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Chatting to strangers - do you?

(108 Posts)
queengran Mon 05-Oct-20 17:11:25

I was in the bank on Friday and started chatting to the lady behind me who looked a bit dazed and confused. She said it was only her 4th outing since this all began. She lives with her a elderly mother who has breathing issues and is still shielding, and her sister is in a care home. She had a mask on, and a shield. I really felt for her and tried to keep her chatting for as long as I could. She is (relatively) safe from the virus - that is not at high risk - but is shielding herself so as to protect those she loves. It must be so lonely. I know we're all probably sick of the be kind message, but really she looked so grateful for a chat, I'm going to make a point of starting conversations with more people when I'm out and about, not that that's very often though. It might be the only conversation they have that day, and sometimes for me the only conversation I'll have aside from with my DH. I will take a hint though if they look like they'd rather be left alone! grin

TerriBull Tue 06-Oct-20 07:58:30

My husband does it all the time, particularly in lifts, it's almost a compulsion to break the ice with total strangers. I'm a bit more reticent, but I would always respond to anyone else. When I commuted up to London for work there was often a stiff formality, until something like "leaves on the line" presented itself and the train came to a grinding halt for no apparent reason, there never seemed to be any announcement and that left a question mark hanging in the air as to why we were just a few yards from say Clapham Junction with no sign of reaching our destination. A few conversations borne out of frustration. Now of course everyone is talking, but into their phones!

BlueSky Tue 06-Oct-20 09:21:42

Terri I think your DH and mine are long lost twins! grin
I think the 2m distance is great anyway, can’t stand people getting into your personal space, I like the arrows on floors one way in one out, and the hand sanitizers.

sodapop Tue 06-Oct-20 12:31:42

I always talk to people as well, like MOnica I'm incurably nosy interested in other people's lives.

Spangler Wed 07-Oct-20 08:24:07

BlueSky

Thanks Spangler but as I was saying I’m not shy, just ‘quiet’ (my DH wouldn’t agree!) grin

My wife and I are pretty much in tune most of the time, spats are rare, that is until we are dancing. Learning a new routine, I get grief from my wife and grief from our (female) instructor. By the way, our instructor is a shy person, she took to dancing as a way of dealing with her shyness.

When we finally get a particular move right the two ladies say nothing but stand there looking smug. I shouldn't have said it, I knew as soon as the words were out of my mouth I would regret it:

"Have you two shut up, or have I gone deaf?"

MellowYellow Wed 07-Oct-20 08:38:48

I thought the Cornish could chat your ears off until I lived in Liverpool for a season where strangers would happily join you at a cafe table and chat away! I live on my own so I love talking to strangers.

BlueSky Wed 07-Oct-20 08:39:10

So you manage to silence them Spangler?
When I’m out with DH I couldn’t get a word in if I wanted to as he chats to strangers without coming up for air! But then he gets it when we are at home as I’m all knowing, all seeing and always right! grin

Liz46 Wed 07-Oct-20 08:50:02

I remember with sadness a day when I volunteered in a charity shop. An elderly lady started to talk to me and the shop wasn't busy so I was happy to chat to her for quite a while.
Eventually she said 'thank you for talking to me, take this for your charity' and she gave me £5. I gave the money to the manageress and we rang it up in the till.

pollyperkins Wed 07-Oct-20 08:55:56

I find people in queues talk more these days as there are common topics of conversation like arent these masks uncomfortable, this queue is slow isn’t it.

Greyduster Wed 07-Oct-20 09:05:32

I always have. It’s very common around here to natter to complete strangers. My DS is the same, but DD, like her father, is uncomfortable with the idea of talking to people she doesn’t know. DH knows what I’m like and he just lets me bang on while he tries not to be included!

hallgreenmiss Wed 07-Oct-20 09:57:24

BlueBelle

I talk to anyone anyone and everyone if they look as if they don’t want to engage I shut up bu most people are up for a chat
When my grandkids were younger they used to say ‘who was that Nan’ And I d say ‘I don’t know’ and they d give me a ‘shes is totally mad‘ look

Me too, love it?

Romola Wed 07-Oct-20 09:59:56

My DH is the one who talks to people in the supermarket, not me. It is true that he used to be very good-looking and charming (still is for 85) and people would respond readily.
Nowadays I just wonder if people think, poor old man, he's lonely and glad of a chat. If I'm with him, I walk away and check out another area e.g. the wine shelves.
PS I can't find square brackets on my keyboard to put in a smile emoji. Bother.

