Gransnet forums



(173 Posts)
annsixty Sun 28-Jun-20 19:05:48

We have had , in the past, a few threads about “virtue signalling”
Am I the only one, or does anyone agree with me that we now have quite a few posts “ wealth signalling “?
I may be completely wrong and to talk about possessions, travel etc is normal.
I will be happy to be proved wrong.

Pantglas2 Sun 28-Jun-20 19:12:09

It’s funny because I’m always interested in people’s travel plans, new places and cultures etc but glaze over when there’s talk of new cars, posh houses or designer gear!

Chewbacca Sun 28-Jun-20 19:14:38

I've not noticed any in particular annsixty. smile

annsixty Sun 28-Jun-20 19:17:05

This really isn’t “having a go” but I do notice more posts about spending, possibly excessively.
Perhaps I should say ,excessively for me.

merlotgran Sun 28-Jun-20 19:18:51

Is anyone travelling at the moment?

The only possessions I take any notice of are plants on the gardening thread. The Open Gardens thread makes me 'well jel' as my youngest DGD would say. grin

annsixty Sun 28-Jun-20 19:19:31

Thank you Chewbacca,
I may have needed your post and am maybe very sensitive and hyper critical just now.

MissAdventure Sun 28-Jun-20 19:22:39

Another sensitive, highly critical person here. blush

It's lucky that all the brand names mean bugger all to me.

Riverwalk Sun 28-Jun-20 19:24:03

I haven't noticed any obvious 'signalling', as in showing-off.

There's a thread on gardens, mine is a titchy city garden and no-one would be interested - some of the gardens are beautiful with extensive views, obviously attached to some serious property. But that's not signalling, IMO, just a picture of their garden.

Most posters respond to a question asked in thread, rather than start off one, with 'I've just been on an expensive cruise', or 'My house is bigger than yours'.

MissAdventure Sun 28-Jun-20 19:26:13

Oh no, I love the gardening threads.
I really enjoy a glimpse into others' surroundings.

Chewbacca Sun 28-Jun-20 19:43:25

My biggest expenditure has been having my wretched car repaired again. During lockdown, I'd not needed to spend anything and had built up a little bit of a cushion, normally unattainable. But when the car conked out that completely wiped me out.

annsixty Sun 28-Jun-20 19:50:12

It would be invidious of me to quote examples of which I have noticed a few.
Please let this drop now, I am so sorry for starting the thread.

Jane10 Sun 28-Jun-20 19:58:47

I doubt that people mean to do this annsixty. Maybe they're just talking about their lives and what they're doing eg making holiday plans etc.
I know I talked about going private for my knee replacements but I had to pay for that with my NHS pension lump sum (which felt ironic). I'd been paying into the pension for 30+ years. The lump sum didn't even feel real to me somehow.

Oopsadaisy3 Sun 28-Jun-20 22:35:11

Apart from DIY and the garden I don’t think I’ve said anything,
I’m not buying anything else, as we are trying to reuse, recycle and repurpose.
TBH I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything with a designer name on it.

welbeck Sun 28-Jun-20 22:41:50

i do get the feeling that most people on here are quite wealthy.

GGumteenth Sun 28-Jun-20 22:42:46

I don't read all the threads but we have to accept, surely, that we all lead different lives?

cornergran Sun 28-Jun-20 22:46:41

Don’t be sorry for starting the thread, ann, your opinion is as important as anyone else’s.

JenniferEccles Sun 28-Jun-20 22:57:02

Isn’t it difficult though to define ‘boasting’ ?

For instance, someone may perfectly innocently remark that they had a large garden which had kept them busy during lockdown, or in a discussion about holidays mention various exotic places they had loved visiting on a cruise one year.

All perfectly innocuous but some could interpret either of those remarks as being boastful I suppose.

I can’t honestly say I have noticed any flaunting of wealth on a thread.

Grammaretto Sun 28-Jun-20 22:57:31

I can't say I have noticed but maybe I am a culprit grin
You know how what seems like nothing to one is a major event to another.
I am wel jel of people who are not shielded and seem to see their DGC daily. envy

Someone reminded me today of this: We are told we are all in the same boat with this virus but it isn't true, we are all in the same storm but in very different boats;
Some in precarious rowing boats; others in luxury yachts.

OceanMama Sun 28-Jun-20 23:01:07

I've never seen it as signalling, but everyone I know over the age of 60 seems to always be taking overseas trips and travelling (not at the moment, obviously), I told my mother, I don't know how they do it all. She suggested they have inherited from their parents at some stage. That makes sense. I don't imagine ever being in that position though.

GGumteenth Sun 28-Jun-20 23:04:00

There is no harm in starting it. I'm wondering if people are "signalling" though. I know when, we were talking about buying clothes on-line the other day, many of the more expensive brands were mentioned but that a) doesn't mean everyone is buying them they maybe just admire them and b) how would you monitor that no one was suggesting something that upset others?

Unless something on one of the threads was said to you directly annsixty? I do hope not.

GGumteenth Sun 28-Jun-20 23:06:13

A very clever and sadly true way of describing our boats Grammaretto

Grammaretto Sun 28-Jun-20 23:08:50

oh dear, it was me who started the on-line clothes shopping suggestions thread. No harm in window shopping!
We can enjoy beautiful things without having to own them as I tell my DC

GGumteenth Sun 28-Jun-20 23:15:24

I loved it Grammaretto. I thought I said (I certainly meant to) that it reminded me of being back at work where you could hear about all the brands you would never otherwise know about. Great fun looking at the styles on line too. It helps keep your eye in wherever you shop.

But we don't know that that was it. Things can jar if you are feeling a bit down about life and different things can jar with different people.

annodomini Sun 28-Jun-20 23:20:15

I think I can see ann's point in that there is sometimes unconscious flaunting of their lifestyle by some posters who certainly don't intend to make anyone else feel inferior or envious.

V3ra Sun 28-Jun-20 23:20:45

A friend many years ago said, quite out of the blue, that I'd be ok for money in the future as I'd inherit from my parents, who owned their own house.
Her dad had been on a disability benefit and lived in a council house, so there was no capital involved there.

I was quite shocked, as it had never occurred to me to think like that.
My Dad's mum lived until she was 98, so if Dad had taken that attitude he'd have had a long wait!
He's now 89 and still going strong ☺️