Feeling inhibited

Well there is so much in your answers that I can relate to!My husband has no interests and usually likes his mobile on ‘speaker’. I don’t like to hear conversations. I tr,unto go out of the room to prevent him listening or chipping in - I regard this as being rude. When I come off the phone he wants me to repeat exactly what has been said - I regard this as being completely intrusive! Also I don’t like to ask my friends back to my house as he is always there, joining in our conversation. When at my friends houses all their partners are elsewhere or appreciate that we prefer to meet with no interference from themselves. Very difficult.

Can't you tell him to go out and not come back for an hour? Maybe even just tell him the truth - that you'd rather speak in private as his presence is off-putting.
Or - as others have suggested - just resume the meetings. It's perfectly do-able now.

I feel exactly the same

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Antonia, why not meet up with your friends? There is nothing to stop you doing that. You can meet in a park or go for a walk, or have a coffee with them. You just need to remain socially distanced from them. I have managed to meet two friends since total lockdown ended. With one we walked in the park and sat down, socially distanced. We took our own drink with us. With the other, we went for lunch in a very empty pub. The trick there is to go early, we went at 12.00 and people were starting to come in as we left.

I feel for you, but a suggestion - could you get an extender which could improve the signal in another room? You will need a diffferent password when using the extender but could be worth it!!

My late partner loved the phone and Skype and I hated speaking on both. He would try and make me talk to people by handing me the phone or involving me in the Skype conversation and then butt in all the time. Since he died I have chatted with friends on Skype and feel quite relaxed doing it because I have no one listening in.

I realise that it's not quite the same as having a verbal chat but have you considered emailing your friends? Also, is there a reason why you cannot meet up for a walk somewhere, observing social distancing of course?

I just go in a different room to talk

You have my sympathy. We have a boxroom which houses our PC, he has already been in twice to see what I'm doing, even if I close the door he has started to stick his head in and start asking questions. If I'm on the phone in the lounge he will either pointedly turn the TV up very loud or start chipping in with comments that are really off subject because he only hears one side of the conversation or passes me a note to prompt me to ask this or that. He has a couple of lifelong male friends he can phone and I wouldnt dream of listening in or chipping in.
He has just announced too that he's decided not to return to his weekly group meetings once they recommence (male only cancer survivors). If I speak to any of the neighbours he wants to know, in great detail, what they said. He has started to sit in the same room when my mobile hairdresser (who is also a neighbour) comes to give me a quick trim so no chance of a girly gossip there any more. It reminds me of prison visiting when you're not allowed to be alone.
We used to have a small fibreglass boat on the canal and he would happily spend the day there pottering, reading, snoozing, fishing and nattering to other blokes about engines etc., but he announced recently its on the market now because its "too far to travel to get there & hes now bored with it".
We've been here before when he had no interests outside of the house & started to resent anything I did that didnt involve him and I can see it happening again and frankly I'm dreading it.

I don’t think the comments on here are any reflection on posters’ relationships with their husbands polnan.

It’s perfectly natural to want a bit of privacy at times and chatting to friends is one of those times no matter how loved our husbands might be.

My husband barely listens to the conversation when it's him I'm talking to ?

Weak not week

If your WiFi signal is too week have you tried switching mobile data on? There may be a small charge for this from your mobile server but usually you can get a limited amount for free.

wow! the more I read some of your posts, your lives, makes me realise what a wonderful relationship/life I had with my dh.

I so relate too! You just don’t talk to your husband in the same way you talk to your friends. I always feel ever so slightly inhibited talking to my friends if he is around. I’m getting over it thought because a. he isn’t remotely interested, and b. is so deaf now he wouldn’t hear much anyway.

Oh I so relate! I try and time my phonecalls to when he is out. He on the other hand puts his calls on loudspeaker and chats away. I am very inhibited when I'm being listens to.

Use headphones. Then at least he will only hear one side.

I usually take my ipad into the bedroom when i have a facetime chat but thats only because its usually at night and i dont want to disturb his tv, i couldnt care less if he hears my conversations

Headphones are great for this, not only does it cut half the conversation off to a listener it just makes it feel private which is half the battle. DH and I both have calls with friends and colleagues. In all honesty I don't think either of us are interested in the others calls, but headphones do provide that slightly shut off protected feel.

Why does it have to be a phone call? Why don’t you meet them for a coffee or lunch?

Restaurants, pubs and cafes have gone to great lengths to provide a safe environment for customers and staff.

If we don’t use them, too many won’t survive.

I don’t really like chatting on the phone anyway, but in the days when we used the landline and BT charged exorbitantly for the privilege, MrA used to walk past making the yapping signal ? in an effort to curtail the conversation.
I totally sympathise Antonia.

Oh, that must be off-putting, OP. My DH just takes himself off to another room when I have my virtual reading group (there are too many of us to meet up in person). He spent a couple of happy hours in the kitchen yesterday with his newspapers, crosswords and music. He’d be bored to death listening to our gossip learned literary discussions.

Antonia
First off, phone your internet provider and ask to check your speed. It's well known that they turn the speeds down. I often phone virgin to give them a nudge ?
But why aren't you meeting your friends for lunch.

I used to meet up with six former colleagues for lunch. We have met up in a garden a couple of times all socially distanced and in a remembrance garden which has a lot of benches once.
We have been friends for many years and trust each other with problems. It is a different type of relationship to the one we have with our husbands but still very special.