The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

lins no ? he’s usually round the other side. I’m so sorry. Damm thing needs castrating. ?
AGA 2 pints of poteen please.
lemon, don’t like to tell you this but there’s a dog sniffing round your trunk. ?
chewy I think you’d better come in here out of harms way.

I've got some tissues in one of my skins lemon for you to mop up. One skin was a bit bigger than the other......
The Admiral is exchanging nautical stories with the Lifeboat Cox, don't know where the rest of the crew are?
I'm feeling on a bit of a high after riding those big waves ??
and I've got a raging thirst, a pint of poteen please Aga ?

Doodle that poteen is affecting your eyes ( the good stuff always does) it’s not a dog it’s the Captain! Although you could say he’s an old sea dog.He’s teying to find the hidden zip in my costume in case I come over all faint ( like you did last week Doodle ) in your hot parrot costume.?

Such a pity it’s pouring down, I was hoping we could reprise our conga down to the docks, that was the best fun.Still, I don’t want to get my coconuts soggy, so had better stay here.

A lively crowd in tonight ( to put it mildly) the Admiral is bare wrestling with Achilles on the sheepskin rug, cor! Look at them go.Thor is dressed as a pineapple and is having an altercation with a customer dressed as a banana and another one dressed as a jelly... a trifle OTT ( take a photo Lins) of both events ( especially the bare wrestling.)
Am off to have a pina colada with that attractive Lifeboat man.

Let me just wriggle this trunk bit of my costume up to my knees first though and arrange my palm head-dress in a fetching way.....

Got several close ups lemon, a trifle blurred though as my glasses kept getting steamed up. They weren't half going at it, one of the Lifeboat gang is an amateur photographer, he said he will show me how to develop them later in his dark room, can't wait.

lemon it may well be the Captain but what he’s doing to your trunk is not looking for a zip, believe me.?

lins you could do some blow ups and we could put them behind the bar to attract the customers. My goodness you did get close to the action didn’t you. ?

Doodle I'll have to have lessons to do blow ups. Hope he's a good teacher.

lins I’m sure he’s quite experienced, he has got his own dark room after all ??

You are awful Doodle - but I like you ?

Just don’t get over exposed lins ?. You know what these photographers are like. You’ll end up on some glamour mag if you’re not careful ?

As usual on a Saturday nobody sober in the Argy. Lemon and Peardrop are on the roof fast asleep in the rain.

Where's Doodle? Oh there she is on the front cover of the Admiral's magazine "Hot Babes" and Lins is looking over exposed in "Gorgeous Girls*. If they aren't careful they will be in Woman's Weekly next.

Doodle I need another batch of chips and don't forget to add salt and vinegar. It makes the poteen nice and tangy.

My last holiday in The Scrubs was for over exposure. Nice porridge in there, I must say Doodle. Perhaps I could get the recipe for the Argy next time I'm in there.

AGA I don’t have to go to Chipping Sodbury again do I? Remember what happened last time ?
I think chippy on the corner is open now. You remember Fast Fritz the Phenomenally Fast Fish Fryer don’t you. We went to school with him I think . He used to work in his Dad’s fish shop during the holidays. He’s certainly a chip off the old block. ?

Ahem chewy what exactly were you exposing? ?

Myself Doodle!

Another good night I think, so many satisfied customers ?
Just woke up, I was on the roof and have either wet myself or it’s rained.
I hope the llama is ok? The last I saw it was heading drunkenly for the docks following a screaming Doodle.....why does she have to be such a drama queen?
Chewbacca I think it’s your turn to think up a Theme Nite for next Friday.

Doodle should we ask Fast Fritz to the Argy? He was a skinny boy with spots at school but after all those years of fish and chips he has beefed up magnificently .

Lemon the llama was lying in a drunken heap after chasing Doodle. He had to give up as he had drunk a whole vat of special poteen and his legs gave way before he could catch her.

Chewbacca I spent some time in that erm ...hotel for keeping a llama without a licence. The porridge was good made by Gruesome Gertie.

Yes he has beefed up a lot AGA you can ask him. My dealings with him are all.......of a professional nature. ?

The only beef he possesses is in his lard used for frying.I won’t have him in The Argy .....too greasy by half!
The Captain gave Doodle ‘safe harbour’ in his bunk onboard HMS Unreliable.. but I haven’t seen the llama since,
Hopefully he won’t be back again.
Peardrop has vanished without trace ( although so has Achilles) I haven’t checked the cellar mind you.
Lins has gone off to the fleshpots of Rochdale with a randy
Photographer, and AGA has gone off to market to buy more spuds for poteen making....I only gave her two shillings, hope it was enough.?
Chewbacca was last seen shouting and making rude gestures from the back of a cop car.....I really should go and bail her out ( maybe tomorrow).

I think we lost gorgeous George again in the melee of Hawaiian Nite?

On my way now to get Chewbacca bailed....hope it’s worth it, but we did promise she could choose our theme nite for Friday, so needs must!
I must get me feet up then, the comfy chair in the bar is calling me, and a chilled pint of voddy.

Excuse me Lemon but my stint at HM's pleasure has given me time to remember the only
benefit of enforced sobriety that on the 15th August, before I was so cruelly incarcerated, I suggested the Hawaiian themed night. However, I did notice that the screws in the nick had a Friday night shindig of Tarts, Vicars & Nuns. I'd make an excellent Nun!