bragging at all. A bit of gossip but mostly we toured the school, noting how it has changed and the pupils there now are so sophisticated and confident.

No dorms any more - it was now single or twin rooms with en suites and Laura Ashley decor. In our day it was a saggy mattresses, no heating, a chair and a bible! The bathroom was on another floor and you could have a shallow bath twice a week.
Only one of us old scholars had sent her own DD there. Only one was rich enough! grin

But truly we didn't want to send our DC away. Why would we?

paperbackbutterfly Tue 16-Jun-20 12:33:30

Yes, I wish I hadn't. People I remembered as friendly, funny and good mates now seemed to be determined to prove how they had been more successful in life. It was an evening of out bragging each other. I said little and left early.

Freeandeasy Tue 16-Jun-20 12:52:48

Interesting post. No, I haven’t been to one. I left school in 1972 and on the day I left we moved to another town. I had a small group of school friends but only kept in touch with one. I went on to secretarial college and she went abroad to work as a nanny. We met up again in our 20s when she came home and we were each other’s bridesmaids. But then she divorced her first husband, married again and moved to Spain and I never heard from her again (not even a Christmas card). I’ve met quite a lot of people over the years who have instantly recognised me but I didn’t recognise them. I recognised their names but not their faces. I can’t visualise things like most people. I tried hypnosis once but I was a lost cause as I couldn’t imagine myself in a beautiful garden, beach or rain forest! After many years I discovered that I suffer from a condition called aphantasia which means you only see darkness when you try to imagine anything (google it - I had to). Suffer is the wrong word, as I don’t SUFFER from it - it’s just as it is - a bit like colour blindness. I can’t even picture my then best friend so certainly wouldn’t recognise her if I met her now. A few years ago I discovered a Facebook page of ex class mates in the 70s. The funny thing is that I remembered all the names, even those that I wasn’t particularly friendly with but couldn’t visualise them, even when they posted old photos. If I went to a reunion I wouldn’t recognise anyone.

It’s strange, isn’t it? When I was having new curtains made a couple of years ago the wife of the shop owner instantly recognised me! Well over 40 years since she last saw me! She was a year above me in school but we used to travel on the same bus. Again, I recognised her maiden name but not her. I can remember vividly the names from school, college, places where I’ve worked but not faces. Sometime I wish I could. My partner was very surprised when he asked me not to visualise a green apple or a large elephant because if you’re told NOT to visualise something you can’t help but see it. My partner was amazed I couldn’t. As I said, it’s not an affliction but it just is. I actually thought that everyone is like this. I’ve done some research and have discovered that about 10% of the population has it.

Sorry, I know I’ve gone a bit off topic, but no, I haven’t attended a school reunion because what would be the point? ha ha.

Paperbackwriter Tue 16-Jun-20 13:00:38

I went to one a few years ago at the local pub. It was friendly and good fun but I didn't understand why everyone was so old. Oh...

annodomini Tue 16-Jun-20 13:11:56

No, I haven't. For one thing, I live too far from my roots nowadays and for another, the school web site seems to indicate that a lot of people from my year have emigrated far afield, even further than me - I'm only in England.

cupcake1 Tue 16-Jun-20 14:50:55

No thank you!! I could think of nothing worse- all that ‘peacocking’ would make me want to vomit!!

Judy54 Tue 16-Jun-20 16:16:21

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories both happy and sad. So interesting to hear other people's experiences.

Peardrop50 Tue 16-Jun-20 16:58:41

I did go to my year reunion 20 years ago when we were all 50. I enjoyed chatting to most but a few seemed determined to settle old scores, real and perceived, fortunately not with me but uncomfortable to witness nevertheless, put me off any further gatherings. However reading some of these posts I now see that perhaps some of it was cathartic for those who felt aggrieved.
I am fascinated by your post Freeandeasy. I think I may have the same thing. I know what an apple and an elephant look like but cannot conjure up a picture of either. Cannot picture the proverbial golden sands and lapping sea although clearly I know what they are. Your post promoted an interesting discussion with Mr P who wanted to know how I designed the lay out of our house or decided I wanted certain colour schemes if I couldn't visualise. Hard to explain but I know how things will look and what I would like even though conjuring up a picture doesn't happen
I can't bring forward a picture of my friends but I know them when I see them so don't understand your problem with reunions as once given a name you would associate that face with that name and associated memories at least for the rest of the evening.
As I say it fascinates me.

Fennel Tue 16-Jun-20 17:14:57

I haven't been to one as I moved away ages ago, but recognised the name of an old classmate from 70 years ago on a local history forum.
I contacted him and we had a long correspondence by pm.
Very interesting, as he had stayed in the area and had lots of news about contemporaries.
No chance of romance at our age grin.

songstress60 Tue 16-Jun-20 17:16:52

My school days were horrendous as I was bullied, so I would never go to a school reunion. One of the lads that bullied me was a senior boss at my place of employment. How's that for humiliation!

Keffie12 Tue 16-Jun-20 18:00:53

No and neither would I attend one. School days weren't a happy time for me. I was on friends reunited back then for a short while. I caught up with a couple of girls I was friends with st school by email. That was it. We had nothing in common. Our lives had turned out very differently

Patticake123 Tue 16-Jun-20 18:01:31

Like many respondents here, I loathed school and it was a very unhappy experience for me. However, I was somehow persuaded to go to a reunion, possibly 30 years after we’d left and I was incredibly anxious. However, when I got there I was pleasantly surprised. All the very clever girls that I had put onto pedestals were actually quite ordinary mortals and it turned out that I was the one with a successful career where they had chosen to stay at home and look after children. It actually helped me get over some of the agonies I had held onto.

Lettice Tue 16-Jun-20 18:10:45

My old school has a re-union every year on our saint's day, so no invitations etc. You always know when and where. I have been a few times when I have been in the same city, but stopped making the effort when there were more ex pupils of the later years and fewer of mine. Those I attended were pleasant, with afternoon tea and then parties splitting up to go on for evening out (some boozy, some genteel)

MissAdventure Tue 16-Jun-20 18:29:37

It doesn't appeal to me at all.
I went with my sister to hers, and her friends said they were surprised she STILL had me tagging along. smile

Chaitriona Tue 16-Jun-20 18:51:25

My old school has been made into luxury flats and a new school has been built. I went to an event for OPs in the old school and to an event for the opening of the new school. I hadn’t spent most of my life in the city where I grew up and had returned in old age. It was bitter sweet, I suppose, but more sweet than bitter. I was glad I went. You can go once and revisit your youth. You don’t have to pick it up and make it part of your present. You can let it go. I think you can let it go more easily and more positively if you revisit it. What is sometimes called closure. Whether your school days were happy or sad. For most people a bit of both, I expect.

hollysteers Tue 16-Jun-20 19:38:20

What a variety of experiences! Never a suggestion of a reunion from my inner city school which provided a very meagre education for baby boomers. The main object was keeping order, not instilling knowledge. The whole area has been razed to the ground, Expectations were very low, we were at the bottom of the pile and the teachers didn’t bother to disabuse us of the fact, We were taken around a local large factory producing overalls to show us our next step?
I wasn’t having that and made sure I escaped to something better. I fear my schoolmates who I got on with, may have become mired in a miserable life, but I hope things turned out well for them.

Mollygo Tue 16-Jun-20 21:31:19

Grannyticktock that’s about right. I only went to one with some friends and it was good to see some folk I’d lost touch with, but 2 of the 3 girls who made my life a misery were there still trying to lord it over the group. The best thing was meeting S, who could even make our school uniform look fashionable. She still looked amazing and was just as friendly as ever.