Gransnet forums

Chat

Page 8 of 8 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

Husband won't accept 'charity'

(180 Posts)
Add comment | Report
ExD Fri 09-Oct-20 12:39:12

I qualify for attendance allowance having broken my back last year. My husband is waiting for a hip replacement.
My vertebrae has healed but still gives me pain for which I take morphine (waiting for Pain Clinic appointment) but I'm unable to do much physical work.
I need help with a large garden but OH won't hear of my applying for AA and using it to employ a gardener, because there are "too many people sponging off the government" or "we don't accept charity", but he can't/won't help me even with the heavy work because I've always managed.
I could use some sensible suggestions I can put forward to make him see sense and change his mind. (no silly ideas such as 'leave him', 'stop cooking meals' please, I don't want to precipitate conflict).
How do you think I should go about it?
We're in our 80s.

Add comment | Report
Marydoll Fri 16-Oct-20 16:47:43

All that matters is that ExD gets the help she needs and is entitled too.

Monica, thank you for your excellent and succint explanations.

Add comment | Report
suziewoozie Fri 16-Oct-20 17:44:16

M0nica

Suziewoozie well that blows a hole in this thread. The OP's husband considers that AA is charity. You have just confirmed he is right.

I doubt there is anyone on here, resident in the UK, who has not paid NICs or has an entitlementto NICS benefits through a spouse.

No it’s not charity - it’s funded by taxation which we all pay. But it’s related to NIC that’s all I wanted to make clear. Me if I were advising someone reluctant, I’d muddy the water by muttering about NI snd tax. Are free prescriptions charity btw ? That’s another argument that could be used.

Add comment | Report
suziewoozie Fri 16-Oct-20 17:44:42

Not related of course

Add comment | Report
Callistemon Fri 16-Oct-20 18:15:57

NI payments are another tax and whilst they do not fully fund benefits, they do go towards benefits and services:

the NHS
the State Pension
unemployment benefits
sickness and disability allowances.

Other taxation funds these benefits too.
If you have paid tax and NI there is no need to feel guilty whatsoever or that this is charity, ExD, if you come into the parameters for AA.

Page 8 of 8 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |