The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

It’s not Gilbert and Sullivan night Chewy. Can’t you sing something more in keeping with Jane Austin. And please put your appendages away. The Admiral is having a fit of the vapours and I’ve forgotten where the smelling salts are ?

Whoa! These cocktails have gone right to my head,why is the room swirling round? Two more please Thor, a Palely Loitering Laura and a Doodles Derry Air this time, with ice cubes, is it me or is it hot in here?

Leave The Admiral to me.
I'm used to looking after drunken sailors.

Right! Let me at the pianoforte again, Chewy can accompany me on the harp......here we go with a rousing rendition of Let’s All Go Down The Strand ( ‘ave a banana)
Come on join in everybody.

What do you do with a drunken sailor Call??

Do you think I'm going to tell anyone on here?
I put him in my long boat until he's sober, then .....

Gnasher is dead! Dead drunk that is?stop dancing around him as if he’s a handbag, and drag the poor old thing into a corner.That goes for AGA too, she’s in the same collapsed condition, put them together and throw a blanket over them.
Sad, they can’t hold their drink, hic!

Doodle cover your jugs with a lace fichu, you are over exciting the punters.

I know all the words to the Beverley Hill Billies, if that helps at all?

Come listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed,
Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed,
Went along one day a shooting for some food,
When out from the ground came some bubblin' crude..
Oil that is, Texas gold...

Some say I have a striking resemblance to Ellie Mae. Or was it grandma? ?

Why is there so little in the till.......has marydoll been in tonight??
Surely we have made more than four blue buttons, a hairpin and an Irish sixpence?

I took it lemon. Personal injury claim lawyers acted on my behalf in the case of Chewbacca v The Argy Bar Inc. I won.

It’s a fine song Chewy you sing it and I’ll play it.

They certainly acted quickly....are you sure they are real lawyers?They look suspiciously like Kev our old barman and the vicar he ran off with last week!

Never mind....I’ll take it out of your wages for the next year.

It’s no good I can’t stand these corsets any more. Stand back everyone ..I’m coming out. ?. Oops sorry Chewy nearly took your eye out there.
Callistemon the Admirals singing sea shanties at the top of his voice. I thought you were looking after him.
Lins where are you. I need your help sobering Gnasher up. AGA thinks he’s a horse and is trying to ride him home.
Lemon I know you’re hot but there is such a thing as decency. Jane Austin would never strip off like that ?

That maybe so, but Jane Austen wouldn’t like our little bar either, she would take on look and say ‘truly, it’s a f——-g nightmare!’ Or some such thing.
....and on that note, our carriages have arrived, last one in lock up, just push out those late stragglers into the street, give them the bums rush eh?

I’ll lock up lemon. Another great night. No need to worry about stragglers, I’ll just show them Gnasher pearly whites and their bums will certainly be rushing to get out ?

I didn't get very far riding on Gnasher. He threw me outside the private shop on Pigstrotters Alley terrifying all the men queuing outside. My corset broke open and they thought a bomb had gone off.
I found a few staff members of the Argy sprawled in places just outside. they didn't get very far.
Lemon was whisked away in a carriage with Gloopy. Doodle was clinging to the back shouting 'he's mine!'
I found Chewy and Lins in a skip that was being loaded to go to the tip.
I am going down to the cellar to brew the next batch of poteen with Thor. He is wearing his leather thong

Not for long if I know you AGA ?

It was a great night.....but we didn’t have any takings thanks to Madame Chewbacca and her fake lawyers, she took the lot.?
Gloopy and I shared a carriage, but he was a perfect gentlemen, escorted me to my door and kissed my hand.
However....as the carriage rattled off down the drive, I saw a rotund figure clinging to the roof, I do hope Gloopy got home safely!

Could we have an Oriental theme next week Lemon? I've got a kimono hanging in the wardrobe that needs an airing. And as I've only got tiny feet (as opposed to your clod hoppers), I'd make an excellent Geisha girl.

Good idea, Oriental Nite it is then.I have a pair of chopsticks somewhere.

Thor and I have drunk the last brew of poteen. We will make another one shortly (when we've sobered up.Lemon will be back soon and you know how she gets if the poteen isn't ready.

No poteen next week AGAA4, were going to have saki. Have you got any rice?

I will see if Legover Larry will sell me some for two shillings. That is all Lemon will give for ingredients.