Phloembundle Wed 07-Oct-20 10:05:35

Yes, all the time. Once I start there's no stopping me, and I have to constantly remind myself to be a good listener too.

Wendy Wed 07-Oct-20 10:22:02

I am a NHS volunteer responder. I do Check and Chat. People can be referred by GP’s or social services or they can refer themselves on 0808 196 3646. I ring a lot of lonely people who need someone to chat to. It’s very rewarding.

KaazaK Wed 07-Oct-20 10:23:19

M0nica, I agree! I love embarrassing my children! It’s real role reversal with myself and them at present. I was married for 46 years to their dad, not always the happiest of marriages. He died last year age 67 which despite everything I still felt was very tragic as he was by today’s standards young. However I’ve now lost weight, dyed my hair silver blonde and found a new relationship! My children think I’ve lost the plot!

Pppp

CrazyGrandma2 Wed 07-Oct-20 10:24:46

Always have done and probably always will.

Chardy Wed 07-Oct-20 10:25:34

We used to laugh at DD when she was little, as she'd talk to everyone in the Tesco's queue. Last week DDiL told ne that DGD does it.

By the way apparently 'a stranger is just a friend you haven't made yet' is WBYeats DiscoGran

jaylucy Wed 07-Oct-20 10:26:52

All the time! My son says that I will talk to anybody and it's true!
I always think back to a time when , during my lunch hour, I was in a queue at the till in Woolies and there was an elderly lady in front of me. Because the person being served was proving to be a problem for the retail staff, the lady and I got chatting about how things had changed in shops etc.
At last they opened another till and the lady I had been chatting to walked forward to be served but before she got to the desk, she turned and thanked me for the chat , saying that I had been the first person she had spoken to since she had last come into town at the weekend - it was Wednesday!
So those of you that stand there, refusing any social action with anyone standing within cooee of you, just remember that there are thousands, if not millions of people that live on there own with no one to talk to. Two minutes of your time cost you nothing but just that smile, hello, or a comment about the weather can make someone else feel a whole lot better about their day !

Riggie Wed 07-Oct-20 10:35:08

I have an adult son with kearning disabilities. He talks to everyone.

He's a great icebreaker at GP or hospital appointments. When we arrive people will be sitting there quietly. Within a few minutes he will have everyone chatting like they've all known each other for years!!

Lupin Wed 07-Oct-20 10:36:26

I'm happy to chat if it seems welcome. Before lockdown I got to know a few local people who queued when I queued. I find that I'm more of a listener, and am happy to do that too.

Craftycat Wed 07-Oct-20 10:46:45

I do sometimes- such as waiting in a long queue- but not as a rule unless I am spoken to first.
My DH however talks to anyone & everyone! He knows the names of all the floor staff in our local supermarket. I go elsewhere to do my main shop & I only ever talk to the lady at the self scan place just out of politeness as she rarely has much to do.
Consequently I can do a full week's shop in about 30 mins tops & he takes at least that to buy a loaf of bread!

Panda25 Wed 07-Oct-20 10:47:33

I think it's nice to talk to strangers. Keep a safe distance, wear a mask and talk loud enough for them to hear. Most people respond. Round here everyone says hello to everyone else.

BlueSky Wed 07-Oct-20 10:50:31

Craftycat I had to laugh at your post, same here, we are in a minority as most grans on here chat, but there’s a couple of us who leave it to our DH! grin

Speldnan Wed 07-Oct-20 10:51:02

Avoid speaking to anyone- let alone strangers. Have avoided using regular checkouts at Supermarkets for years. Now use the scan thing which means in and out with little communication with anyone!

annodomini Wed 07-Oct-20 11:16:28

My sister amazes me with her ability to find out a total stranger's life story within minutes. I think she owes it to her social work training. I am happy to talk to a stranger too, but usually it's the weather that is the ice breaker (what a strange metaphor!) or a cute dog - people are always happy to talk about their dogs! When DS1 was a baby, and a rather attractive one at that, people in the small town where we were living used to come up to the pram and ask 'How old is she? What's her name?' I don't thing that a parent nowadays would see this as intrusion.

annodomini Wed 07-Oct-20 11:17:41

I don't thing that a parent nowadays would see this as intrusion. I do think!!