OK, where is it?

Now you mention it, I have been missing a couple of small kitchen knives recently. Is there a rogue knife collector about? If I see your knife I'll let you know, Chewbacca.

I’m always losing my kitchen scissors, goodness knows how

Who-ever he is, he's collecting spoons from our house - I do wish he'd stop!

Look in the telephone cupboard.
That is where I put the bacon, circa 1960.

Oh no have you only just found it eazybee?

Freezer? Fridge?

You will know her/him. They are wearing my chartreuse colour, ( I like to be accurate) Phase eight linen jumper!

When we had a new kitchen fitted the fitter found 2 knives that had mysteriously disappeared some while before. I still don't understand how they had got behind the sink , it was like the knife fairy had hidden them.

Three Blind Mice?

Posted too soon.

Meant to say, getting their own back.

Looked in the freezer and it's not there. Thought it might have got in with the veg peelings and ended up in the compost bin; eurgh, no it's not. The empty space in the knife block is beginning to annoy me.

In the garden having been used to hack down some bushes
Behind the toaster
Under the bread

Or my best idea, Borrowed by the cast of Midsomer Murders
Hope you find it chewy

Under the pillow.

(I'm quite a nervy sleeper?)

In this house cutlery often turns up in the compost when the heap gets spread on the garden. Usually teaspoons but the odd vegetable knife has reappeared over the years. There used to be other things like toy cars and birthday badges but that was in another lifetime.

I lost my best bread knife ever about 5 years ago and never saw it again. We never seem to have all of the teaspoons back in the kitchen drawer at this house. They are getting as bad as socks going missing in the washing machine!

When my kitchen floor was replaced due to dry rot, a stainless steel dinner knife was found under the floorboards.

It wasn''t one of mine, so it had been lost prior to January 1980 when I moved in.

The real mystery was that the floor that was taken up was the original one from 1889 and there wasn't a single crack in it big enough to admit a knife.

So how did it get there?

In Denmark we attribute these problems to the kind of house elves we have in this country (nisser). when they start helping themselves to things it is because they want to remind us to serve dessert for them on Christmas Eve.

Try annoncing loudly that if they bring your knife back you will serve pudding for them. It has to be left overnight for them and remember a spoon!

Have you tried the dishwasher? It's surprising what can end up there or in the washing machine. It might be with all my missing teaspoons. About thirty years ago, DS (then a trainee chef) borrowed my knife sharpening steel and I accused him of losing it which he indignantly denied. Searched everywhere and bought another knife sharpening gadget. Moved house, no steel; new kitchen and still no steel. Last week I saw it in a kitchen drawer. It wouldn't tell me where it has been all this time.

Definitely definitely not in the dishwasher Annodomini. I'm getting quite cross with it now.

Has it fallen between a cupboard or down the side of something ?
Were you distracted elsewhere while carrying it ? On the hall table if you answered the door ? Near the telephone if the phone rang ? Retrace your steps, it's what I've done on occasion.

It'll be in the fridge with your butter and marmalade.

Did you swallow it? Any circus performers in your family?

If knives, kitchen scissors or soup bowls go missing in this house, they've usually found their way into the garden/potting shed. DH will take things and not bring them back!

Have you asked St. Anthony to find it for you?

I lost my secoteurs at the beginning of lock down I have never seen them since, they were the ones to replace the last ones I lost
?

Doodle Is there a new series being filmed ?? Ccutting costs perhaps ?

I have two identical pairs of scissors that normally live in a kitchen drawer - except that for long periods we can only ever find one pair. Then they will both be there. We've decided they take it in turn to have long holidays away.

Defrosting the freezer last week I found a box of three pairs of tights at the back of one of the drawers. No idea how long they have been there but at some point I was probably scouring the house looking for them.

When I ask where is it Mr B always replies look in handbag/shopping bag and sure enough that is where it is. Once found a massive screwdriver in my handbag after going through security at Bristol Airport, KL, Bangkok and Luang Prabang airports. It was only when I emptied out my bag that I found it. I am forever losing my reading glasses and have been found in the most opercular places.