Husband won't accept 'charity'

Actually I'm not at all sure that you would get attendance allowance for help on the garden.

Attendance allowance is to enable you to pay for somebody to attend to your personal needs that you cannot manage for yourself.

Whether there's any other benefit to help with gardening I don't know.

Oh sorry, I can see lots of people have said stuff about that.
I didn't see there was a page 2?

My elderly cousin aged 97 met this anomaly.

If older people are to remain independent then it stands to reason domestic help may be needed: laundry, cooking, bed change, cleaning etc., Many of them not in a financial position to pay and employ privately even with a mind and ability to find someone. If elderly people need assistance to live in their own home, they may indeed need help to bath and dress, but surely a clean, warm and comfortable living environment equally important. Another instance where the powers that be show little or no understanding.

ExD, would you both consider downsizing? I know it is a major upheaval to move house but not having a big garden to worry about would be a great help. A small modern flat or bungalow is so much easier to keep clean, tidy and maintained.

Perhaps this might be irrelevant, but I do wonder what newspaper your husband reads. Has that influenced him to call anyone receiving benefits that they are entitled to a "sponger"?

Do you have a son or daughter who could talk to your husband and get him to see sense?

Presumably you have paid taxes all your working lives. This is an entitlement to help those who are experiencing difficulties because of illness or disability to pay for the help they need.
Apply for it and use it to pay for help you may need.

I agree that downsizing could be a good idea, we must give more thought to it ourselves.

Age uk does gardening. Is there a branch near you

I'd say good luck if you're accepted at all, as 3 years ago I'd filled in the 48 page book after having had a TIA which left me dizzy and scared to go out. Because I live alone, there was shopping to still do and hospital appointments to attend and keep and taxi's were costing dearly.
Anyway, after waiting a couple of weeks someone rang me to ask if I can make myself meals and eat without choking so I said yes-----then was turned down at 77.
Also did I need anyone through the day or night to which I answered no, so that was that.

I'd never claimed anything in my life, never on the sick in all my years of working, so as long as you can cook for yourself you're not on ! It matters not how dizzy/sick you are as long as you can cook a meal !

If you qualify,

Just. Do. It.

My MIL had this allowance and every penny went in her savings account !
There is no check on what you do with it

If you are awarded AA you can spend it as you wish. No one checks.

Attendance Allowance isn't charity, it is a benefit you contributed to when you paid your National Insurance stamp for all those years.

Would your DH refuse to claim on his household insurance if the house burnt down, or the car was stolen? Of course he wouldn't. What is the difference? You paid NI when both of you worked, so that you could claim a whole raft of benefits if you needed them later. You would not have been able to claim AA if you did not pay NI.

If he is obdurate, you do not need his consent to apply. He does not have to sign the form. Here is a link to getting the form www.gov.uk/government/publications/attendance-allowance-claim-form . Read pensionpat's post above it is so right. If you have difficulty with the form someone from the Pensions Agency can visit or speak to you on the phone. The CAB or your local Age UK can also help.

ExD the only people who can decided if you are eligible or not is the DWP.
Apply! The worst that can happen is you are told you are not eligible. As had been previously stated, no-one will check your finances.
You don't need your husband's permission.

I would encourage applicants for AA to get help to complete the form from CAB, Age UK or any similar organisation. To get an idea of what sort of things you need to tell them, have a look at this. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/attendance-allowance/claiming-attendance-allowance/help-with-attendance-allowance-form/
Remember it is about what help you NEED not what help you get.
There are lots of examples if you read it all.
My mum had to be persuaded to apply as she was someone who was always positive about what she could manage to do, not one to focus on her difficulties.
Once she got the money she still would not pay anyone for help, but she gave Dad petrol money for all the running around he did on her behalf.so he befitted more than her.

Please note, nobody will ask you how you spend the money.
You don’t need your husband’s permission to apply. Just do it.

This is the problem with benefits ,there are thousands of elderly folk who wont claim things they are due ,they think its scrounging or makes them look bad.I've done voluntary work with some elderly in the past and if things aren't just added to their pension they wont actively look for it.
Thats why the heating allowance is important ,it just turns up in their bank accounts no questions need asked or answered .Of course paying a decent pension like other countries might solve a lot of the problems.The pension here is abominable compared to most European countries .

I have no hesitation accepting or claiming whatever allowance I can, I’ve paid my taxes for 50 yrs so have earned every penny, if I didn’t politicians would only waste it on something else.

what's it got to do with him.
you are applying for you, related to your disability.
are you one of these submitted wives, like from some cult, who has to get permission to do or think anything. why are you trying to convince him.
but do get help from a support group or person who is experienced in filling in these forms, as there are many concealed traps for the unwary.
good luck.

Nowt to do with him - just do it. Does he order you about in other aspects of your life? Is he the boss?

You do not need his permission to do this - this is the 21st century!

I usually find "the doctor said..." works in times like these, and for the sake of harmony would tell a white lie.
"The doctor said under no circumstances am I to do such heavy work. He said I must look after my back".

You don’t need your husband’s permission to apply for the benefit and consequently don’t need to “change his mind”.

As others have said , Citizens Advice will help you with the form if you need it .

I would certainly apply for Attendance allowance but get help from Age Uk or CA B.The form is very long and I found that keeping a diary of what help was needed during the day and night was helpful.I agree that help for gardening wouldn't be considered but there must be other things you need assistance with. Attendance allowance can take up to 8 to 12 weeks to be assessed but if allowed is backdated to the day you ask for the form to be sent .If you apply and complete the form online the allowance is dated from the date it is received. In my case my husband had been admitted to hospital and the officer rang every week to see lf he had been discharged as the allowance couldn't be authorised until he came home .He arrived home Monday evening and the officer rang on the Wednesday and very pleased I told him the good news ,he authorised the payment and told me the money would be in our joint account the following day . Sadly my husband died that day. The allowance was for both day and night and helped to pay for his funeral.

Claim it in your own right. What you do with the money is up to you

Tell him your GP has advised you apply for it.

It can be a difficult form ExD.
Do you have someone to help you? Im not suggesting you are incapable at all but if your husband isn't willing to assist then maybe another pair of eyes would be useful.
I helped my mum with hers. I think the only question they didn't ask was what colour knickers she was wearing!!!
Can you fill it in without his knowledge?
I get that may feel underhand but clearly your garden is important to you.
Age concern have gardeners (that are checked) but you do have to pay them so the money will be useful. I hope you find a solution. Let us know ?