Uncalled for comments

Most of the threads, where politics becomes involved, seem to sink to insults and name calling irrespective of which side posters are on. "Loony lefties", "Corbynistas", "Maybots" are just a few that I can remember seeing. But one of the worst was seeing someone called "a fat slob" yesterday. It doesn't matter who said it, or who it was referring to, I just find it utterly depressing that supposedly mature, intelligent people, who think they're quite erudite and politically aware, think that's an acceptable thing to say about anyone. These kinds of comments reveal quite a lot about people, I think.

Interesting. Apparently only the lefties are loony.

Oh dear! I could be described as a leftie. Am I loony? ?.
Possibly ? But, I’m not violent and don’t do bashing.

I used to join in quite a bit and enjoyed the posts but recently have found some very hurtful and just move on. It’s a shame because when I was having a hard time with my mum who had dementia I had some lovely support from here. Definitely a different time. So sad after what we’ve just gone through.

I was thinking that, Lucca.

Freeanseasy. “ as it’s either Boris bashing or loony lefties “

And there you have it. So that’s not name calling ?

I enjoy reading threads and post when I feel I have something of value/relevance to the topic to contribute to. I enjoy a good political debate as much as the next woman but tend not to read some of the political posts as it’s either Boris bashing or loony lefties (as another poster has already pointed out). When that happens I just don’t carry on reading any further.

I have received a lot of good advice on here and a lot of support when I recently posted on a relationships thread about my elderly mother and it was comforting to know that I was not alone. I also enjoy a lot of the lighthearted threads - some of which are hilarious and brighten up my day.

If I thought a post was particularly nasty I would report it. If I found I didn’t like where a thread was heading to I would just simply stop reading. I sometimes look at some of the posts on Mumsnet - if you want “nastiness” there is a lot about! Not so much on here though - thank goodness.

Perhaps a timid poster may be apprehensive about posting an opinion, particularly on politics, as others do sometimes demand they provide justification for their opinion.
Oh my goodness, yes Callistemon, it's a bit like wanting to offer an opinion in class, but being reluctant to do so because the teacher demands you explain yourself and give evidence or examples.

willa45 thank you for your post. I do think people should read posts carefully before jumping in angrily sometimes.
Posts sometimes are misinterpreted and can cause problems.
Best to give people the benefit of the doubt if you are not certain.

Just widening the discussion a bit to the real world....I don’t know if you agree but I‘Ve found the “I speak as I find” type of remark to be a thinly veiled excuse to be outright rude !!

It's passive aggressive as it is suggesting that the poster is expecting to be attacked

Ok, yes I understand, but perhaps a timid poster may be apprehensive about posting an opinion, particularly on politics, as others do sometimes demand they provide justification for their opinion.

Excellent post willa and thank Lara.

I was put off posting by all the unnecessary sniping.

*What's wrong with Just my opinion? Why is that passive- aggressive?

Does it not mean just that?*

It's passive aggressive as it is suggesting that the poster is expecting to be attacked, or that others are at some sort of advantage, whereas expressing an opinion is what everyone is doing.

Passive aggression seeks to set the speaker/poster apart from the person/people they are addressing, so that disagreement will feel like kicking a puppy.

As for opinions in discussions - some things are genuinely a matter of opinion (sprouts are vile-tasting vegetables), but others really aren't (Berlin is the capital of France). It is unreasonable to expect someone to justify the former, but surely it's ok to ask for some sort of reason why someone would think the latter?

Sparky debate is enjoyable - also several GN posters have a dry sense of humour and have amused me with their witty responses. What I do find difficult is the poster who, shielding behind anonymity, is rude and aggressive, insulting, and reduces the debate to a 'ner ner' . We have had a few of those - one in particular springs to mind but she seems to have dropped away over the past few months; this has happened previously and then she pops up with a new name.

I call making up posts and comments and attributing them to others, out and out aggressive, not to say sly and deceitful but hey ho.

What are you referring to, tickingbird? . You said something similar yesterday. I didn’t get it then either.

Some may call I say it as I see it rude and aggressive without the passive.
I wondered when you’d join the fray Callistemon!

I call making up posts and comments and attributing them to others, out and out aggressive, not to say sly and deceitful but hey ho.

Merlotgran asked me if I’d care to point out any nasty/bullying posts I’ve seen on GN. I declined - I have a life. I pointed out she was free to look for some. Now I’m a bully!!

Nice try but it won’t wash.

What's wrong with Just my opinion? Why is that passive- aggressive?

Does it not mean just that? Posters do get castigated for expressing an opinion on GN as though that is wrong and are then often asked to back up their post with researched facts and statistics when they are just stating what they think.

That's my opinion.
Stated as plainly as possible, neither passively nor aggressively I hope.

Passive aggressive is being negative about something but not being direct about it. 'Ok, you have the last word.' means that if the other person speaks they look like they won't let the argument drop, and takes the last word for the speaker - that sort of thing.

'Just my opinion', 'I will get shouted down for this, but . . .' are other examples, as is agreeing to do something you don't want to do, then being 'ill' at the last minute rather than just saying that you'd rather not.

So yes, it's often having digs at people, but thinly disguised as being 'nice', or, ironically, as being 'kind'. It's very dishonest, really.

merlotgran

Sarahmob

Lucca can I reassure you that I haven’t taken umbrage and left the thread. I’m still following and reading the comments ?

Of course you are. Otherwise it would be a waste of a can of worms.

Is it just possible that the OP has a life outside GN or has more important things going on in her life? Not everyone is on tenterhooks to see what people they don't even know have to say nor do they feel the need to respond to all the posts on a thread they've started. Some might even want to have time to ponder what has been written before they reply.
Maybe these sort of threads about kindness, etc., keep happening because there is a lot of perceived unkindness on GN so surely that should be food for thought.

Oh well that's not me then. I've never mentioned the OP!

I can't believe that the term passive aggressive is not understood. This entire thread has become passive aggressive!
Passive aggression is not listening to the other but instead seeing everything as a personal attack and immediately responding in defensive mode and then denying all knowledge of doing so. 'I was only just........'. Poor old OP.

Passive-aggressive behaviours are those that involve acting indirectly aggressive rather than directly aggressive.

I'd never heard of it before I joined GN!

I'm not sure either Fennel but I take it as meaning having digs at people?