The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

Well, they will be the first virgins in the bar since it was built I should think, but why not....we will give it a go next week.
For this week, I have decided to come as Madam Vitalitemoth
A distant poor relation to Butterfly.?
I shall wear an old silk dressing gown, high cork heeled shoes,
Chopsticks in my wig and dramatic make up.
Fire up the still AGA and get cracking on the sake and poteen.
I am away to the cash and carry to buy noodles.

Ah lemon you forget when I first came to the Argy. An innocent in twinset and pearls on a coach trip from soop’s kitchen. Then I was given a pint of poteen and so came the start of my downfall, ?

Sadly I bound my feet in readiness for last week and then couldn’t walk. I sent my friend in a rickshaw to give my apologies. She told Thor she was waytuyung and he laughed in her face. How rude as that is her name.
When she said she would get the rickshaw driver to sort him out he asked her ‘Who is the rickshaw driver’?
She replied ‘Yes Hoo is the rickshaw driver.’
This went on for some time before Kev got involved. He told Thor ‘ I know Hoo’
Who? said Thor
‘Yes’ said Kev ‘Hoo is the rickshaw driver‘
Waytuyung thought it was getting out of control so she left.
My feet have now recovered and I have my kimono ready for Friday, sayonara.

Doodle we all started that way. The Argy is like Hotel California - once you're in you can never leave. Where else would Lemon get staff for five bob a week.
I have my sumo wrestler costume ready, large nappy and a frilly pink bra for decency's sake.
Laura glad your feet are better. Not a good idea to bind them when you have bunions and corns.

Laura glad you’re all ready for Friday. Don’t mention the foot thing to Lemon . She’ll rope you in to going to her bondage fetish sessions (literally. She’s a dab hand with a lasso) ?
AGA that frilly pink bra is very fetching. Do you think perhaps a clean nappy might be in order ?

I set off hours ago but me feet are killing me in these shoes and I can hardly stand up, let alone walk 5 miles in them. I'm hoping that Gloopy will give me an Oriental foot massage before the rest of you turn up. I have such delicate feet that they need only the lightest touch to soothe them and Gloopy is such a gentle soul. when he's sober

Aye well, there’s the rub! He’s rarely sober.

Right, action stations ( as theAdmiral always says) let’s get this bar shipshape and Bristol fashion before we open at 11.
Doodle and Chewy get cleaning, you are best pair of scrubbers we have, and tell Lauranorder to stop leaning on Thor and check on AGA ( she has been in the cellar with Achilles a very long time) such dedication to duty with the ’poteen still’, she’s rarely away from it.
All got your costumes ready and waiting? The noodles are ready to go on the hob and we have a seafood spread courtesy of the Captain.He and Doodle went out to sea yesterday and were gone for hours, so I expect they got a good haul.
Let’s have a snifter before we start work eh???????

I am ready for some sake. Been in the cellar for days now but we have plenty of poteen and sake. Achilles is blotto. He has been testing the sake and poteen regularly.
To please Doodle I have a clean nappy and my pink bra has been rinsed in eau de Mersey.
The Admiral is coming as a Samurai warrior and has promised to wrestle me later.
Can't wait to see all the geisha girls tonight. You will all look amazing.

Cleaning duty again. Why is it always me.
chewy’s no good. She can’t move coz her feet hurt. She wanted Gloopy to massage them but when she took her shoes off he fainted from the smell, fell backwards down the cellar steps and into a vat of sake. I doubt we’ll get much help from him tonight. Actually chewy go and stick your feet in the poteen. That might make them better then you can help me with the cleaning.
AGA you look very fetching. I’m sure your wrestling the Admiral in his warrior’s outfit will bring in the punters tonight.
Laura put Thor down and come and help me. What do you mean he’s got his thong caught on one of the beer pumps and you’re trying to get him off ?

Has anyone seen a large safety pin for my nappy? That might have gone into the poteen too. When Achilles sobers up he can dive in and get it.
Doodle I think Lemon is going to charge for the wrestling match. She doesn't miss an opportunity to make money.
Laura Thor can sort out his own thong. I need help with carrying up the vat of poteen. Achilles is still drunk and Thor seems to be tied up.

I'll go and untie Thor now AGAA4. --heaven's above, that was a good afternoon down the cellar-.-

Right.....let’s get this party started! Wow, you all look amazing,
I know you’re a big lass AGA but your sumo nappy is the hugest thing I’ve ever seen.Are you meant to be topless? Thought you would be wearing a pink bra top?
Am definitely charging money for the wrestling match btw and my cash is on you winning ,the Admiral has no chance.
Must say he looks better in the Woo Flung Dung costume than I did....I quite fancy him.
Gloopy has come as the evil emperor Ming The Merciless,
Thor is a Shinto monk ( in a leather thong) Achilles has come as a giant panda ( Kung Fu Panda apparently) and as for Doodle and Chewy.....words fail me but I think they are geishas.

The bar top is filled with glasses of sake??????I may try one, just to test it out.The karaoke machine is working, who wants to be up first?I think I’ll do a duet with Thor, the song from Lady and the tramp ‘ We are Siamese if you pleeeees, we are Siamese if you don’t please’??

Ahem lemon.... I am Madame Butterfly if you please, not just an ordinary geisha. Therefore, I need to be waited on, as is fit and proper for someone of my social standing.

Your usual standing is leaning on the lamp post outside and accosting sailors Chewy ...so don’t come it.

In any case, you’re up next for karaoke, why not give us your sparkling rendition of Tit Willow?

You certainly have the chest for it.

That’s right Chewy us geisha girls need to be treated with respect. I’ll just get rid of my mop and bucket, slip into my kimono and I’ll join you at the bar for a saki or 5. Is there any sushi. I’ve got my chopsticks ? ready

Will have to sample the sushi with my fingers, chopsticks are holding up my bun.
My turn at karaoke, Happy Talk from South Pacific then I promise I’ll help drag the drunks up from the cellar.

Haha Laura I read bun as bum☺️

Actually....could you drag the drunks down to the cellar.

I did get Thor’s thong free from the tap, the elastic was so powerful that Thor’s thong flew through the thatch then thudded thankfully through three thoughtful thistles.

This rice wine is going down a treat ( just hope it won’t come up a treat later on, after all the sushi)?

Well done Laura your Happy Talk has emptied the bar.....we needed more space, I could hardly breathe with the fug of all those mandarin pipes full of opium that Thor has been selling to the punters.
AGA .....about the wrestling match later, I have a book going
And you would be amazed how many are betting on you winning, in fact the Admiral is looking very miffed, but says he has a ‘secret weapon’ so look out, you don’t want to fall on his sword.

Thor thanks thee Laura ?

lemongrove I think I’ve associated with you too long. I read it as bum too. ?
AGA don’t worry. I’ve seen the Admirals “secret weapon* and it’s not that big to be honest. ?