The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

lemon come here a minute. ?. I want to whisper something in your ear............ BOO ??

More channel than Chanel ?

I wandered in here, lonely as a cloud
That walks while high on meths and pills
When all at once I wore a shroud
The ghost of golden daffodils.

Okay I admit I stayed in the tanning salon too long and went this funny shade of yellow but it's the best I can do.
Pass me a cocktail someone while I flutter and fart in the breeze

I've put both feet in it this evening so may I have a quiet corner, a litre of poteen and a straw please.
Preferably not served by Katy.

Our very upmarket little waitress is called Chardonnay, her parents are far too classy to have christened her Chardy

Well, you all look the part I must say....Doodle if I scared easy then I couldn’t look at you day after day!?
So BOO right back atcha.?
What dud you put both feet in Callistemon ....not the antibacterial tank ( bucket of Dettol) we keep by the door?
It was meant for hands not feet.
Doesn’t Gloopy look great? He’s come as a spider, I may have to eat him up later on.?

Why Laura you’re a poet! Eat your heart out William Wordsworth! You remember him, he used to be our plumber?
He had a way with words....and usually his way with AGA.

Who’s that tiny ghost wandering around with a sheet over it’s head? It’s not marydoll is it, come to raid the till? Keep your eye on it.

Oooh here comes Jane10 and her new assistant, a sensitive
Lad by the look of him.She has him on a lead I see.

laura how apt you’ve come as a pumpkin ?............sorry I didn’t realise it was fake tan. Oops ?
Come and sit behind the llamas Callistemon you will be safe there. They may pong a bit but they’ve had their poteen for tonight so are very sleepy.
Oh no that spider was Gloopy. I swatted it with my broomstick ?

The only thing those llamas pong of is my expensive perfume.?
Poor Gloopy! Being hit on the head with a broom for no good reason.
Thor and Achilles look magnificent as Dracula and Frankenstein’s Monster......hard to choose which one I like best.
Anyone seen the Admiral? The Captain is over there,( dressed as a black cat) who’s he chatting up inside that pumpkin?

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Cocktails on the house for staff tonight.
I have had seven ‘In The Spirit’’s.......I may have to run in a minute, that syrup of figs is kicking in.

Me on karaoke again....’I’ll put a spell on yooo, because yooooour miiiiine.....

Are you sure that’s the Captain lemon ? He’s just peed on the pumpkin...........and I can tell you now, Laura’s none too pleased. ?
It does look a bit odd Frankenstein’s monster dancing with Dracula like that. I’m on now Lemon push over I’m doing the Rocky Horror Show....

Laura you look very fetching - have you been to the tanning studio?
Such a nice smile as well ?

Callistemon stop feeding the llamas with those pumpkin pies it’s not good for their digestion (as you will find out if you don’t move quickly) ?

It's not the pumpkin, it's my terrible pastry.

Whoops, you're right! Too late!
I need a shower

Had to rush off when Peter Peter the pumpk................oh no he’s here again

I sympathise Laura as I did a lot of rushing off after those syrup of figs cocktails last night.
It was a chaotic scene wasn’t it? The bar was rammed with zombies, ghouls, ghosts pumpkins, vampires, spiders and bats.Made lots of dosh ( the sure sigh of a successful theme nite) so am awarding you all with ten shillings each ( don’t spend it all at once!)

Am just off to wrangle a bargain price out of our landlord for another year’s lease on the old place.....laters!?

Hope you are wearing your best maroon bloomers Lemon. He will definitely lower the rent after a glimpse of those.

Well lemon I think it’s wonderful we need to renew the lease. These new theme nights seem to have attracted a crowd.
AGA’s new poteen recipe seems to go down a treat.
Laura works her magic on the door dragging enticing the punters in.
Now that Callistemon is in charge of the cleaning the punters are happier to sit and drink (what was wrong with the spit and sawdust I don’t know)
So what are we going to do for next Friday. Ah got it what about a bonfire party for Halloween. You can be the guy......mind you we’ll have to dress you up a bit. We won’t pop you on the fire just sit you outside and ask people to give us a penny for you....... maybe half penny would be better.?

Hmmmm, a Bonfire Nite Theme....very good,we’ll do it!
We can all take turns at being the guy....slumped in a wheelbarrow at the door ( well wrapped up) having a snooze, we could make a fortune!

The poteen and firework cocktails will keep us all warm.

Fireworks! Yes, AGA we need loads.....here’s five bob, go forth and buy a sackful.
Now it’s definitely time for me to go and see Moneybags Mike our landlord.....