When I was a child, a teacher's good marks for good school work were considered sufficient reward by my parents and grandparents. However, I did have friends whose parents bought them small presents if they did particularly well; and whenever my AC lets me know of especially good work done by my very dear and only GC, I send a handwritten letter with some extra pocket money (NOT huge amounts) to acknowledge this.We live at a distance, and even before Covid could not meet frequently, though we are in contact 2 or 3 times a week.The money is always gratefully received, and I am usually happy that GC uses it to choose whatever would add a bit of sunshine to the day!
However, this year I sent more than usual. GC's achievement, we all felt, was especially great - not only because of lockdown, but also because last year my SIL was very seriously ill,and GC was old enough to understand this. We thought SIL had recovered - but it now appears that the disease has returned. For the time being GC will not be told - in a few weeks after term has started, the news will have to be broken that treatment must start again.
The concern I have may seem very trivial by comparison in the circumstances; but I am worried that my daughter, who has up to now been holding things together brilliantly, has now allowed GC to fritter what I have sent - plus other money - on an extremely expensive toy of little or no educational or developmental value. This is out of character (she is a teacher, although now for only two days a week) and my partner and I, who live in a low income area where so many people are struggling, feel it is wrong. I don't know whether to say anything, or just resolve not to do this again.
At the same time, daughter and SIL - who is still able to work full time, at least for now, have also gone ahead with major (not essential) house purchases, planned before the recurrence of his disease. They are usually sensible with money, and I do not wish to interfere or upset them when they have already had so much to bear, but with so many question marks over the immediate future, it is hard not to worry.
