Do you ever feel

So sorry Purplepoppies Such a difficult time to lose a loved one.

My Mum didn't have the best start in life, but she was was the kindest, sweetest woman you could wish to meet, a day never goes by that I don't wish I could go and visit her, she had so many friends, all gone now I'm afraid, who also became my friends and my friends became hers, she was just so lovely. I often reminisce with one friend in particular about her, we have so many happy memories, she was so funny but didn't realise, trying to keep a straight face sometimes was very difficult. I was just so lucky to have her as my Mum.

My mum died when I was ten. Don’t know what it’s like to be ‘mummied’, must be wonderful. I’ve always made sure I’m a good mum to my two children even though they are now 43 and 45, with lots of love and cuddles.

No, my mother had a very unhappy childhood which seems to have made her unhappy and dissatisfied all her life. Sometimes it was as if she was still a needy child. As teenagers my sister and I felt kind of responsible for her discontent, and we never felt we matched up to her ideal. It left us lacking in self confidence, never being able to match up to her standards. I often said if I had married Prince Charles it would not have been good enough. I just hope she is happy now in heaven somewhere. I have always tried to encourage and support my daughters and not criticise or belittle their choices and decisions.

Yep, sure wish my Mum was still here. She did an amazing job as a single parent and I only discovered much of her sacrifice long after she had died. Gobsmacking stuff which I was always shielded from. Ignorance sometimes is bliss. Once when I was feeling really rubbish (flu or something) my Husband suggested I go stay with her and he would hold the fort. That was a time of mutual joy. She loved the nurturing and I the pampering. Nowadays, when I recall some bit of teaching or wisdom, I smile, wink and nod heavenwards. Bet she didn't think I ever listened!

Purple poppies

Dad died when I was 10. Mum met a man when I was 22 and married him a year later after I married. She had a stroke after 6 months which totally disabled her and she never spoke again until she died 10 years later.

I was an " accident ", my brother being 20 years older than I am . Mum always said I was the best accident anyone could have. I was in my teens when she died, she never did get her much coveted free bus pass. She used to say my hair was black as a raven's wing and that I was her little Indian princess because I had a beauty spot right in the middle of my forehead. She hugged and loved me with words. I hope I've been as thoughtful a Mum to my boy and look forward to replicating her warmth with my Granddaughter .

Yes, I frequently wish I could see my mother for a chat, (she didn't go in for cuddles) even though I am nearly 80 and she died 46 years ago! Also, there are many questions about my life and hers that I would like to ask her about that she is the only one who would could answer as there are obviously no family members left.
My grandmother played a large part in my childhood so would love a chat and a cuddle with her too

Oh yes, I could have done with mum being here plenty of times. She loved knowing what was going on and always enjoyed a good laugh. I've known times in the past when we've been on the phone falling in a heap laughing about something and unable to speak.

Mum used to be visibly thrilled when I told her about my holidays as though it was something new each time and delighted at having the girls when I went away during their younger years. I think she looked forward to that more than anything. She used to also knit for England----cardigans to match the girls dresses.

Fortunately she lived long enough to see her first GGC and I have a treasured photo of that, 36 years ago, so 4 generations on that picture.

I felt privileged that I was with her when she died and her knowing that I was there was good for both of us. At Peace.

I miss the lovely conversations, the warmth and laughter and the wisdom. Could certainly have done with some of her wisdom in the last year or so, whilst providing it one of my own ACs!!

This is a hard one for me, I was adopted when I was 10 weeks old. My mom cared and looked after me,I knew she loved me. But, She wasn’t a cuddly mom, no hugs and kisses. Which had a knock on effect for me as a mom. I turned into that mom. It’s hard to show affection when you haven’t grown up with it.
When she died I went to see her in the funeral home by myself. I was an only child. On my way home I stopped at her house and went to speak to one of her friends nearby. Who asked where I’d been, as I was upset, she came straight over to me and gave me a big motherly hug. It felt lovely, not something I’d had from my own mom.
Maybe it was her generation, because my mother in law was the same, my husband can’t remember ever having a hug from his mom either. ?

Definitely do miss her. What I wouldn't give for another half an hour and a cuppa with her.

Oh, I would give anything for one of my mum's smiles and hugs. I lost her in September and still feel alternately numb and tearful.

I regularly have the thought, "I want my mum", in my head.

My mum is still here nearly 90. She is a very caring loving mum that everybody adores I love her to bits, but I’ve never been able to go to her in the way that you describe, as she has always
had anxiety, so I’ve never told her anything that she could worry about unless it was unavoidable, then I’d feel so guilty because I’d made her ill.
I’m an only one too ,would have loved a brother or sister to confide in. Good job I have a lovely DH and family.

I miss some things about my Mum, but there were many things about her I didn't like and as I've got older it's often those things which are at the forefront of my memories of her. I did love her and I know she loved me but was not demonstrative, kisses and cuddles were rare. Her main focus in life was her work, earning enough money, and the home ie. housework and feeding us. Not uncommon I know, and I appreciated her sacrifices for me, but my interests and achievements were of no interest to her. Nevertheless I have happy memories of my childhood, but as I reached adulthood it became clear that I was expected to remain at home and care for her as she aged. It caused a lot of friction between us. When I married and had children she became a doting grandmother but often criticised the way we (mostly I) brought them up. She died over 20 years ago, my one regret is that I was not with her when she died suddenly. I feel I let her down. But if I had been we would probably have argued about something!

My mum was never my friend, and I don’t think your mum should be. Friends can get jealous, but Mum’s don’t.

I miss the Mother that I always longed for but never had. Tragically I'm sure that she longed for the daughter that I could never be. We were such damaged people, no-one fault but so sad.

Purplepoppies my heart goes out to you. Big hugs.xx

I miss my mum terribly, although she died 26 years ago. She would have been 100 years old this August.

She was warm and funny, and she made me feel safe. When I was in ICU, two or three years ago, I remember saying to my daughter, "I want my mum." I felt so ill, and I longed to just hold her hand and hear her voice again.

Sadly I don't miss what I never had.

My grandmother was my main carer and I bonded strongly with her. My mother was more like a sister, very young she was always at work or out dancing or out with friends. She did a lot with me though at weekends and I loved spending time with her. I felt special. [Until my step father came along when I was 10...long story]. From then on our relationship was fraught and difficult.

My grandmother felt more like a Mum to me throughout, and when she died 36 years ago I was bereft. I miss her so much even now, we did have some giggles, did so much together and she was an enormous influence on me. When I am in trouble I think of her, ask for her help. I think of her most days anyway.

When my mother died we had become closer and I was so sad when she died 12 years ago now. I loved the lovely side of her, our early years [not the carping critical, judgmental side]....I long to hear her voice again on the phone 'Hello, it's only me...' She had a tough time of it in many ways, but I always knew deep down she was on my side and would always listen to me. She didn't know how to show/give affection in any other way.

So I guess I was lucky, I feel I had 2 mums. Love them both, still.

MissAdventure, thank you for starting this thread. It has been just what I needed right now.
I'm sorry to those of you who are hurting and I'm sending the hugs I wish I had now ??

My memories of my mum are mixed. I wish it wasn't that way. If I find myself dwelling on a negative bit of our relationship I say this mantra to myself 'Be thankful for the good bits, forgive the bad bits and move on'. I find it saves me from brooding. It is so bloomin" tough being a mum!!

I miss my mum everyday, she was my best friend as well as my mum. The only person I could depend upon to be there for me in my hour of need. I often wish she was here now. As a single parent with 2 children she was there for me all the time. There will always be a special place in my heart for her!