Do you ever feel

However, it was my brother she wanted when she was taking her last breath

this is very sad but I wonder if your mum was very secure in your love for her but not so with your brother and thats why she had to ask for him in her final moments.

And Im sorry if that sounds batty but hopefully it won't and it will help with your pain.

Oh yes. I miss my Mum so much and am always saying 'I wish I could tell Mum that' or 'Mum would have been so cross/happy about that.'

She's been dead 9 years

Yes I still miss my mum a lot though she died nearly 40 yrs ago. We weren't (still aren't) a touchy feely family but I always felt loved. My dad was lovely too. But I’m lucky I have my husband and children who care about me.

I sort of know how you feel. Though for me it was always my Dad who was openly loving and supportive. Mum and I never had a great relationship, she was the same with my sister. My brother and she were much closer, often the case.

We were looking through old photos yesterday, just family having tea, and husband said how lovely it would be to be able to go back and be with them again.

Well entirely subjective of course as to what sort of relationship we all had with our mothers. I know I miss mine a lot, dead 12 years this summer, I can remember phoning her when I was about to undergo a root canal procedure, somehow I'd exposed a nerve and it was incredibly painful, she managed to completely calm me down with a "dentists know what they're doing, you've nothing to worry about. Under prevailing circumstances, I'd have been concerned about her living 70 miles away and not getting down to see her, although she did have a supportive circle round her. Nevertheless I'm glad she never had to experience any of what's going on right now.

Sometimes I have conversations with her in my head, don't know if anyone else does that, maybe I'm just peculiar

My mum didn't keep well mentally and life could be very difficult but when she was our healthy mum she was the best mum in the world. And when she was unwell? Well that was a different story altogether but somewhere inside of herself she knew and she felt it and there would be a great sadness in her eyes. My mum was my mum and there was no one else in the world like her. I adored her and still do even though she's been gone a long time now. She was also the most fantastic granny and whenever we have an important family occasion we always have her there in spirit even if its just something star shaped as part of the decoration.

Someone mentioned a mothers smile and it resonated with me because my mother always smiled when she saw me and its something I always do with my lot.

Im 62 and I miss my mum.

Sometimes I have conversations with her in my head, don't know if anyone else does that, maybe I'm just peculiar grin

Well if you're peculiar then so am I.

I miss my granny ?. She died 40 years ago, but she understood me. My mum? No.....never had a great relationship. I haven’t seen her for years and have no desire to.

Yes, although my mum could be a bit blunt but not unloving with it. There are times when it would be nice if someone else could take up the reins for us.
When I had a query at one of my past jobs one of the best bosses would often say, "Leave it with me" which was helpful. One of a kind.

MissAdventure I lost my mum just over three years ago, I miss her dreadfully every single day as does my younger sister. Although she lived abroad for over ten years, before moving a five minute walk from us, we kept up our close relationship with lots of long visits.

She was a marvellous grandma and got to meet five great grandchildren. She moved in with us for the last four months of her life, it wasn't always easy as I am not a natural nurse, but we still had some giggles and lots of hugs.

She would have been stressed in lockdown as she did love to shop and go down the High Road for coffee & cake .

BibiSarah so there's at least two of us

My Mother was lovely, but died so very long ago now that regretfully I hardly ever think of her. I try to be the same to my AC as however old you are, you should be able to rely on your Mother for some tlc.

I lost mine 25 years ago, her last 20 years were severe depression, Parkinson's and dementia, so I really lost her long before that. I would loved to have been able to pop in for a chat, go on shopping trips, or to the cinema, I feel her illness robbed us of that. Strangely I miss her more now than when I first lost her, perhaps because it was a relief that she was no longer suffering.

No. My mother was too downtrodden and battered to give her children any love. She fed and clothed us but that was it. She died nearly 50 years ago. I wish she'd lived longer as she'd just managed to get away from my abusive father when she died. She should have been allowed a few years of peace.

I had two mothers so I'm very conflicted and not sure which one I miss the most. But i do miss someone motherly at times, just for a hug and a cup of tea.

Flipping this about, have just been chatting to DD this morning. She lives in Australia. Haven’t seen her for nearly 3 years, and listening to her today, with some worries about work and particularly her three teenage children, I so wish I could see her in real life, and have a good heart to heart over a cup of coffee.

My own mum died 16 years ago, 92, but she was always there to listen and offload some worries to. She couldn’t do anything, but it was ‘good to talk’.
I used to leave feeling better.

I have a small group of female friends that I would go to if some 'mothering' was needed. We all met as young Mums via a postnatal support group and the circle of friendship has endured. I loved my Mum so very much, she lived to a very good age but as she got older, she looked to me for that kind of caring - a kind of reversal of roles.

I lost my Mam last Christmas but really I think I lost her long before. When my brother and I were small she was great but as we grew up it changed. In later life she again was close to my brother and acted as if he was her only child. I guess I was not what she wanted in a daughter. She once told someone she had 2 grandchildren (my brothers 2 children) when my daughter her eldest grandchild was standing beside her.

I miss my mom and dad always will.
I feel sorry for those that didn`t have a good relationship with their parents.

Curly I agree with you, my DH luckily has all the qualities I admired in my dad. I wish he was still here, even though I can't remember any hugging and kissing.

This thread is quite comforting because it's good to know that a lot of other people had a mother who was not "maternal".

I know now that she was just a very unhappy person but she made my life very difficult for years. If I hadn't had a wonderful father I think I would have run away when I was still of school age.

I'm sorry to say it but I was relieved when she passed away and I don't miss her or her constant criticism at all.

Calendar same here about children and grandchildren in Australia ...

Thanks BlueSky, it’s hard isn’t it?

I worry about them, ‘a trouble shared’ and all that...

Never experienced it but it must be lovely and I can see why someone would miss it.

If I could have my mum back for a minute as she was when I was a child, I would be thrilled.

If I had to have the crabbit auld wife she turned into I would prefer my nursemaid, Louise.